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To think some people feel awkward around me?

(73 Posts)
MumQuack Fri 01-Jul-16 20:44:22

As well as being a mum, I'm a clinical psychologist working with people with mental health problems. When I'm in social situations I get the feeling some people feel awkward around me, as if I'm analysing them, or reading their mind. When I tell people what i do they often say 'oooo I hope you're not reading my mind!' I hate it when people say it because it makes the interaction awkward from the outset......all I want is for people to feel normal around me, that I'm normal and not that I'm analysing them! I honestly feel that my job has stopped some people feeling they can get close to me. Maybe I should just play my work down or leave out the word psychologist!! Please be honest, would you feel awkward around me if you just met me and found out my job?....

Yoyoyopo Fri 01-Jul-16 20:45:27

What do you think? smile

Yoyoyopo Fri 01-Jul-16 20:46:25

Oops sorry just joking

It wouldn't bother me but I'd be curious

iklboo Fri 01-Jul-16 20:49:54

I'd actually be really interested, ask a few questions & then get the round in grin.

AnnaMarlowe Fri 01-Jul-16 20:50:47

Not as long as you behaved yourself. I know two psychologists. One is perfectly normal. The other has an annoying tendency to openly be analysing her friends (lots of "why do you say that?", "how did that make you feel?", questions about your relationship with your parents etc.)

If you behave normally so will everyone else. 😄

Petal40 Fri 01-Jul-16 20:52:51

I'd be constantly picking yr brains...firstly I would love to have yr job...secondly I've a child with autism so you would be a mine of information to me...maybe you are hanging around the wrong people🤓

MunchMunch Fri 01-Jul-16 20:55:44

I'm sure you are a lovely person but if you were someone I'd just met, then yes, I'd think you were analysing me even though I'm sure you'd really prefer to leave work at work.

MumQuack Fri 01-Jul-16 20:58:40

Good point Anna....I feel like I'm always on a mission to be as normal as possible!
Thanks Petal....although some people seem uncomfortable, others have been really open about stuff they're going through, which is lovely that they feel they can do that

redpinkblue Fri 01-Jul-16 21:00:44


How many kids do you have?
What do you like to do at the weekends?
How old is/are children?
What's your favourite food?
What's your best/worst quality?

My point is that you're way more than a psychologist. Yeah it's incredibly interesting but in all honesty, I can imagine it would be annoying to think that people have a preconceived notion about you!

claraschu Fri 01-Jul-16 21:01:45

My father was a psychologist, and I could talk to him about anything. I would be very interested to get to know you, if I met you somewhere, and would certainly not feel awkward.

anyname123 Fri 01-Jul-16 21:05:54

I'm a mental health nurse and I get the same. Or people asking me to "section" their partner, etc etc. Gets boring very quickly

99GBPChargeToUseMyPostsJournos Fri 01-Jul-16 21:10:31

If anyone says 'I hope you're not reading my mind', I'd just say (jokingly) 'I'm a psychologist, not a psychic' - make it light and they'll move on.

acasualobserver Fri 01-Jul-16 21:17:43

It wouldn't bother me at all - like a pp I'd enjoy chatting to you about your job. I actually do know a psychiatrist and once asked whether she analysed people 'off duty'. She just looked at me with complete incredulity and said,"Er ... no."

NorbertDentressangle Fri 01-Jul-16 21:21:30

If you were a friend it wouldn't bother me.

If I'd just met you and you started asking weird questions about my childhood/relationships etc then, yes, I might feel a bit awkward ..... but then again I'd feel odd if anyone I'd only just met asked weird questions whether they're a chef, a bricklayer, a banker or a psychologist.

MumQuack Fri 01-Jul-16 21:24:02

I agree Norber, that would be very odd

MumQuack Fri 01-Jul-16 21:24:47


Okay377 Fri 01-Jul-16 21:28:03

I think you just have to suck it up OP and think they're joking and it's not really at the forefront of people's minds. Police friends get 'ooh, are you going to arrest me?', teachers 'I'll watch my spelling/behaviour/whatever then!', journalists 'I'd better watch what I say! Are you recording it??' Nurses 'oh, well, I've got a funny pain in my xyz'. It's just people trying to make conversation - I don't think they take it seriously and don't think you should either.

On a separate note when you ask/someone tells you their job what do you say? I generally don't know much about it and so can ask questions but it always feels a bit awkward. It's a job, not a person.

DownUnderBound Fri 01-Jul-16 21:29:08

And how does that make you feel?

Okay377 Fri 01-Jul-16 21:29:34

And no, I wouldn't feel awkward...but I'm not sure what my follow up question/comment would be...see my post above about jobs!

Fourormore Fri 01-Jul-16 21:31:57

And how does that make you feel?

grin head tilt

I'm a psychotherapist, I get the same. It's their issue, not mine. I don't let it bother me.

ApocalypseSlough Fri 01-Jul-16 21:34:48

Its important to switch off from work if you do this sort of job. With my friends and family I use a completely different vocabulary and mindset than with clients.
How often are you meeting new people and telling them what you do? I'd imagine it's not that regularly and the problem is more that you're using your 'work persona' socially if it's something that you're aware of.

PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass Fri 01-Jul-16 21:37:07

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I know if you did try and delve into the depths of my strangeness you wouldn't get far 😄. I wouldn't insult you by asking you to read my mind either.

OnePlanOnHouzz Fri 01-Jul-16 21:38:18

I would imagine It's par for the course - anyone insecure in themselves for what ever reason will feel unsettled.
You might be better off sussing out the reaction you think you may get before you mention the field you work in ?!

Summerwood1 Fri 01-Jul-16 21:41:23

I'd just accept you for who you are. It would make no difference to me what your job is.

Heidi42 Fri 01-Jul-16 21:41:32

Sorry OP but my dds had a friend whose mum was a psychologist, up until I knew that I really liked her but as soon as I knew the job she did it tota;;y made me paranoid.

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