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To ask my husband not to drink around me while pregnant?

(253 Posts)
dellacucina Wed 29-Jun-16 10:27:12

Or to only drink the 1 unit I am allowed? It makes me feel extremely isolated and resentful to be alone in this, on top of all of the other crap things about being pregnant. Plus I am only doing this because he wants children.

We have gone to loads of weddings lately and he drinks lots and lots of nice things while I watch.

At home, he will grab a beer and go to the other room, saying it is not in front of me.

At the same time, he has told me that the restrictions I have to deal with are not that bad and I should just deal.

Is this an unreasonable request? I have not asked him to stop altogether, just in my presence.

schokolade Wed 29-Jun-16 10:28:35

Hmm. I would be pretty unimpressed in DH asked me to stop doing something because he couldn't do it. Cut down would be more reasonable.

I think you'd be better off looking for some nice things YOU can drink, rather than limiting him.

HeyMacWey Wed 29-Jun-16 10:29:29

Yabu.

But I'm more concerned that you're only having a child because he wants one.

TheImprobableGirl Wed 29-Jun-16 10:30:38

Maybe everybody should stop drinking? Ever? Because you have to?

And as for "I'm only having children because he wants them" I don't think you are completely on board with this pregnancy thing. Could you be suffering antenatal depression or anxiety?

I don't think he should stop drinking in front of you any more than you should stop being pregnant in front of him to be honest

LillyVonSchtupp Wed 29-Jun-16 10:30:51

YABU.

And a wee bit childish and controlling.

peppercold Wed 29-Jun-16 10:31:05

You're only pregnant because HE wants kids?

ijustwannadance Wed 29-Jun-16 10:31:31

What Hey said

NavyAndWhite Wed 29-Jun-16 10:31:45

You're only pregnant for your husband?

ElspethFlashman Wed 29-Jun-16 10:31:49

I suspect you are resentful about a lot of other things......

It is unreasonable I'm afraid to expect your partner to be dry at a wedding just because you have to be.

Just buy some non alcoholic beer if you miss it so much!

BendydickCuminsnatch Wed 29-Jun-16 10:32:39

I say YABU but seems like there's a lot more to it than just the drink.

dellacucina Wed 29-Jun-16 10:32:49

What is unreasonable about this request? He can go out and drink with his friends all he wants.

I haven't asked him to stop eating nice bloody steaks in front of me. I haven't asked him to stop eating pate. I haven't asked him not to eat nice cheese. I haven't asked him to get fat and ruin his body forever. I haven't asked him not to go out with his friends.

I sort of want a child but never would have put myself through this if it were not for his definitely wanting one. I absolutely loathe being pregnant.

iloveberries Wed 29-Jun-16 10:32:59

Don't you want your partner to enjoy things in his life?

You're being massively unreasonable.

2nds Wed 29-Jun-16 10:33:39

??? You are having a baby because he wants kids? There's your problem right there I'm afraid.

iloveberries Wed 29-Jun-16 10:33:45

How would you feel if he told you to go to work as soon as you'd had the baby... He will have to go back. Why shouldn't you?

DustyBustle Wed 29-Jun-16 10:33:58

YABU

And you're only doing this because he wants children?

Lurkedforever1 Wed 29-Jun-16 10:34:04

Unless you are a recovering alcoholic, or he is aware you've had alcohol problems in the past, yabu. Not drinking for 9 months shouldn't be a hardship otherwise.

If he had to follow a specific diet for health reasons (allergy/ diabetes/ coeliac disease etc) would you think it reasonable to demand you do too?

Whathaveilost Wed 29-Jun-16 10:34:17

Yab massively u

eggpoacher Wed 29-Jun-16 10:34:35

You don't sound very happy to be pregnant at all.
No wonder your husband needs a drink.

LillyVonSchtupp Wed 29-Jun-16 10:34:37

Why exactly did you post asking for opinions OP if you are so sure you're not being unreasonable?

confused

donajimena Wed 29-Jun-16 10:34:56

I'm going to say YANBU. I didn't like being pregnant and its not nice having your nose rubbed in it.

joellevandyne Wed 29-Jun-16 10:35:28

I'm with HeyMac, yes, it's unreasonable for you to demand it but more importantly, why are you having a child you don't want? Are you aware that parenting is a fucking huge commitment and challenging even for people who really want a child? I sincerely hope your OH plans on being a SAHD.

GahBuggerit Wed 29-Jun-16 10:35:35

yea this isnt zbout alcohol is it op? if it really is then yabvu, its a bit weird imo, do you have a drink problem or did you beford you got pg?

Somerville Wed 29-Jun-16 10:35:45

I don't think you're being unreasonable, actually. If it was just because you wanted to spoil his fun, then yes, that would be. But there seems to be (much, much) more to this.

Your husband should support you through tough times. And this sounds like a really tough time. If not drinking around you would help you, then he should give it a try.

DustyBustle Wed 29-Jun-16 10:36:00

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NikiSaintPhalle Wed 29-Jun-16 10:36:01

Drinking is a minor issue here. You seem hugely angry with him, presumably because you're only having a baby because he wants one, which is insane. You aren't drinking, or drinking minimally, for sound medical reasons to do with your baby's health - do you honestly expect your DH to attend weddings and drink mineral water the entire time because you are? Are you normally a heavy drinker, OP? Is your relationship generally strong?

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