To want to change my eternity ring?(8 Posts)
I feel so awful for posting this; firstly- there are soooo many more important things to worry about in the world and secondly, I sound like such an ungrateful cow. But here goes:
My dh got me this ring last year- I was pregnant and quite emotional when he gave it to me. I think it's so ugly - I think he realised I didn't like it when he gave it to me because I just stared at it and couldn't say anything. And then I cried (blame the hormones!).
Anyway, I protested as much as I could that I did actually like it because i didn't want to hurt his feelings and he had spent so much time researching it apparently.
Anyway, there are so many reasons why I hate it- the green stones clash with my other ring, it's very yellow and it's diagonal. My dh said that he loves that feature the most but I can't get my head around it; it's just so squint. But the deeper reason that I hate it is just that, since he gave it to me, everything just seems to have gone a bit wrong. I've had a touch of pnd I think, my family have been quite ill, I've felt very lonely and isolated and, stupid as it sounds, this ring feels a bit...cursed.
So, and sorry for rambling, aibu to want to change it? I was thinking I could shave the horrible gold edging off to at least make it less squint? Would that look even worse?
In an ideal world I would just throw it in the river or sell it and donate the money to a pnd charity, but it would my dh's heart.
It sounds like you're displacing your worries onto the ring. You may not like it, but it's certainly not responsible for your life going a bit wrong. Take it off for now, and put it somewhere safe. Explain to your DH that you're struggling and you need to put it away for a while. Don't do anything else with it - you will regret it. In years to come it will be a symbol of how you got through a horrible time.
Next thing - what will help you to feel a bit brighter? Is there one small thing you can do today that'll lighten things for you, even a little bit?
Irrelevant but I think it's really nice! I agree with thesparrow though, I just wouldn't wear it for a while if it's bothering you and then see how you feel when things are looking up. I think the fact that dh had put so much into choosing it would mean too much to me to dispose of it for either superstitious or aesthetic reasons.
I have that exact ring and I love it.
Put it away for a while then see how you feel about it.
My husband bought me an eternity ring 13 years ago that is not what I would have picked and was not keen on, but he too put a lot of thought into it and it was given with love, so I did not say anything, at first I did not wear it much at all, but over the years it has grown on me and now it is never off my finger and I now love it, it is more what it symbolises, but also my taste has changed, so in hindsight it was perfect.
I now have a second one which is stunning and pairs beautifully with the 1st, he picked well this time!
So give it time if you are not in the best place right now, it may grow on you and the significance may override the actual design if you get what I mean.
I know you are not supposed to have 2, but I love sparkly things
As another poster said, you're projecting life difficulties onto a blameless piece of jewellery. Your ring isn't cursed. You just don't like it. Stop wearing it if it makes you feel better. Sorry to hear about the PND. Just take the ring off and get on with trying to put things in place to help yourself feel better.
Thank you everyone- what a weight off my chest writing that was! The silly thing is, I look at the photo and yes- it's really pretty. I think I have been projecting a lot of bad feelings into it and imagining things about it that really are not there. I've put it away for now in its box and will take it back out once I've gained a bit of perspective. Thank you all again
YANBU for not liking it, if you don't like it you don't like it.
Can you post a picture of your other rings?
I think it's important wedding, engagement and eternity all match!
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.