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Neighbour furious that I didn't consult her before I cut back some bushes!

(181 Posts)
mumof2littlemonsters Wed 29-Jun-16 18:20:08

About a week ago I chopped down some (not all) bushes in my front garden. I moved a small half shed there (it holds a couple of child's bicycles) temporarily whilst we are having building work. My neighbour has just marched up to me very aggressively wanting to know what I have done with the garden. Why hadn't she been consulted? She had enjoyed a yellow rose on the corner for 10 years (we moved in about 18 months ago) - what had I done with it? We have a beautiful apple tree in our front garden which is still there. I have been told by her in the past that I should chop it down (more than once). She used to cut a lavender in our front garden (it wasn't overgrown). It's really bizarre but it's like she thinks our garden is an extension of her own. I wouldn't for a minute expect to be consulted if she wanted to change her garden/chop down a rose bush etc etc. I don't want to fall out with neighbours but I haven't a clue how to handle this woman. Has anyone had anything similar?

MorticiaLiverish Wed 29-Jun-16 18:26:17

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RiverTam Wed 29-Jun-16 18:27:26

Just tell her it's your garden and you can do what you like! Why on earth are you asking this, you must know that, surely?

00100001 Wed 29-Jun-16 18:27:54

What did you say to her at the time?

I wouldn't even bother bringing it up again unless she does, and even then I'd probably just go "Well, feel free to buy another one"

And generally smile and wave and ignore her.

RiverTam Wed 29-Jun-16 18:28:28

Morticia 'old bat'hmm? Where did the op mention her NDN's age?

seasidesally Wed 29-Jun-16 18:29:14

so all the work you have done is all in your own garden,nothing to do with her at all ??

if so i would basically tell her to sod of if thats the case

Magicpaintbrush Wed 29-Jun-16 18:31:51

Omg she sounds bananas. It is YOUR garden, I would politely but firmly make that very clear. It's understandable that you want to keep things friendly but she clearly isn't doing you the same courtesy!!

FoxesOnSocks Wed 29-Jun-16 18:33:54

YANBU. But I can see where she's coming from, I had new neighbours move in and they chopped down a beautiful small tree that overhung my garden. I had really enjoyed that tree, but not quiet bonkers enough to confront them, seeing it was in their garden wish the other side would chop down the grotty palm tree

blueturtle6 Wed 29-Jun-16 18:38:16

Tell het if she cuts anything more in your garden you'll report for criminal damage. (not really but that's what id like to do) my neighbour reports back to previous owner when I dig any plants. Sorry but geraniums and dahlias arent my taste. Also just dug up roses at have a toddler, could you use children as excuse for digging up.roses?

mumof2littlemonsters Wed 29-Jun-16 18:39:57

Morticia - she is of a certain age (around 65 to 70 at a guess) - so bang on there. I do know she is out of order but I just needed it confirmed - she seemed so sure of herself as if she was completely in the right! Yes all the work is completely in my own garden - come to think of it I do remember her lecturing one of our other neighbours that she should not have bird feeders in her garden, so our other neighbours are probably well aware of her 'strong' opinions. Still a horrible feeling though ... Thanks for the posts smile - I shall get back to worrying about Brexit instead wink

ExcuseMyEyebrows Wed 29-Jun-16 18:43:10

ignore the old bat.

Old bat? FFS hmm

RiverTam Wed 29-Jun-16 18:44:46

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mumof2littlemonsters Wed 29-Jun-16 18:47:18

I was just confirming she was from an older generation as opposed to a younger one ...

HoneyDragon Wed 29-Jun-16 18:50:50

Plant some Begonias to spell BUM.

And can we try and stop with the ageism, it's not pleasant.

Whathaveilost Wed 29-Jun-16 18:51:07

I was just confirming she was from an older generation as opposed to a younger one
Why does it matter what generation she is in?

AnnaMarlowe Wed 29-Jun-16 18:55:51

I would just give her a bright smile, fix her with a steely glare and say, "it is my garden" and then say nothing else (raise an eyebrow if you can).

Sounds like you need to be retraining her in neighbourly relations.

CoraPirbright Wed 29-Jun-16 18:57:42

I had exactly the same thing once - we had to cut down a horrid, gloomy, light sapping conifer tree in the corner of our garden on the instructions of Building Control. They said that the roots were going to interfere with the extension we were building. Then I had a call from a neighbour 3 doors down complaining that we had changed her view and that the tree had appeared in a watercolour her daughter had done and it now didnt match the view confused. I did have the excuse that we had to do it but I was a little hmm. Just ignore - some people are weird and precious.

QuiteLikely5 Wed 29-Jun-16 18:59:09

Fgs you can't even call someone an old bat without being jumped on now!

It's not against the law afaik?

RiverTam Wed 29-Jun-16 18:59:50

No, you didn't, you told the poster who referred to your NDN as an 'old bat' that she was bang on. Own it.

NavyAndWhite Wed 29-Jun-16 19:00:11

It's against the law on MN Quite.

mumof2littlemonsters Wed 29-Jun-16 19:00:44

Does this always happen on MN threads - after a few posts the subject matter changes completely?!! It makes absolutely no difference whatsoever which generation she is in - I only confirmed to Morticia that she was correct in her presumption of her age.

NavyAndWhite Wed 29-Jun-16 19:01:37

Yes OP.

mumof2littlemonsters Wed 29-Jun-16 19:02:08

I didn't mean 'bang on' to old bat - I meant 'bang on' on the presumption of her age...

exWifebeginsat40 Wed 29-Jun-16 19:02:31

yes but mumsnet is full of batshittery and shouldn't be confused with real life.

QuiteLikely5 Wed 29-Jun-16 19:03:21

Bats enough ladies........grin

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