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To have lied to MIL

(43 Posts)
mathsenglishscience Sun 03-Jul-16 10:29:05

Long story short, we were at a family gathering. MIL got a bit drunk, and then she was generally being nasty. She voted leave, and she was taking the piss out of remain voters. Calling us the n word and stuff. MIL then asked what I voted (remain) and I told her I voted leave so as not to make the situation worse (MIL would have then directed the abuse towards me) DH thinks I shouldnt lie to his mum. AIBU?

RubbleBubble00 Sun 03-Jul-16 10:30:31

She was drunk. You defused situation with a white lie. I don't see the problem. She shouldn't be asking how u vote

lapetitesiren Sun 03-Jul-16 10:31:21

Nothing wrong with humouring a mad dog. Diffusing a situation sounds like a very good idea.

TheresAlwaysTimeForTea Sun 03-Jul-16 10:32:34

I'm sure you wouldn't lie to his mum on a regular basis but I think a little lie to avoid a drunken argument is fine. Realistically, MIL was probably spoiling for a fight so if you had been honest and it had escalated, surely your DH wouldn't have like that either? Ah mummies boys - my DH is the same with my dear MIL!

GoblinLittleOwl Sun 03-Jul-16 10:34:19

If you are genuinely concerned, tell her your views when she has sobered up, and also your opinion of middle-aged women getting drunk and aggressive in public. But best really, to let it go.

dowhatnow Sun 03-Jul-16 10:35:24

Well then get him to tell her the truth and why you lied, when she is sober. Make her realise what a cow she is when drunk.

tattychicken Sun 03-Jul-16 10:36:44

What's the n word?!

Pardonwhat Sun 03-Jul-16 10:37:57

She's really making a good case for leave voters isn't she hmm
You did nothing wrong but personally I'd have told her the truth and to behave.
What's the N word?

MadisonMontgomery Sun 03-Jul-16 10:38:22

I've always been of the opinion that lying to drunk people doesn't count.

CathemeralChild Sun 03-Jul-16 10:39:38

Yes, I can't work that one out either, tattychicken, unless it's the one from rap songs?

happypoobum Sun 03-Jul-16 10:39:47

She was calling you the N word? I would have packed up my shit and left and never returned or spoken to her again

Do you have DC and are they black/mixed race?

mathsenglishscience Sun 03-Jul-16 10:40:18

The n word is nigga (racist and horrible which is why I didnt want to say it)

Pardonwhat Sun 03-Jul-16 10:42:02

Oh wow! She sounds a fucking delight. Are you black? Not that it really matters either way but just baffling that she'd use that word.
I think YABU ever speaking to the potty mouthed bully again.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 03-Jul-16 10:42:06

I'd have told the truth on that one ajd taken the hit but I can see why you lied.

I don't like lying to people and avoid it 99.9 percent of the time. my MIL is the one I lie too grin

if you know why you would understand.

but no ywnbu. I can't be arsed with drunken idiots either

mathsenglishscience Sun 03-Jul-16 10:45:36

Yeah she really is nice isnt shehmm
Im going out with family for the day and DH is going to see MIL this afternoon (without me thank god) so I'll post later and say how it goes.

BertrandRussell Sun 03-Jul-16 10:48:24

She called you a nigger and you're worried about lying to her about your vote???

Borntobeamum Sun 03-Jul-16 10:51:00

She sounds absolutely charming

MatildaTheCat Sun 03-Jul-16 10:52:51

Why is your dh going to see her this afternoon unless it's to tell her what's what? He should be supporting you and saying that nobody speaks to my wife like that.

She should be made to apologise and keep a civil tongue or not see either of you.

Can't believe you've posted about telling Brexit fibs. confused

DoreenLethal Sun 03-Jul-16 10:53:19

What's the n word?!

Come on now. It is one thing being goady but unless you live in an actual bubble, surely you know what the n word is? This pretend stupidity is just not an attractive trait.

MilesHuntsWig Sun 03-Jul-16 10:56:00

Not at all, she sounds vile and you can't reason with crazy/drunk... She sounds both tbh.

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Jul-16 10:56:32

She called you a nigger and you're worried about lying to her about your vote???

This ^^ confused

spanky2 Sun 03-Jul-16 10:58:59

Your dh should turn his attention to his mum who obviously shouldn't drink because she gets nasty. No one should have to put up with a nasty racist drunk. The n word is totally unacceptable.

SanityClause Sun 03-Jul-16 11:03:27

Everyone knows what the n-word is so don't be so bloody disingenuous.

(To the posters who asked, not the OP!)

BolshierAryaStark Sun 03-Jul-16 11:04:28

Wow, I think your white lie should be the least of your DH's concerns really. Did he not have any views on her vile behaviour & vocabulary?

Pardonwhat Sun 03-Jul-16 11:05:20

DoreenLethal - I also asked what the N word was because I didn't for a second imagine it would be the racist one and I couldn't think what insult started with the letter N. Being a condescending cow isn't an attractive trait either.

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