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AIBU shall i call socil services??

(90 Posts)
cookiemama14 Wed 06-Jul-16 08:43:13

Hi I am newbie here, just want some advice about what I do. I know someone who pregnant due in December, she got special needs ,emotional behaviour problems, she is 29 but act like 17yr old, her dog was taken away from her by her family as she was not capable of looking after it, her family are concerned because they say she can't look after her self let alone a baby. I have tried to help give advice and she said "I don't care, I don't want to know". She had a stillborn 3yrs ago and last pregnancy ss was involved, but not this one ,idk why. She was smoking last ,pregnancy and doing with this one, she got type 1 diabetes, autoimmune hepatitis B, I am worried what affect she having on her unborn, and lack capacity to Understand this and to look after baby, but she seems to think she knows everything about babies, when she clearly don't understand, she did not know what swaddling is, even saying she very experienced with many different babies, I know she had 3yr over for two hrs while mother at dentist , she ended up hitting the 3yr old, also her sister don't trust her with ds who is two, when he was new born she let him bang his head and not tell her sister, but sister found out. Do you think I shall call ss , I know if I am posting this in the right bit, but any advice would be much appreciated,Ty.

RubbleBubble00 Wed 06-Jul-16 08:53:36

I'd say she probably on ss radar and she would have been flagged during her prenatal hospital visits. If she type one she will be under cosultant care

Houseconfusion Wed 06-Jul-16 08:53:54

Beak. Out.

LIZS Wed 06-Jul-16 08:55:58

I'm sure she's already on the radar.

blueskyinmarch Wed 06-Jul-16 08:57:38

If she has booked in with her HCP as being pregnant this will definitely flag up previous SS involvement and they should pass this on. If she is due in December she must only be in the early stages of pregnancy so they may not be overly involved just yet. If you are worried then a phone call to give SS the heads up would be fine. This sort of thing happens all the time. (I am a social worker)

LadyStarkOfWinterfell Wed 06-Jul-16 09:03:34

Is she booked with a midwife? If so they must already have referred her. If you want to be safe then do it yourself. The beak out comment up thread is just bloody stupid.

cookiemama14 Wed 06-Jul-16 09:08:59

sorry due in end of early December end of November on what she saying ss was involved due an ex and dv.not cos of her.

cookiemama14 Wed 06-Jul-16 09:10:30

Yes she is, this thread is not stupid if u don't care don't reply.angry

Arfarfanarf Wed 06-Jul-16 09:11:10

I think you should alert social services.
It sounds like she should be on their caseload.

It may be that they dont know she is pregnant. Perhaps she hasnt told the dr or seen a midwife or anything.

Clearly what you describe is someone who will need support and whose baby will need outside help.

londonrach Wed 06-Jul-16 09:11:20

If shes with a midwife any previous history will flag up so i bit ss are aware of this.

londonrach Wed 06-Jul-16 09:12:00

But might be worth a phone call to check

londonrach Wed 06-Jul-16 09:12:26

Bet not bit!!!!!

cookiemama14 Wed 06-Jul-16 09:12:45

Yes she , what does that mean break out??

Arfarfanarf Wed 06-Jul-16 09:12:47

Hey!! She was talking about the beak out comment made by another poster being stupid. Not your thread. No need for aggressive response and angry face.

maras2 Wed 06-Jul-16 09:14:43

ladystark was sticking up for you.

Cathaka15 Wed 06-Jul-16 09:16:22

Yes let them know anyway. You can make sure they know your concerns and make sure they are on top of it. SS can be a let down sometimes.

cookiemama14 Wed 06-Jul-16 09:16:31

She saying so she don't want any help, she use to slam doors on ss and not let them , I am convinced ss are not involved from what she saying.

Arfarfanarf Wed 06-Jul-16 09:16:56

Beak out means mind your own business and is terrible advice when considering a baby potentially at risk.

cookiemama14 Wed 06-Jul-16 09:17:18

Sorry I misread it, did not mean any harm.

PinkyPlumet Wed 06-Jul-16 09:17:30

Confusion hmm

CarrotVan Wed 06-Jul-16 09:18:19

Is she receiving antenatal care? If so then the midwives will probably have referred her to Social Services already. There are standard questions about Social Services involvement at Booking In and any concerns will be followed up. She might also be under specialist care due to the earlier still birth as well as the diabetes and autoimmune issues

If you think she might have lied about previous Social Services involvement and is a potential risk to her child then it's worth calling them with as much factual information as you have. Every report is logged and eventually builds a pattern that allows Social Services to assess and intervene if necessary.

insancerre Wed 06-Jul-16 09:18:45

Beak out means mind your own business
Hopefully the midwife has alerted s s because of her previous pregnancy
17 is plenty old enough to care for a baby

cookiemama14 Wed 06-Jul-16 09:19:22

Sorry , I did not mean any offence.blushsad

CarrotVan Wed 06-Jul-16 09:21:20

If she's receiving antenatal care and you know which hospital she's planning to give birth at then you could also contact the Supervisor of Midwives and let them know so they can talk to their community midwives and make sure they're looking out for any issues before and after the birth. They will also include any concerns in their referral to the health visitors and she might get early health visitor intervention to prepare for the birth.

Is the child's father involved? If so is he a positive or negative influence?

cookiemama14 Wed 06-Jul-16 09:22:19

Well I would, but this my godchild, and I speak to family and they say what I am telling u, so it not like someone. I don't know or don't understand, I been friends with her for years. Since 15 it's old.

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