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To ask whats the grossest thing your child has done?

(52 Posts)
Vickyyyy Wed 06-Jul-16 18:52:07

So..

So, this morning kids woke up late (for them...meaning like 8am) but instead of the nonestop screaming until we got them up, they were playing and laughing so naturally we took the time to have a bit of a lie in. Worst.Decision.EVER.

20 mins or so later, go to sort them out. Daughter [3] had done an absolute monster of a poo in the middle of the bedroom floor, and had clearly spent the past 20 minutes PAINTING HER BROTHER WITH IT while they both laughed about how amusing it was.

She then looked at us like we were mental while we had a breakdown.

Son [nearly 2] had a meltdown in the shower while pointing at the pieces of poo that were going down the plughole, tried grabbing at some of it too while crying as if we were throwing out his favourite toy infront of him. hmm

Then Daughter asked why 'baby' was clean again with a big frown... once he had been showered and was no longer looking like a gigantic poopsicle angry

Can anyone top this? I'm sure this isn't the worst of it and I should be on the lookout for something worse before long. I honestly did think it was as gross as it got watching son licking up a particularly terrible snot that he had sneezed out, complete with smirk. But it obviously gets worse?!

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Wed 06-Jul-16 18:55:07

Nah, can't top that.

Can understand her looking at you like you were mental, though. It's only poo. Poo isn't a big deal. There's poo particles everywhere.

Vickyyyy Wed 06-Jul-16 18:56:33

Can understand her looking at you like you were mental, though. It's only poo. Poo isn't a big deal. There's poo particles everywhere.

--

Indeed. But you do not expect to see your baby boy covered head to toe with a manic grin on his face, and your daughter with it on her hands looking proud like she had just done a pretty picture or something grin

threeelephants Wed 06-Jul-16 18:56:49

A three year old should know not to mess with poo.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Wed 06-Jul-16 18:57:52

Ah, wait. I can top it.

A mate at work told me that when her baby was ill she sucked the mucus out of his nose with her mouth.

I didn't eat for about a week after she told me this. I heaved whilst writing the post. Still can't eat anything snotty - mushy peas, green smoothie, apple sauce, that weird dip you get in Indian restaurants.

It really affected me...

sparepantsandtoothbrush Wed 06-Jul-16 18:58:36

DD puked in my mouth when she was a toddler. That was pretty grim

itsatrap Wed 06-Jul-16 18:58:51

Sorry, I can imagine this was an horrendous experience for you, but it has really made me laugh, especially the bit about trying to save the bits of poo going down the plughole!!

Vickyyyy Wed 06-Jul-16 18:59:45

The mucus thing, I have done that once and it NEVER has left me. I had to though as the poor thing was struggling to breathe...DD used to have huge issues with mucus/chest problems when very very small.

hazeyjane Wed 06-Jul-16 19:00:16

Ate cat poo.

loubielou2 Wed 06-Jul-16 19:00:28

Collected toenail and fingernail clippings in a box for two years. Also, wiped his bogeys on the wall next to his bed to the point where they became so hardened that DH had to use an electric sander to remove them.

maz210 Wed 06-Jul-16 19:02:21

My son grabbed a little rabbit pellet poo from his older sister's nappy and sprinted off with it when we tried to get it back. He was only just one though grin

ApocalypseNowt Wed 06-Jul-16 19:04:39

DD1 ate a spider. DD2 ate a slug.

I do feed my dc btw but apparently there's nothing like a bit of raw protein.

Don't think this tops your poo story though. Hope you took photos first for future embarrassment opportunities.

CigarsofthePharoahs Wed 06-Jul-16 19:07:04

What my 2 year old is doing right now with his dinner. It's like extreme body art.
My 5 year old has eaten cat food.

coughingbean Wed 06-Jul-16 19:07:41

I don't know why I clicked on this thread before dinner!

Whoopsydo Wed 06-Jul-16 19:08:16

My friend found her toddler with a slug hanging out of his mouth. She tried to get it out...he gulped it down

OutOfAces Wed 06-Jul-16 19:08:34

Not mine. But a story a friend told me.

They were out for the day and her DS wanted to go to the toilet, when he came out of the toilet my friend asked her DS if he'd washed his hands, to which he replied "no I couldn't reach the sink, so I just licked them clean"

Whoopsydo Wed 06-Jul-16 19:09:01

Ps hazeyjane- you win!!!

Exercisejunkieforlife Wed 06-Jul-16 19:14:00

Yep I can top that šŸ˜€.

When DD1 was about 8 months old she I used to let her crawl around in the evening for 10 mins with her nappy off.

I was in the kitchen making dinner when I heard her smacking her lips .... Well you can imagine the rest. I found her in the hallway eating her own poo šŸ˜µšŸ˜µ.

I still gag when I think about it now. šŸ˜‚

Verticalvenetianblinds Wed 06-Jul-16 19:15:59

Ds (1) ate his poo.

CwtchMeQuick Wed 06-Jul-16 19:16:28

My friends 2.5yo threw up all over the back of my car when I was on the way back to hers with him. It stunk. I chuck the car in the direction of her driveway and sprint round the car so him going 'aunty cwtch! Pasta and meatballs! Mmmmmmm' Friend pulled up to me disgustedly fishing the larger bits of regurgitated pasta out of his mouth and lobbing it out the car envy

Vickyyyy Wed 06-Jul-16 19:16:57

OMG I should have expected it but the eating poo ones (especially cat poo lol) are making me feel slightly queezy thinking about it. Luckily we haven't had an eating poo, or slugs, or anything strange moment yet. I guess its maybe to come. Lovely.

Owlytellsmesecrets Wed 06-Jul-16 19:19:50

We have disabled DS..... He's dribbly. Cannot say how many times he has dribbled in my mouth. He was also refluxy for about 2.5 years... We've ingested his vomit too!

Babysafari Wed 06-Jul-16 19:25:30

Ds eats his bogey, absolutely no idea why.

What I want to know though op is what did you do about the carpet?

Mooey89 Wed 06-Jul-16 19:25:52

outof shock shock shock

itmustbemyage Wed 06-Jul-16 19:26:09

My son when about 8/9 decided he couldn't be bothered to get out of bed to go to the loo, two doors along the landing. Decided to pee in a juice bottle, obviously this was such a great idea that he kept doing it until he had quite the collection of bottles hidden in his room. I was less than amused when I found them as he was definitely old enough to know better.

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