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To ask what's the worst 'sense of humour' you ever experienced? (Light hearted - I bet you lot have some absolute clangers)

(122 Posts)
Flamingo1980 Tue 28-Jun-16 22:07:35

So I've just got back from seeing some friends and met a friend of theirs for the first time. Christ it was about ten shades of painful. She just kept making these terrible - jokes - if you can even call it that. Whatever they were she thought she was hilarious.
Her idea of comedy was just to say something that was the opposite of the truth, and then pause, laugh, and then exclaim, "I'm joking!". Over and over.
Example: Me: "So how are you finding living here?"
Her: "I hate it!!!.....*pause*...*laughs loudly*... No not really I love it!!....HHAHAHAAAAA!"
Etc etc. This continued for some time in the same pattern until I wanted to gauge my eyes out with a fork.
It was that sort of "Awkward uncle at Christmas" humour but without the thinly vieled racism and smut.

Can you lot now make me feel better by regaling me with 'painful humour' anecdotes please!

TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat Tue 28-Jun-16 23:02:30

That sounds beyond painful OP grin

Flamingo1980 Tue 28-Jun-16 23:33:55

Absolutely hideous dutchess!!

PovertyPain Tue 28-Jun-16 23:41:44

Oh dear, I feel your pain, but can raise it. My 21yr old does exactly the same, but she has SN so I grin grit my teeth and bare it. I get it with every question. "Did you like your dinner, dress, drink, etc?" "No, it wasn't nice" "really" "only joking, giggle giggle".

She is a darling so it's not so bad and wine helps

NoCapes Tue 28-Jun-16 23:48:29

The couple that have "hilarious" arguments in front of people that you just know turn into real ones when they get home
Accompanied with huge fake laughs after everything they say and inappropriate flirting with other people's partners

Do you laugh? Do you agree? Do you ignore?
Hate that couple!!

CaoNiMa Wed 29-Jun-16 03:42:57

Kathy Lette and her cringey "patter".

Flamingo1980 Wed 29-Jun-16 07:17:26

Povertypain you have to cope with that all the time?! I couldn't bear it for an hour!
Nocapes that sounds awful, do they do that all the time?!

TheNaze73 Wed 29-Jun-16 07:21:47

OP. I feel your pain. Sounds horrendous

gabsdot Wed 29-Jun-16 07:27:43

I was at a wedding once where instead of a proper speech the bride's father just told a load of stupid jokes and then sat down. Didn't mention his lovely daughter at all. The jokes weren't even funny.

Wishfulmakeupping Wed 29-Jun-16 07:30:24

Same here Gabs I went to one recently like that the bride was the butt of the 'jokes' bloody awful no-one knew where to look!

Clawdy Wed 29-Jun-16 07:38:14

At a friend's wedding recently the best man in his speech, turned to the bride's parents and said " You must feel sore to be losing your daughter, but not as sore as she will feel tomorrow after a night with Big Sam here...." Cue ghastly silence, one or two uneasy laughs, and bride's dad's face was a picture.

Flamingo1980 Wed 29-Jun-16 07:58:19

Clawdy my jaw literally just dropped at that. How can people think it would be okay to say that - it's supposed to be her special day?!

Wishfulmakeupping Wed 29-Jun-16 09:08:37

Oh gawd clawdy! That poor bride.
Reminded me of when my oh's uncle got married he was nearly 50 and his bride had been married twice before his best man made numerous jokes about groom being a virgin and the bride had been around the block she was going to train him up kind of thing- pretty grim but she thought it was hilarious?! Weddings seem to be a running theme for misjudged humour then!

NoCapes Wed 29-Jun-16 09:29:27

Flamingo allllll the time, the arguments get more personal after a few drinks
"Jokes" about their sex life and how rubbish the man is and how she'd rather paint her nails hahahaha hmm they're awful!

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Wed 29-Jun-16 15:48:46

I agree with the court let who 'argue'! I had a friend who did that with her partner (note the had) there was a slight underlying tension and you just KNEW it wasn't totally a joke. You also just KNEW that it was going to be full blown the minute they were alone.

StealthPolarBear Wed 29-Jun-16 15:51:25

Enjoying this thread smile

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Wed 29-Jun-16 16:02:59

I've just had a client tell me a homophobic joke - he wanted to know whether I thought it was funny or not because he had been thrown out of a comedy group for telling it. I tried to hedge but he was insistent 'It's funny isn't it? They were being too PC weren't they?" ...
er ... no it's not funny, it's actually hugely offensive.
couldn't bring myself to tell him I'm getting married to my same sex partner in two weeks

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Wed 29-Jun-16 16:05:18

couldn't bring myself to tell him I'm getting married to my same sex partner in two weeks

Based on this thread perhaps you should forgo the speeches...

MissSueFlay Wed 29-Jun-16 16:06:24

My FIL thinks he's really funny. He will deliberately mis-understand a word that you've said and then play at being 'confused' while he 'works it out'.

"Mum & Dad, have you got a tent"
"What? I haven't got a tent, but Mum has evil in-tent"

DH and his brothers half-heartedly go along with it, "No Daaaaaa-ad, I said 'have you got a TENT'" <MissSue stabs self in the eye with a pen>

AvaLeStrange Wed 29-Jun-16 16:07:02

Someone I know was chatting with a friend about music for friend's forthcoming wedding, and they ended up joking about inappropriate wedding songs. My acquaintance suggested 'Smack my bitch up'.
I have no idea what the groom to be made of that, but I went the full cats bum angry.

Champagneformyrealfriends Wed 29-Jun-16 16:12:34

At an NCT breastfeeding class when one of my friends made a "let's go get drunk" joke at the end and the teacher started to tell us how bad it was for the babies. I had to say "Erm...she was joking." confused

Favouritethings Wed 29-Jun-16 16:21:11

Oh clawdy I would have laughed!!

quirkychick Wed 29-Jun-16 16:25:51

We went to a barbecue at the house of a couple dp knows. The husband made loads of jokes about how ugly and stupid his wife was. The worst was about a photo of his wife and daughter, how beautiful his daughter was and how ugly his wife was. His daughter looked just like his wife hmm. He thought he was so funny, I just thought he was an abusive are. We haven't been back...

VioletVaccine Wed 29-Jun-16 17:03:40

My last neighbours grin every Sunday they'd gather their friends and I'd hear them shrieking with laughter, absolute uncontrollable fits of hilarity. Nothing wrong with that obviously, presuming they must have a natural comic among them.
DH thought they must be on drugs, as nothing is that funny grin

I had to know what was so hilarious because I'm nosy but the 'joke', was just a conversation.

"And then, I went to the shop, and....they'd ran out of milk!" <guffaws of hysteria>
"So, I decided I'd just have black coffee instead!" <falling about, fits of cackling and eventually subdued giggles>

It was the same every time I heard it, just an everyday account of either driving to work, or going shopping, told to a captive, hysterical audience.

So either they were 55 year old women with a weekend penchant for hippy crack, or they genuinely thought running out of milk was the funniest thing in the world hmm grin

ALemonyPea Wed 29-Jun-16 17:12:34

My biological father. The first time we spoke, I asked him what he did for a living. He told me he was a cage fighter and part time drug smuggler. He thought he was hilarious, I was just gobsmacked as this was within the first 5 minutes and I didn't know him at all. It's no wonder the relationship never took off and I don't see him now.

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