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To think this is no big deal?

(154 Posts)
MelCookie Wed 29-Jun-16 10:23:01

I have been working out with a personal trainer for the past few weeks, he's helped me enormously post-injury and is a nice guy. He's changed a couple of sessions for me at short notice and with no charge.

We chat during the sessions (random stuff, seems to make it hurt less!) and starting talking about books the other week.

I was ordering some books on Bookpeople the other day and needed to spend another £4 for free delivery. Had a look at some cheap books and spotted a £4.99 book (about the digital world) that I thought he'd like, so I bought it.

DH went nuts and said it was deeply inappropriate and has changed the basis of my relationship with personal trainer and has raised expectations.

I consider myself a generous and thoughtful person. I like to show appreciation and, for me, it was just a small token of appreciation.

Who is BU here?!

peppercold Wed 29-Jun-16 10:36:29

He's your trainer not your boss!

Princesspinkgirl Wed 29-Jun-16 10:39:30

I think buying books for your trainer is wrong because you have a dh if you was single id say fair enough this sounds like you've over stepped the mark here I agree with your dh

WorraLiberty Wed 29-Jun-16 10:39:48

Your DH is being unreasonable.

Is there any kind of back story?

What is your relationship like generally?

WorraLiberty Wed 29-Jun-16 10:41:09

Princess why wrong?

She didn't buy him 50 Shades of Grey.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Wed 29-Jun-16 10:42:43

Kind of weird.

You're wooing him. Buying him gifts indicate you fancy him. Your DH is jealous. Mind how you go.

FuckyNell Wed 29-Jun-16 10:44:59

Inappropriate I'd say.

flowercap Wed 29-Jun-16 10:48:30

I agree with your DH. It's not something I'd ever consider doing in a professional relationship and I wouldn't be happy if DH did it.

Birdsgottafly Wed 29-Jun-16 10:48:52

My ex and my DH (deceased) would buy the stereotypical stuff such as chocolates or flowers, for 'other women' on occasion.

I've had a PT and my DDs have, I and they don't have the type of relationship with them, that, this wouldn't make the PT feel awkward, tbh.

I've been in work roles and have been given presents and haven't liked it, I've felt that it crossed a boundary, so I don't tend to give presents.

You know your PT.

MelCookie Wed 29-Jun-16 10:49:30

Thanks for the replies

Eeek - seems like I might have got it wrong. Am really embarrassed now. Definitely don't fancy the guy!

Was just being thoughtful and thoughtless at the same time it seems.

confusionis Wed 29-Jun-16 10:50:38

Its weird but not really a big deal

Sgtmajormummy Wed 29-Jun-16 10:51:09

Buy books for anybody you like. It's appropriate for all ages and relationships.
Only you know what motive lies behind it and that's what counts.

MelCookie Wed 29-Jun-16 10:52:21

Just to put it into context. I always give our cleaning lady Christmas gifts for her and her little girl. And if I'm on my way home when she's working, I usually pick up a muffin or cookie for her to have with coffee.
Is this also a bit daft?

CurlyMango Wed 29-Jun-16 18:12:02

Yup, daft. Hard for them to say no also.

Babysafari Wed 29-Jun-16 18:20:18

I don't think it's that bad. I can see why your dh might be a bit jealous though.

I think getting your cleaner a little gift and a cake is a lovely thing to do.

Babysafari Wed 29-Jun-16 18:22:12

I wonder whether if the personal trainer was a woman people would still think it was bad.

Queenbean Wed 29-Jun-16 18:22:33

Yup, a bit silly. Would you be upset if your DP had started seeing a fit female personal trainer and bought her something similar after seeing her for a few weeks?

Marmite27 Wed 29-Jun-16 18:25:31

My driving instructor once gave me several books he thought I should read..... Following on from conversations we'd had when driving. He gave me my favourite book ever (The Mayfair Witches by Anne Rice).

Should I have thought he was wooing me???

Shizzlestix Wed 29-Jun-16 19:52:57

Defo a bit odd. You're paying him, so you don't need to get him gifts.

RudeElf Wed 29-Jun-16 19:57:18

I dont find it odd but then i'm not the sort to be overcome with the urge to clutch my pearls at the idea men and women can be friends.

cbigs Wed 29-Jun-16 20:08:28

Nah sounds ok to me op. You
iChat buy your hairdresser something if you got chatting say? Would t be any different in my eyes....

cbigs Wed 29-Jun-16 20:08:59

Might not IChat hmm

Charley50 Wed 29-Jun-16 20:19:48

Might be petty but id be a bit jealous, ESP if the personal trainer was fitter than me (likely) and that you didn't buy me a book. If your DH isn't much of a reader you might have felt a bit, I dunno, diminished, by you getting someone else a book.

Charley50 Wed 29-Jun-16 20:21:18

He might not you might.

Glovebug Thu 30-Jun-16 00:11:00

Babysafari I was wondering the same thing!

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