Swearing in front of kids (on public transport)

[Kittencatkins123]

This morning I was talking to two friend/colleagues on the train about my gran who is in early stages of dementia

Emotional topic (tbf I am also quite loud) especially as I was just up staying with her at the weekend, and swore when trying to explain something she does on loop

Mum sitting with her two young kids at the table next to ours told me off for swearing saying 'they soak it up'

I felt very violently angry towards her for several minutes! (Didn't say anything)

Appreciate she may not have known what we were talking about though I am quite loud but made me wonder what your thoughts are on swearing in front of kids (obvs in an unconscious, not thinking way)?

Also I'm feeling sad about my Gran so could use a few cyber hugs if you have any

[mathsy]

If you swore once, then no big deal. I sometimes accidentally swear in front of my 3.5 year old. If you were repeatedly swearing then she has the right to say something.

[icelollycraving]

Sorry to hear about your gran. Truly.
I really dislike swearing in front of children. I may have said something too.

[MumOnTheRunCatchingUp]

You were loud. And swearing

And felt 'violently angry towards her'

You don't sound too nice. Sorry

[Purplemonkeydishwasherpimp]

Meh, swearing its just words.

Are we going to be banned swearing public transport soon.

[minipie]

TBH I don't really like it when someone swears loudly on public transport near me, never mind my DC.

But as a pp said, swearing once can slip out. Swearing several times would make me and cats bum at you.

[Waltermittythesequel]

How kind, mum.

OP her little darlings will hear swearing in public. It's inevitable. You weren't wrong to do it unconsciously. She wasn't wrong to ask you not to.

You have enough to worry about. Don't give it another moment's notice.

and hugs to you.

[Ilovewillow]

I'm not keen on sweating but I certainly wouldn't say anything to anyone about the odd swear word. Children will hear swearing and it's my job as a parent to deal with it not to censor those around me!

Hope all is well

[ArmySal]

I'd think you were ignorant swearing in front of children I'm afraid.

And violently angry? To a mother with children? Sorry about your Grandma, but you need to calm down a tad.

[Waltermittythesequel]

What does being a mother have to do with anything?

[ExcellentWorkThereMary]

Meh. You weren't swearing AT them. Wouldnt find it in me to get worke up about it. So sorry about your Gran though, been there too and it is devastating :(

[ArmySal]

Was that to me, Walter? Strike the mother out then, and replace it with 'someone with children with them'.

[BeckyMcDonald]

Can't stand swearing in front of kids. Mine are very young and don't know any swear words yet. I'd be pretty annoyed if they were introduced to their first swear words by you. She was right to ask you to stop. How was she to know you weren't going to do it again?

That said, just try and forget about it now. What's done is done. I'm really sorry about your gran.

[ThinkPinkStink]

There's swearing and swearing if I'm in public I tend to limit myself to the odd 'shit' or 'bloody' rather than full-on effing and blinding.

If I know/expect children to be in my vicinity I tone it down to nothing, or 'crap' and 'sodding' at the worst.

I am not a prude, I call a cunt a cunt... But the last thing I want to do is upset, scare or be a bad influence on children.

If a parent politely mentioned I'd sworn in front of their kid, I would not feel 'violently angry', I'd apologise.

[Kittencatkins123]

Yeah, I swore once.

I wasn't being mad loud! But I know I sometimes can be louder than I think, and an emotional topic - so mentioning in the interest of fairness.

I felt (ie in my head!) violently angry (turn of phrase!) - I didn't do or say anything! Actually I said sorry!

I was talking about something emotional/upsetting that is quite raw and was told off, so I'm not really surprised at my feelings.

I defend myself against allegations of not niceness!

Slight loudness/saying swear word - might be a tougher rap to beat.

Thanks for nice messages about gran.

Posting this might have been a bad idea!

[FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose]

What ArmySal said.

Why on earth did you feel violently angry towards her?

Not the end of the world if you swear by accident, but kids do soak it up. She's perfectly justified to be miffed. And maybe your conversation was too loud and she was already irritated.

I am sorry to hear about your nan though.

[Samcro]

yanbu
its public transport not a school bus

[VoldysGoneMouldy]

You swore within ear shot, not directly at her children. Think she was being very over protective to be honest. If you don't want you children to over hear bad language, never let them leave the house, or interact with the media, or read....

Swear words are just words.

[FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose]

Cross post!

[AppleSetsSail]

It's borrowing trouble to chide strangers for minor swearing on public transport, but if it were full-on I'd have done the same.

[Salmotrutta]

I have managed to not ever swear in front of kids in my 54 years of life.

Even when I'm pushed to the limit.

I do swear - just not in front of children.

I appreciate you are sad about your Gran OP but lots of people are dealing with all sorts of stuff day in and day out yet manage to curb swearing until kids are out of earshot.

I teach secondary and there are many occasions when I wish I could let out a swear word at a particularly obnoxious pupil - but I manage not to.

[Cabrinha]

Have a missed what you said?
I'd be unimpressed to here something like "fucking cunting dementia" on a bus... even without my child with me! And I'm a swearer among friends. But I control what I say, where.

If it was "bloody dementia" I wouldn't have noticed - though my 7yo might point it out!

I do think it's rude to swear in public, and especially in front of children. I might ask you not to. But I'd also tackle it with my child - she's well aware what swearing is and we'd just talk about it.

[angelcake20]

I am infuriated by drunk youngsters swearing on the train when I am with DCs. I'd be even more unimpressed with anybody doing so in other circumstances (though probably too much of a coward to say anything). Tbf I hate swearing full stop and never do so myself.

[milpool]

Salmotrutta well done you, have a medal

The thing is... If you're not around kids very often, if they don't feature in your life that much, chances are you might just not consider that they're there if you happen to swear. My friend is a primary teacher now but years back used to swear like a sailor whether kids were around or not. She was just oblivious to them.

OP, I think it really depends on the situation; if someone was swearing loudly and repeatedly in front of kids then it's different to a one off slip of the tongue. Likewise it's different saying something in an aggressive sweary way than it just being part of a normal sentence.

Try not to dwell on it too much. And sorry to hear about your gran

[Kittencatkins123]

No nothing like 'fucking dementia' God! I was explaining about one of her loop things being continually losing her purse and how she goes straight to panic mode/worst case scenario - whereas you or I would be like 'is it here, is it there, where is it, then eventually oh swearword I think I've lost it'

So would have either been 'shit' or 'fuck'

If I'm around friends/families kids I (at least try) to go into non-swear mode because I'm conscious they are there.

I just wasn't really conscious of them, as quite early and lots going on, and talking about something emotional so... just sort of in the moment.

Anyway.

I can't be fucked arguing about it

Jokes! No more flaming tonight!

Let's all be nice and I will try to watch my language