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DD (10) is being bullied by a boy, who is 6.

(35 Posts)
Ihavechangedmyusernameforthis Wed 06-Jul-16 20:14:39


I don't really know what to do. The school seem to have a million and one excuses for this 6 year old. Claiming that he is testing his new words on an older child, trying to look cool, to just trying to be friendly and it coming out wrong! They always mention the age gap, implying that it shouldn't upset DD as much as it does.

My family are no help and are also a bit clueless as to how it could upset DD so much.

DD has to avoid this boy on the playground. Yr 1-Yr 6 share, but for each half of their lunch, KS3 isn't out when KS1 is, if that makes sense?

He calls her fat, 4 eyes, and other childlike terms to refer to something about her in a negative way. No she isn't fat, but it shouldn't matter if she is!! Yes, she wears glasses. She has extra 1-1 for reading and it's usually at the same time when Yr 1 have circle time so she is the hall with them, it's cut off, but only by a half size brick wall, he will occasionally walk by and call her stupid and the staff just don't say anything because of his age.

I appreciate that to me and you and maybe other children who are 10, they may laugh it off or not even let it bother them, but it's really affecting her, I have tried so much

ZoeB2016 Wed 06-Jul-16 20:20:03

I wish I had some advice to give but not there yet (my DS is 8 months) is there any way of speaking to the other child's parents and explaining how much it bothers your DD? Then they could try to intervene on their side? Sorry if that's not much help. Hope it improves for your DD x

OurBlanche Wed 06-Jul-16 20:21:21

Check the school website for it bullying procedure. If you can't find it request a copy of it. Read it then ask the HT for a meeting to discus the procedures they have not been following.

The age gap does not matter. Your DD is being made to feel vulnerable and the school is not doing what it should to protect her. There may well be reasons that the boy is not being punished, he may have issues of his own, but they should be able to deal with that without your daughter being collateral damage.

Oh, look up their complaints procedure while you are there. Your next step will probably be Board of Governors...

Basicbrown Wed 06-Jul-16 20:23:19

The school are completely wrong. It is a really common scenario for a younger child to bully an older child. It is bullying and actually harder for the victim to deal with.

Have you been to the head? If so you need to formally write to them copying in the cog, child protection officer. If not it sounds like you need to do so.

RadicalPessimist Wed 06-Jul-16 20:24:17

Gosh, no don't talk to the other parents! A problem in school should be dealt with by teachers not parents.

I second the idea of getting hold of a copy of the school's bullying policy. Insist is it followed to the letter and then escalate if they do not. Make sure you. emphasise how this behaviour is impacting on your DD.

ZoeB2016 Wed 06-Jul-16 20:30:20

Oops sorry op. RadicalPessimist I will keep that in mind for the future.

IJustLostTheGame Wed 06-Jul-16 20:31:09

Why is a 6 year old allowed to run around amok insulting people? Why is his teacher not intervening? So what if he's 6? My 3 year old has to say sorry for stuff and pack it in, and he's got 3 years on her.
I would be spitting OP, not only for your poor dd but the lack of basic discipline the school seems to offer its students.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 06-Jul-16 20:35:03

It doesn't matter how old your dd is or how old he is. You're never too old to be hurt and you're never too young to be hurtful.
And all that. He's just testing his new words. No he's just being a little shit, and The school are being even bigger shits by ignoring their duty of care to your dd.
I would be getting in touch with the child protection officer.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 06-Jul-16 20:36:03

My nephew is 3 years old. He understands about being sensitive to others.

gottachangethename1 Wed 06-Jul-16 20:42:15

The fact that he is younger than your child is irrevalant. He should not be allowed to continue to bully another child. I would go
Back to the school again and state that it's a problem. As a former teacher, I'd be stopping his outdoor play for a few days as a punishment and then let outdoor supervisors monitor the situation. Your daughtershould not have to put up with this.

beetroot2 Wed 06-Jul-16 20:44:57

I'd also go back to the school. He is 6 and knows perfectly well what he's doing. I'd also ask them to contact his parents and maybe set up a meeting where both parties attend. I would no drop this.

BrandNewAndImproved Wed 06-Jul-16 20:48:22

As soon as you start talking about the bullying policy (it will be on their website) they will sort it out.

BerriesandLeaves Wed 06-Jul-16 21:10:50

I agree with everything gottachangethename1 said

JohnBarrowmaniac Wed 06-Jul-16 21:29:33

What a bloody awful thing for your poor DD to have to suffer. I agree with others- the bully's age is irrelevant and I would also agree that you should ask for a copy of the bullying policy. Even if the little shit younger child does have issues, why should your daughter have to put up with this torment?

Pinkbabe1 Wed 06-Jul-16 22:12:12

I'm so sorry that your DD has to endure this. Please don't let this drop OP - take it to the highest level until it stops

Shizzlestix Wed 06-Jul-16 22:36:30

This needs tackling. The age is irrelevant. I suggest a formal meeting with the Head and both class teachers where you state very clearly how your DD is feeling and how the constant comments upset her. You need to impress upon them how serious this is, it cannot be ignored. This little shitty 6 year old needs bollocking. Yes, yes, I know this is harsh, but to be 6 and already being such a little git is concerning.

scaryteacher Wed 06-Jul-16 22:42:02

Use the phrase 'duty of care' - they hate that.

Flashbangandgone Thu 07-Jul-16 00:15:08

I can totally see how a younger child can bully an older one, especially if the school are making excuses for this age....

He can get away with doing/saying all sorts as he's 'only 6', but if she did the same to him, it would be treated much more seriously.... In effect, by being younger he is ironically in the more powerful position. I remember being harassed by younger children when at school. They could hit me with impunity.... but if I'd hit them I'd have been in huge trouble!

Basicbrown Thu 07-Jul-16 06:51:39

In effect, by being younger he is ironically in the more powerful position. I remember being harassed by younger children when at school. They could hit me with impunity.... but if I'd hit them I'd have been in huge trouble!

Yes, this ^^ plus the fact that being bullied by a younger child feels even more humiliating for the victim than being bullied by someone your age or older.

honkinghaddock Thu 07-Jul-16 07:06:50

He could have additional needs ( so not relevant what other people's 6 year olds or 3 year olds understand) and that may be the reason for the testing words comment. But it shouldn't be impacting on your daughter like this and the school shouldn't just be leaving it.

GoblinLittleOwl Thu 07-Jul-16 07:44:00

It would be more helpful to show your daughter how to respond to name calling, ie 'at least I am not a silly rude little boy' and sweeping past, or simply ignoring it. She is ten, he is six.

Basicbrown Thu 07-Jul-16 08:02:26

So bullying is the victim's fault goblin? Nice.

SeventyNineBottlesOfWine Thu 07-Jul-16 08:11:31

The age difference shouldn't matter a jot. You can be a hateful bully at any age.
Words can hurt no matter what the age of the person saying them.
The school are not only failing in their duty of care to your daughter, but also to the boy as well, being allowed to bully relentlessly with no consequence isn't going to help his social skills or personal development one bit.
I second the advice given above to speak to the head and ask them about how they are following their bullying policy.

KamMum Fri 08-Jul-16 22:10:00

While I do feel the school should be dealing with the bullying I do agree with goblin. Kids need to learn how to deal with bullies...maybe she should thump him one to scare him off...half joking...

RubbleBubble00 Fri 08-Jul-16 22:33:36

is he singling her out for the name calling or is he saying nasty things to other children

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