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to be annoyed at constant questions from MIL?

(91 Posts)
hormental Sat 02-Jul-16 09:47:05

I probably am but it winds me up. She needs to know every tiny detail which I assume is so she can talk about it to others. So, for example, we took DD out for the day. She wants to know where we went, who drove, how long it took to get there, what we had for lunch and what we did when we got there.

TheNewSchmoo Sat 02-Jul-16 09:49:47

Or she's interested in her granddaughter as she loves her and stuff

chickenowner Sat 02-Jul-16 09:51:15

This sounds like my Dad. I managed to get him to stop (or at least reduce it) be pointing out my age (37 at the time) and asking him if his parents knew where he was and what he was doing all the time when he was 37.

He said no, they hadn't. It obviously made him think!

KateLivesInEngland Sat 02-Jul-16 09:52:11

No that's an extraordinary amount of useless information. Next time she asks just say "Why does it matter?" And see what she says.

BertrandRussell Sat 02-Jul-16 09:56:15

"She needs to know every tiny detail which I assume is so she can talk about it to others."

Yep. Course it is. hmm

Or it could be that she is interested in a much loved grand daughter?

Or she can't think of anything else to say?

Ineedmorelemonpledge Sat 02-Jul-16 09:56:38

Perhaps try the answering method my DS (11) has started employing...

What did you do at school?

Stuff

What did you eat for lunch?

Things

What homework do you have?

Stuff

What do you need for tomorrow?

Things

usual Sat 02-Jul-16 09:57:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hormental Sat 02-Jul-16 09:59:26

The reason I think she's gathering information to pass on is because she gives lots of detail when telling a story (detail which is surplus to requirement).
I am grumpy today however so I'm prepared to be told I'm BU.

glueandstick Sat 02-Jul-16 10:03:17

I feel your pain. My mother is a bit like this. When telling a story 20 mins later you'll know what they had for dinner, what the traffic was like last Thursday, what the second cousin twice removed did on holiday, their shoe size but not the actual story you started with.

Becky546 Sat 02-Jul-16 10:03:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaContessaDiPlump Sat 02-Jul-16 10:03:51

I'd make shit up. Demanding such a level of detail is deeply tedious.

If you feel especially strongly about it then perhaps you could start preparing an itinerary of places attended over the past week and key details of each visit. Hand her the document on a weekly basis and see what happens.

^^this is a pretty mean thing to do and I probably wouldn't do it in RL!

LaContessaDiPlump Sat 02-Jul-16 10:05:09

And to those questioning why it matters, it matters because rehashing last week's lunches is INCREDIBLY tedious and implies the questioner has the brains/inquisitive mind of a sea slug.

MadHattersWineParty Sat 02-Jul-16 10:08:01

Haha, you should me meet my Nan. Not only does she do that but she writes it all down in a little book and if it's a date it'll go in the diary. You cannot argue with the diary. Ever. This is a conversation we had last week

Me: we're going on holiday on the 27th August, so that'll be nice.
Nan: No you're not, you're going on the 28th, I wrote it in my diary.
Me: well we were talking about going on the 28th but we booked the 27th as it was a more convenient flight time.
Nan No, look, it's here, the 28th, I wrote it down as soon as you told me.

God love her, she likes to tell people in the hairdressers insignificant details about her grandchildren's lives. I think it's nice. I just don't argue with the diary grin

iammamam Sat 02-Jul-16 10:12:15

ineedmorelemonpledge

My 14 year old is the same!

What did you do today?
Stuff
Who did you see?
People
What did you eat?
Food.

Great hmm

spankhurst Sat 02-Jul-16 10:17:04

My NINE year old does the things/stuff/food/people response! God help me in a few years.

GoldenWondering Sat 02-Jul-16 10:19:47

My mum's neighbour's daughter's ex-husband has bought a cream sofa.

"Have you ever heard the like? He has children? What an idiot he must be? I'm not suprised she divorced him. Of course there's nobody else involved. He has a new partner now. She is in banking too but her job's a bit iffy at the moment. Her parents really enjoyed their trip to Madeira. They went half-board and travelled about by bus. It's not that they can't afford to hire a car, it's just that Bernard isn't very confident about driving abroad since he had his bunions done."

This is the sort of shit I have to listen to as a result of all these fucking questions. Endless fucking detail about relatives of people I have never met and am never going to meet. And their soft furnishings. FFS.

YANBU

NataliaOsipova Sat 02-Jul-16 10:21:50

I feel your pain. My mother is a bit like this. When telling a story 20 mins later you'll know what they had for dinner, what the traffic was like last Thursday, what the second cousin twice removed did on holiday, their shoe size but not the actual story you started with.

The ladies in my family do this! Drives me insane! I hope hundreds of random people don't know as much minutiae about me as I know about them (suspect they may do, sadly.....)

NataliaOsipova Sat 02-Jul-16 10:29:00

The other thing it can be is older people who don't get out much and have a very narrow world. Therefore their DGC are the centre of interest...and, often, of conversation. My MIL's sister is like this. Lovely lady, but obsessed with her grandson. Conversation will therefore often go like this:

Someone: Could you pass the carrots please, Mary?
Mary: Oooh carrots. Now little Peter just loves carrots. Eat them for breakfast if he had the chance. Loved them as a baby, he did. All his bibs ended up orange. I had him for lunch the other day and offered him peas, sweetcorn - but no, all he'd have was carrots. "You make the best carrots Gran" he said. I cut them into rounds, you see and he likes that. I think his mum buys them ready cut and they're in sticks. He likes the rounds better. Oh - these carrots are in sticks. Peter's be telling you off if he were here (chuckle)

....everyone else has slumped over their lunch in terminal boredom by now....

Reindeerlily Sat 02-Jul-16 10:29:13

My mil asks me how I make food. For example I did salmon in a marinade and she wanted to know what I used. She then asked me the next three times I went there. Then she wants to know how I cook my chicken.
Every time I go there she questions me about food and how I cook stuff. I indulge her.
I do tell the odd white lie sometimes just for badness. Told her I grind bones to make my gravy!!

Reindeerlily Sat 02-Jul-16 10:32:52

Natalia my dad does this!! Tells me boring nothing information about his wife's daughters and their kids.

"Joseph learned about Jerusalem in school today"
"Mary had a fab lolly ice after her tea"
(Not real names!)
I truly don't care. I switch off and sometimes I just have to leave!!

abbieanders Sat 02-Jul-16 10:34:29

So inoffensive trivia is off the table.

What scintillating conversation is on offer otherwise?

LaContessaDiPlump Sat 02-Jul-16 10:35:29

Sometimes it can be more harmful. When my mother was undergoing treatment for breast cancer my grandfather told everyone he knew; when she politely asked him not to he said 'Well they'll find out eventually'. She didn't know any of these people so was a bit confused as to how they'd ever know..... from her funeral notice as it turned out sad

He could have told people, just preferably not all and sundry!

MrsDeVere Sat 02-Jul-16 10:38:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Penfold007 Sat 02-Jul-16 10:39:12

DM and MIL are both like this, I am seriously hoping I can avoid this behaviour in years to come.

Notagainmun Sat 02-Jul-16 10:39:40

Yes it is irritating but maybe she is trying to just keep conversation going. Perhaps she has little going on in her life other than her son's family. Suck it up - 'she cares

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