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to be upset with dh

(11 Posts)
thingamijig1 Fri 01-Jul-16 19:45:34

I've not been having a good week. I narrowly missed out on a really good job and have been feeling really shit since.
Dh was a dick on the day of the interview to the point we had a massive row and I spent the hours before going reassuring our son that we still loved each other. He sort of apologised and we got on with the weekend.
When I found out I didn't get the job a few days later it took him 4 hours to offer me a cuddle even though I was obviously devastated and was very abrupt and shouty at me then sat and watched the football while I made the tea, bathed the kids and put them to bed.
I have told him since I was/am annoyed about this and he has done fuck all to make it up.
I need to talk to him as I'm a sahm and if I don't speak to him on some days I won't speak to another adult but it is getting to the point I just can't be arsed. I feel like screaming at him but I'm confused as to wether I'm really annoyed at him or if I'm just upset about the job.

Lovewineandchocs Fri 01-Jul-16 19:48:10

Does he have a problem with you going for jobs? Would he prefer you to stay a SAHM?

thingamijig1 Fri 01-Jul-16 20:00:03

No I don't think so. He spent the run up to the interview spending the money we'd get so I think he would be happy. It fitted in really well with our family life as was only 2 days a week and one of them would of been his day off and was in the field I want to get into when I go back full time. This is why I'm so upset I didn't get it. Jobs like it come up once in a blue moon.

Lovewineandchocs Fri 01-Jul-16 21:10:00

Sorry hon, then it seems like there is an underlying issue here, without knowing more I can only suggest you sit down and calmly talk it out with him in a non-confrontational manner. I hope another job comes up soon x

tbh it just sounds to me that he really does not know how to deal with your disappointment and is cross for you so it translates as being cross at you if that makes sense. I sometimes did this with DS where my sadness at his disappointment at something made me sound abrupt when I really did not mean to be, I was just gutted on his behalf and cross at the source of his disappointment. not making excuses he could just be a monumental dick but sit him down and tell him he has made you feel bad, give him a chance to explain if this is the case.

2yummymummy2 Fri 01-Jul-16 21:34:49

Keep trying
We have all had jobs we haven't got so don't let that get you down too much

HermioneJeanGranger Fri 01-Jul-16 21:45:22

YANBU at all. Surely when your partner has a job interview, it's common sense to be nice, supportive and helpful beforehand so they're as relaxed as possible? Surely it's instinct to offer your partner a hug when they're upset?

It sounds to me like he liked the idea of you getting a job (the money) but then when you had the interview etc. he maybe started thinking about the reality of it, and has decided he's not too keen on the idea, so he jeapoardised it (the argument) and therefore didn't comfort you afterwards.

He doesn't sound very supportive or helpful, OP. flowers I hope things improve.

thingamijig1 Fri 01-Jul-16 23:09:49

That's what he said when we spoke about it before step. I can half understand it. What I am struggling to understand is why he isn't trying to make up for it now by apologising or being nice. He's hardly talking to me to the point a friend came up tonight and asked as soon as dh had left the room if we were arguing so there is an atmosphere that I'm not imagining. I need to sit and talk to him I guess. I'm so upset it won't be calm tonight so will try talk to him tomorrow. Thank you for your replies smile

thingamijig1 Fri 01-Jul-16 23:27:51

Hermione that was my thoughts who doesn't at least give a squeeze of reassurance when their partner is obviously upset?? I really hope there isn't something underlying his behaviour but I'm beginning to wonder. We have our tiffs but they don't last more than a couple of days. This has gone on a week and I feel so shit anyway now I feel pure lonely too sad

Lovewineandchocs Sat 02-Jul-16 01:06:38

Awww sweetheart, hugs to you. Really hope you can both sort it out tomorrow and that you'll feel better flowers

thingamijig1 Sat 02-Jul-16 09:21:06

Thank you lovewine still the same this morning will talk to him when he gets in from work.

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