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AIBU with neighbour?

(18 Posts)
Greenyogagirl Tue 05-Jul-16 18:36:55

Ok so I'm a single mum to a 6yo who is severely autistic, has various other health problems and has only been in school 3 hours a day for the last year. I moved here a year ago and in that time I've decorated, made a sensory room and although I don't work I am constantly at meetings/cooking/cleaning/teaching my son etc etc you know, mum stuff.

Whenever I go into the garden jungle my neighbour (who btw plays loud music all night most nights and has thrown glass bottles and bbq food over the fence into my garden) comments 'oh I've never seen the garden this bad. Can't anyone help you? Can't you just buy a strimmer? My grass is over 3 inches so needs mowing, wow you're a very relaxed parent aren't you. And then tells my son not to throw that/pull that/do that. He then likes to tell me his house is spotless and he does everything himself as he's single at the moment. Then, he'll start saying 'poor you, single mum, must be hard. What's your favourite drink, do you get time for yourself, I'm lonely in the evening what do you do in the evening'

I just want him to leave me alone!!!! I'm too quiet and scared of confrontation though and I end up laughing it off and saying id rather play with my son than worry about the garden and it'll get done eventually. It's really getting me down to the point where I never want to go out there sad

JackieAndHyde4eva Tue 05-Jul-16 18:39:01

Next time say "why dont you just shut up?" And ignore any further comments from him. You dont have to be nice to him. He doesnt have to like you or how you live. Just ignore him. And tell DS to ignore him.

Greenyogagirl Tue 05-Jul-16 18:39:12

Not sure where the aibu is in that so 'aibu to think my neighbour is a d!ck' lol

whois Tue 05-Jul-16 18:39:50

He sounds like a dick.

Can you buy some trellice to attach to the top of the fence so he can't talk to you?

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Tue 05-Jul-16 18:40:17

It sounds like he is trying to ask you out in a really rubbish way

MyKingdomForBrie Tue 05-Jul-16 18:40:23

Tell him he's welcome to come and mow it!

Greenyogagirl Tue 05-Jul-16 18:40:30

Thanks, I think because of him having thrown stuff into my garden I worry he'll retaliate? I should really just say that I suppose, I'm a scaredy cat confused

Greenyogagirl Tue 05-Jul-16 18:43:56

Trellis is a good idea! Thank you!

Really- I get that feeling sometimes and I did say I am so happy being single and wouldn't want to meet anyone until my son had left home so hopefully if that's the case he'll back off asking me what my favourite wine is!

Buggers Tue 05-Jul-16 18:44:32

I don't think his trying to be nasty, I think he thinks your struggling and is a bit lonely himself so is trying in a rubbish way to hint that he could help you. Or he fancies you and is trying to see if your interested.

Buggers Tue 05-Jul-16 18:45:23

Regarding the throwing stuff in your garden, are you sure it's him doing it and not rude guests his had over? That is pretty awful and I'd mention it to him.

Greenyogagirl Tue 05-Jul-16 18:47:50

It could be guests I suppose, when I moved in he had a girlfriend live with him and they had lots of parties and bbqs, they split up and I don't think it's happened since. I'd prefer to think of him as socially awkward rather than unkind!

Birdsgottafly Tue 05-Jul-16 19:23:17

He's letting you know that he's single and up for being invited in, to "keep you company".

Just make it clear that your not interested, in a nice way.

mrsfuzzy Tue 05-Jul-16 19:28:34

you've got so much on your plate, you don't need more hassle, but as others say try not to get pulled in, he sounds a bit socially awkward, if it became a problem though perhaps you could enlist help to speak to him ?

VeryBitchyRestingFace Tue 05-Jul-16 19:57:20

You poor sod, I think he fancies you. sad

JackieAndHyde4eva Tue 05-Jul-16 20:02:36

Yeah could be he is angling for an invitation to come and cut your grass. Dont. He has issues with boundaries.

Greenyogagirl Tue 05-Jul-16 21:55:43

Well I feel he judges me on my parenting and gardening so if he wants an invitation he can bugger right off! Thanks all X

blankmind Tue 05-Jul-16 22:38:14

Tell him he's welcome to come and mow it!

Please don't do this, you'll never get rid of him. Reinforce your boundaries literally with the trellis and figuratively at every opportunity.

Shizzlestix Tue 05-Jul-16 23:36:35

6ft fence will solve most issues, trellis on top and a nice invasive plant like Russian vine or Elizabeth Montana clematis. smile

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