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Finally stuck up for myself but now feel weird

(109 Posts)
PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:10:09

For years I've just kept my mouth shut around naricisstic dsis as the fallout is never worth it

Today I bit back. Maybe I shouldn't have but she really annoyed me. The conversation somehow got to dh having a gun. Now I'll be honest it's not something I really truly agree with but it's a hobby he's done it all properly (paperwork and locked away etc etc) most of the time he just goes with his family and it's target practice type stuff, occasionally shooting birds.

Dsis is vegetarian and has been really into animal welfare the last couple of years . She declared that my dh is this and that and having a gun is a "dickish" thing. Usually I'd say nothing but I said "actually it's his hobby whether you agree or not so do not call him that"

She lost her temper and was very passive aggressive. I reiterated why I was annoyed and she persisted so I reminded her what she did, loudly enough that the neighbours could hear (in garden) a few years ago after a fox killed her beloved pet to get the message home that she was being hypocritical

She stormed out. Now I just feel a bit rubbish as usually if she is challenged there are repercussions . I feel good I didnt just take it and act like a doormat but now I'm not sure about having said what i did ?

ImperialBlether Tue 05-Jul-16 14:11:40

Uh oh. What did she do to the fox?

PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:14:16

Nothing to the particular fox but for a few months she would buy cheap paracetamol and sausages and drop them round the park in the hopes of avenging her pets death

PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:14:51

I just reminded her loudly of it in the garden

SnotGoblin Tue 05-Jul-16 14:14:57

Not so the neighbours could hear -gasp- confused

monkeywithacowface Tue 05-Jul-16 14:15:17

Not helpful but now I have "what did the fox say" playing in my head!

I think standing up for yourself is fine, depends on what she actually did to the fox as to whether you were making a fair point. I would probably have told her she should address her concerns to your dh directly if she's that bothered by it

PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:16:16

Yes so they could hear as she is friendly with them and they have a dog and because I'm sick of her smug self righteous act

Shizzlestix Tue 05-Jul-16 14:17:28

Holy fuck, she dropped the paracetamol round random parks? Where dogs could eat it and be killed? What a twat. sad There are sometimes Facebook warnings about idiots dropping sausages with nails/rat poison in. A friend's cocker almost died after eating a baited hotdog. sad

PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:18:04

I did say to her that it's dh hobby and although it's not my sort of thing (although I'm not as strongly against it s she is) she needs to accept people have different hobbies etc and sometimes it's just a case of dropping the constantly judgemental critical attitude towards others and agreeing to disagree

CharminglyGawky Tue 05-Jul-16 14:18:37

Oh god I'd have reported her to the police for that, she probably killed loads of things, both wild like foxes, birds and mice but also dogs and cats.

You often hear of poisoned meat or dog treats left in dog walking areas and I often wonder what sort of sick person would do that. Your sister apparently. sad

PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:19:14

I know and I was so pissed off with her I just said it as she was coming across all animal welfare warrior

AcrossthePond55 Tue 05-Jul-16 14:20:02

So, your sister dropped basically poisoned sausages in a park where dogs (as well as foxes) could accidentally eat them and either die or be painfully ill. Well, she's just lovely, isn't she?

Personally, I'd tell her to FOTTFSOF etc etc. Why do you even have her in your life? It doesn't sound to me as if she adds anything positive to it. Have you considered going NC with her?

PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:20:10

It was years and years ago (15 years approx) so probably something I should have left in the past but it seemed relevant

CharminglyGawky Tue 05-Jul-16 14:20:22

But did nobody report her? I'd report my own mum for that.

LordyMe Tue 05-Jul-16 14:21:10

Sounds a bit pointless arguing with her. I wouldn't bother. She was trying to wind you up, you got wound up, she was petty, you were petty and the poor neighbours had to put up with it, it's all very, very pointless.

This type of thing makes for good TV soap operas but it's a bit tedious in real life.

Let your DH deal with his sister and try not to let her bother you by keeping away from her.

AprilSkies44 Tue 05-Jul-16 14:21:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:22:01

I have a feeling dm was aware and did something as after a few months it stopped abruptly and then dm told me what she has been doing

PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:25:18

I'm blaming pmt as I can usually ignore her successfully

Dutchcourage Tue 05-Jul-16 14:25:42

shock that is fucking twisted regarding the poisoned sausages. She was just looking to cause damage to any living creature. I didn't even think people actually did that!


callherwillow Tue 05-Jul-16 14:27:09

Yeah, while her BIL shoots birds.

Sounds like a delightful family. So lovely.

mummymalta Tue 05-Jul-16 14:29:03

Nothing to the particular fox but for a few months she would buy cheap paracetamol and sausages and drop them round the park in the hopes of avenging her pets death

Classic. Should be the MN slogan.

Dutchcourage Tue 05-Jul-16 14:32:54

One thing going about shooting game (which I don't agree with) but it's another thing going about for months poisoning good for animals to die in some twisted revenge bid - against a fucking wild animal.

Thats really fucked up. Being hypocritical is the least of her problems. Sounds like she has a psychopathic disorder.

BabyGanoush Tue 05-Jul-16 14:36:20

You are both weirdo's grin

I am sure you are normal really, but this all sounds bonkers

PanickingwithacapitalP Tue 05-Jul-16 14:38:23

Like I said I don't particularly agree/disagree with what dh does. But I accept its legal and a hobby that he chooses to have
Dsis on the other hand is vocal about her disgust and what she thinks about dh and that makes her a hypocrite

fattyfattytoadgirl Tue 05-Jul-16 14:39:02

I don't think you were being U.

It's no wonder you lost it a bit after suffering this nonsense for so long. About time she realised you don't have to take it anymore. You feel bad because you are a decent person with a conscience. She isn't. Be careful if she offers you food as a peace-offering (I am only half-joking!!)

She sounds like a loon and sadistic towards animals to boot.

How much time do you realistically have to spend with her? Get it down to the absolute minimum. I am sure you have better things to do with your time.

Stop rewarding her twisted personality with your time and consideration.

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