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To think godparents can't be bothered

(12 Posts)
Blablabla1984 Wed 29-Jun-16 10:59:03

We're godparents to our friends' kids and took that role very seriously. Went to see them a lot, got them presents for every occasion, visited one of them when he was at the hospital....

Last year we asked them to be godparents to our little one. I thought ot would be an honour but it just seems like a chore for them. They've come to see him once in the last 6 months, cards and presents for birthday and Christmas were late... it just feels like a forced thing.

I don't want to stop what I already do for their kids but at the same time it feels like it's putting pressure on them to return the favour. What would you do?

TheSpottedZebra Wed 29-Jun-16 11:04:13

Did you talk about what expectations were before you agreed to do the godparenting bit?
As it means really different things to different people.

sirfredfredgeorge Wed 29-Jun-16 11:15:24

Your little one isn't really old enough for any religious indoctrination instruction, the godparents don't need to do anything other than pray until they are. YABVU.

EdmundCleverClogs Wed 29-Jun-16 11:29:16

What exactly are you expecting of them? Godparents are a religious role, I assume they are a bit young for bible stuff at the moment. Anyway, I'm sure your religious influence will be enough. (Or were you just expecting the GP to treat your children in a super-special way because of some nonsense ceremony?)

imwithspud Wed 29-Jun-16 11:36:06

Did you discuss beforehand what expectations were? Like a pp said it means different things to different people. For some it literally is just a title and they don't feel they need to do much more than that, for others it's about taking on more of an 'aunt and uncle' sort of role, for others it can mean something else.

Depends on your own upbringing and beliefs. I'm not even 100% sure who my godparents are in my mid-20's and I don't feel I've suffered any long lasting damage as a result. Neither of my DC have god parents.

Shouldwestayorshouldwegonow Wed 29-Jun-16 11:36:30

Getting them presents is not what God parents are all about op.

The role is in the name.

Unless you are religious what's the point.

IrenetheQuaint Wed 29-Jun-16 11:38:59

I wouldn't write them off quite yet - not everyone is great with tiny children. I do presents etc for my godchildren (often a bit late - is that really such a big deal?) but find it hard to have much of a relationship with them until they hit 3 or so.

peachpudding Wed 29-Jun-16 11:42:04

Did you explain to them beforehand what you were expecting them to do, because most people I know think a Godparent is just an 'honorary title', it really doesn't mean anything anymore.

Blablabla1984 Wed 29-Jun-16 11:49:57

I should point out that they are not religious at all, so I was kinda expecting like an auntie and uncle role like imwithspud said. At least that's what we've become to their children, I thought the feeling woukd be mutual.

EdmundCleverClogs Wed 29-Jun-16 11:53:01

should point out that they are not religious at all, so I was kinda expecting like an auntie and uncle role

Then why have them as Godparents hmm. Anyone can be a auntie/uncle type, don't need a waste of time ceremony for that.

HeartOnTheLine Wed 29-Jun-16 11:56:21

This is why people need to choose GodParents for their children wisely, because once they have stood in church and made that promise you can't change them.

sirfredfredgeorge Wed 29-Jun-16 12:41:13

I should point out that they are not religious at all

Sounds like they're doing a good job of living up to their obligations as godparents as a non-religious group then. ie fuck all obligation.

You screwed up, next time, pick some religious people who'll accept the religious obligation of being a godparent, and do all the gift giving as a way of ensuring access to their charges.

Maybe you could have another christening - maybe a different church?

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