AIBU to dislike being called weird?

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

It pops up every now and again. People, friends really, say I'm weird. I don't particularly like it. It's hardly a compliment.

I don't think I am. I have my little ways, they don't affect anybody in any way but I like to do certain things in a certain way and I'm happy with that. Sometimes I don't even know why they are saying it. One (ex) friend has said it more than once. It makes me reluctant to even say anything at all past superficial chat.

[Whatslovegottodo]

Well it is often a term of affection. My friends call me weird, in a nice way, in fact I got a card with 'you are my favourite kind of weird' for my birthday. It doesn't bother me, maybe ask them to stop if it does though, friends shouldn't make you feel bad.

[Flacidunicorn]

What's wrong with weird?

What is normal?

Everyone is different and it's only dull sheep people that call others weird.

[Meeep]

Saying you are weird isn't meant to be a compliment, although someone could say it fondly I suppose, as a bit of a tease, rather than as a direct insult.

It doesn't really matter what anyone else says if you are happy with the way you are.

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

Hmm, maybe "better than being ordinary" will be my response to this .

It's always over mundane things as well that I just don't understand why someone would think 'oh she does that, that's weird', I wouldn't even think about it, I'd just think 'that's they way they do that/that's what they do' and think no more of it.

The ex friend didn't mean it as an affectionate term. It was definitely a 'oh you're soooo weird' as that's exactly what she used to say, leaving me confused in my apparent weirdness.

[WorraLiberty]

If you don't like it, you need to tell them.

Lots of people call me weird and I call them weird. What it normally means is 'different', or that the concept of what they're doing/thinking/enjoying etc is weird.

[marblestatue]

It just depends how they are saying it. If they're smiling and being friendly when they say this, they probably mean you're quirky, individual and unique. But if they are sneering that's different.

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

OP I get you. My mother has spent my whole life calling me weird, strange etc and it does really upset me. She'll expand it to say things like anybody who likes me must be strange, and anyone I have a relationship with also. When someone says it so much you begin to believe there must be some truth in it, and is the reason I tend to avoid relationships (as there must be something wrong with anyone who takes an interest in me, so I avoid them).

I know that probably sounds OTT to others, but it can be really hurtful if said constantly.

[trafalgargal]

I like quirky people.
People who think for themselves and don't act like sheep.

Come sit on the quirky bench and be weird with the rest of us interesting people.

[NikiSaintPhalle]

It's not hard to be 'weird' in certain circumstances, though. Weird is relative. Where I currently live - a village which seems to me, as a recent arrival from London and a foreigner to boot, almost freakishly uniform in terms of how people present themselves and what kind of things they do for leisure etc - I am actually considered deeply weird, despite being far from unusual as 43 year old women go.

I mean things like not coming from here originally - we are the only foreigners in the area, everyone else moving in is originally from here or close by and moving back to raise children near family - having spent a lot of time living in other countries, working FT while having a small child, what I do for a living, what DH does, how our house is decorated, the fact that I kept my name on marriage, only having one child, being an older mother etc etc. Normal stuff, but not for here. By the standards of here, I am in fact the village weirdo .

[OhtoblazeswithElvira]

Same here. I have been called weird throughout my life. It's rude, really, isn't it?

I think everything about me is perfectly "normal" and not at all unusual, while at the same time feeling every person is unique. So I have never felt the need to call anybody weird well, maybe Michael Gove

[puzzledbyadream]

I've been called weird my whole life. There was a time as a teenager I pretended to embrace it but as I've got older I've just wondered why people can't just consider me normal. I don't really feel like I do anything particularly "out there" compared to other people. I can sort of deal with quirky but tbh I'd just rather be seen as me being me which is totally fine.

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

Thanks, will join you on the bench. |---|

Quirky, yes. I do seem to be a bit marmite I think. I have noticed that people seem to really like me and tell me I'm funny or they just look at me like wtf. I notice it more as I get older. I have to say I care less if they like me or not, that's not my problem, they are free to move away from me. It's just that weird 'label'.

But yes it is likely their issue. I like that arf, if I'm not doing/saying/thinking the same as others, they can't handle it.

[ToastDemon]

I've had this my whole life. "Weirdo" and "space cadet". More so when I was younger. Recently a colleague called me weird, and she didn't mean it kindly.
This is part of why I'm currently seeking assessment for ASD - so I can say well yes of course I am I have Aspergers you rude bitch.

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

That's it exactly puzzled. I don't do anything out there either. It's not like I'm walking the streets with pants on my head doing jazz hands to everyone. It will be something mundane like the way I eat or what I eat. It's just me.

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

How are you getting on with the diagnosis toast? I admit it has crossed my mind too. I've done a fair few online tests and every one comes back with a high score. But people don't think it because I try to fit in so I often try and hide things.

[IAmcuriousyellow]

I feel sad for Time above who's mother calls her this. Agree that it's all in the tone of voice, and who is calling the name. It's a powerful word and can be good or bad and only the situation at the time indicates which. I get called it and am now fairly comfortable with it. If someone uses it to me unkindly well I just fuck them off out of it, they don't mean me well so why would I care what they think.

[timelytess]

It's often applied to me.
I don't think its a term of affection but its better than a lot of other things I get called.
I'm on the spectrum. If I'm weird, they're boring underlings.

[Viewofhedges]

If I'm weird, they're boring underlings

Now that is a quote for a cross stitch if ever I saw one.....

[NicknameUsed]

DD (15) gets called weird. I think it is because she isn't a sheep and doesn't follow the crowd. She doesn't wear tons of makeup and do duck pout selfies all the time. She doesn't like boy bands. She isn't interested in fashion or designer labels etc.

I am pleased that she is an individual.

[blitheringbuzzards1234]

Take comfort from the messages from 'fellow weirdos' on here, harry. I've often been thought weird by family/MIL (who can't bear anyone who's different) simply because I'm quiet, arty and not particularly sociable.
We 'weirdos' are imaginative and if that's seen to be a threat by the beige folks in this world may I suggest that they're the ones with the problem? It's more interesting/rewarding to plough your own furrow. It makes the world more colourful.

[DramaAlpaca]

Can I join you all on the weird bench please, and I'll bring my quirky 18 year old DS along too.

[Iflyaway]

Ah, they're just jealous cos you dare to be different!