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To expect my ex to pay half?

(15 Posts)
Rarity75 Sat 02-Jul-16 22:54:54

Bit of background, we split 3 years ago. He left behind a joint mortgage, joint loan and a nursery age DD.

We did agree maintenance for DD but he refused to pay towards the joint debt. I was left in a very difficult position with nursery fees on top. Basically I couldn't sustain the payments.

DD is now in school but the accumulation of credit to cover monthly payments meant I stopped paying the loan in October. I tried to negotiate reduced amounts but the company weren't interested.

Contacted ex (no idea of address he would never give it to me). Asking for increase in maintenance as I knew he had been promoted. There has been no increase in 3 yrs. I got told to "tighten my belt".

Basically the debt has been sold and the company have tracked him down. He rang very shocked and we met to discuss. He has recently inherited a lot of money. I thought we agreed he would pay his half (of the original loan, as I had already paid half before I stopped payments). He rang today to say he would pay half of the remainder I.e a quarter of the original debt.

AIBU to expect him to pay the full half??

Apologies ft the length of this thread!

hazeimcgee Sat 02-Jul-16 22:59:33

YANBU. He owes half of the original debt. I'd tell him you've spoken to the company about that half being left in his name as you've already paid half of your half

memyselfandaye Sat 02-Jul-16 22:59:45

Is he paying what the csa/cms would expect him to?

You aren't unreasonable at all, aren't you glad you aren't with the prick anymore?

ITCouldBeWorse Sat 02-Jul-16 23:00:52

of course not. His half should be 50%, not the absolute minimum he can get away with! Git!

Rarity75 Sat 02-Jul-16 23:17:33

I don't know what his new salary is and I know he works a lot of overtime. The original figure was based on the csa online calculator.

He complains he pays more than other blokes in work but they have shared access (we don't have any overnight access - valid reasons).

He moans he is stuck in a studio flat and I have the house. But he has designer stuff and a lifestyle I couldn't afford.

Yes I am very happy we are no longer together!

RubbleBubble00 Sat 02-Jul-16 23:21:47

go and get legal advice ASAP. If he's still on the mortgage then he's has rights to the house and if he won't pay could they come after your house

Rarity75 Sat 02-Jul-16 23:23:46

They can try but there's not enough equity in it to clear the debt. (She says fingers crossed)

limon Sat 02-Jul-16 23:54:30


Rarity75 Sun 03-Jul-16 13:24:00

Thanks guys. Have cancelled our meeting today to discuss. Have woken up feeling lousy (sore throat and achy). Need to be 100% to deal with his crap. Not looking forward to it at all. But if he wants to secure DD's future he has to own up to and pay his portion in full. Not still leave me in debt. The only good thing about the 9 years we were together is my gorgeous daughter.

Rarity75 Tue 05-Jul-16 22:04:19

We met today. He would he says 'prefer to pay half' of the remainder.
I said I have paid half already. This is a joint debt from a lifestyle we chose to live as a couple. Not my fault he is a total twunt and the relationship ended. Why should I pay 75% that I haven't got?

He wants proof of how much I have paid already. The he will consult his lawyer. Started going on about how he could have put in a claim for a share of my house. Considering he only ever gave me cash in hand 'rent' I'd love to see how he can prove he contributed.

Just venting cos I'm mad! angry

Bloody bloody selfish entitled bastard

Rarity75 Tue 05-Jul-16 22:05:20

Plus we weren't married and I'm the home owner so hard cheese on the house claim.

FreeFromHarm Tue 05-Jul-16 22:12:46

He has no,claim to the house, he left on his own volition, go to,a solicitor and get it done properly. He has no evidence of payment he is screwed , what a nonce

MsVestibule Tue 05-Jul-16 22:13:18

In your OP, you say you had a joint mortgage, but in a subsequent post, that he paid you 'cash in hand rent'. You also say that you are the home owner, do how did you have a joint mortgage?

WRT the joint loan, morally you are right, but I don't know if you are legally 😕.

FreeFromHarm Tue 05-Jul-16 22:15:22

Yes , missed that bit vestibule, would get legal advice .

Rarity75 Tue 05-Jul-16 22:50:52

I am on the deeds, he was on the mortgage but never paid via his bank. He gave me cash in hand.
I am a wally blush

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