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Facebook Shaming (sorry!)

(25 Posts)
Aworldofmyown Mon 04-Jul-16 11:40:48

This isn't meant to be a post about how awful Facebook is in general - I like it for the most part and ignore most of the crap!!

However this has bothered me, sorry for the long post.

Last week my local BBC ran a pretty minor news story, Daily Mail sad face style. It ran on the local website and on the radio. A phone in comment was held, most people thought the woman was being pretty daft - she was ill advised in her moaning, possibly insensitive.

Today a few friends have shared a post by the family who have been left upset by this woman moaning. I should add that this family are in no way identifiable by the woman's complaint and they are not the ones the woman is upset with, their upset is because of an emotional situation.

In the post the 'moaning woman' is herself pictured, and named, she has a photograph of her property and the road she lives in next to that and her profession which makes it incredibly easy to pinpoint her place of work. Personal things are said about her and accusations made that have nothing to do with her original BBC story.

Cue lots of shares, loads of comments agreeing what an awful person this woman is, how many posters would have punched/slapped her. People will refuse her if they come across her through her work etc, etc its pretty horrible.

AIBU to think this is pretty awful and surprised at Facebook for not removing it (I reported the post)

HopeArden Mon 04-Jul-16 11:44:46

Hard to say without knowing the whole story.

DeathStare Mon 04-Jul-16 11:45:24

Facebook don't remove anything unless it's a photo of someone breastfeeding. I once reported a photo of a sexual assault in progress posted by the perpetrator with the victim clearly identifiable. Facebook didn't see the problem with it.

MollyTwo Mon 04-Jul-16 11:45:57

She opened herself up to this by going to the DM in the first place.

ShanghaiDiva Mon 04-Jul-16 11:47:33

She didn't go to the Daily Fail - it was a local bbc story.

MollyTwo Mon 04-Jul-16 11:48:47

Even so how did it get reported in the first place?

BillSykesDog Mon 04-Jul-16 11:52:47

Is it to do with the referendum?

ShanghaiDiva Mon 04-Jul-16 11:53:23

Not really the point is it?
Comments detailing that you would punch or slap someone are pretty vile and op says that accusations have been made that have nothing to do with the original story.

Aworldofmyown Mon 04-Jul-16 12:05:16

No not the referendum!

I was purposely trying not to identify the story, it is a relatively mundane local news story. Although I suppose as its been on the news it is a bit daft not to - I will try to find a link.

I can understand that it is an emotional time for the person who is sharing her name and whereabouts around. Thats why Facebook in my opinion have a responsibility here to realise its inappropriate and not done rationally.

and drawing out scary nut jobs who will punch anyone in the face for smiling the wrong way

rosiecam Mon 04-Jul-16 12:06:38

I think it's awful too, but I don't see why it is your problem?

Stillunexpected Mon 04-Jul-16 12:10:22

I am a bit confused. In the FB post from the upset family, who has posted pictures of the woman, her house and her road? Presumably that was not part of the original BBC story so who has taken those photos? The family, random busybodies, others?

rosiecam Mon 04-Jul-16 12:14:19

YANBU to disagree with Facebook's policies, who doesn't? But if you really care about this, YABU to rant about it here instead of doing something supportive for the woman. Or at least unfriend the people who are posting this stuff.

Aworldofmyown Mon 04-Jul-16 12:17:10

Well I'm witnessing someone being vilified and attacked and tbh it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, hence reporting it. No not my problem, but I'm a bit concerned it could escalate into something horrid.

The upset family has posted a screen grab from the original article, so easily found. Plus her name, also easily found due to the news article and they appear to have take a picture of her house. In the post they spell out an identifiable career and place of work.

Aworldofmyown Mon 04-Jul-16 12:23:04

rosiecam I have unfriended the person I have reported it to Facebook and as they don't think its an issue I have forwarded it to a friend of mine in the local police.

I would like to make it clear, I think the family just have not thought it through in their upset (a bit like the daft original story woman) what bothers me is the nasty support being posted.

The story has gone form the news site, I can't find it at all so suspect it has been removed.

BillSykesDog Mon 04-Jul-16 12:23:41

If they're posting things like addresses and places of work report it as a harassing post. The woman concerned should be reporting it to the police.

redpinkblue Mon 04-Jul-16 12:25:31

Not identifiable to you But perhaps they wanted to share their side of the story?

If one side goes public why shouldn't the other?

redpinkblue Mon 04-Jul-16 12:26:34

I should add that I don't condone violence!

ThePigeon314 Mon 04-Jul-16 12:26:35

That kind of thing makes me very uncomfortable too.

I have left all of my local facebook fora as they started out well and ended up being a hub for vigilantes and gossips.

Keepitreal28 Mon 04-Jul-16 12:31:17

"That kind of thing makes me very uncomfortable too.

I have left all of my local facebook fora as they started out well and ended up being a hub for vigilantes and gossips."

Tell me about it, all a load of "I had my kids in the car and this car overtook me!!!" Complete with picture of said car and a load of "OMG Hun, w8 til u gt hold of hym"


AnchorDownDeepBreath Mon 04-Jul-16 12:32:02

It really depends on what the story was and what the accusations were.

It doesn't sound, on the face of it, that anyone has done anything wrong. But it's very dependant. Was she already identifiable from the original story? Did she choose to give that story?

AnchorDownDeepBreath Mon 04-Jul-16 12:32:57

Speaking legally, because it's difficult to make a moral judgement on whether she's been shamed without seeing it. It does sound like a bit of a car crash...

Aworldofmyown Mon 04-Jul-16 12:46:48

She was identifiable and gave the story herself.So to some extent she is a victim of her own stupidity. Her annoyance is with the local council, more of a planning issue. Most people who commented on the original story just handed her a grip.

Its the offer of a slap in the face and how it could continue if the wrong person sees it.

She is definitely going to get a crash course on thinking before you speak and social media.

BillSykesDog Mon 04-Jul-16 12:47:36

I don't think that this is the 'other' side though. She says the family are completely unconnected.

I'm guessing it's something like someone saying autism is an excuse for bad behaviour and then a family with an autistic child posting the shaming post? Not that specifically, but that sort of link.

It really would help if you could give us a vague hint of the subject matter OP.

Heavens2Betsy Mon 04-Jul-16 12:52:34

I have seen something similar.
Woman in local paper as her son has been attacked in a local park.
Sad face for optimum sympathy.
Read the comments and you will see that her son is a drug dealer and she is one too and has been in jail herself - cue lots of abuse from victims of her drug dealer son and his lifestyle.
DM pick up on it. She complains that her family are being victimised and blocks everyone!
Attention seeking!!

TheNaze73 Mon 04-Jul-16 12:53:12

YANBU, I know it's only FB however, I don't think you should repost or say anything you wouldn't say to someone face to face. Keyboard warriors aren't nice are they?

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