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To ne considering cancelling visitor due tomorrow?

(38 Posts)
listsandbudgets Tue 28-Jun-16 20:21:45

Close family member coming to stay pre arranged some time ago.

However I have just got home from hospital a week after being admitted through a and e with a bacterial infection.

I feel dreadful, can barely cope with kids and dp amd the house is a tip.

Now I've just looked at my diary and remembered she's coming to stay tomorrow. She is touring friends and relatives so has already left home with plans.

I want to see her but can't face visitors even close family
AIBU if I cancel at such short notice. She does know I've been in hospital bht she just texted me saying she will be here tomorrow morning

listsandbudgets Tue 28-Jun-16 20:23:50

To give balance I think she thinks that she will be coming to help me

CactusTeeth Tue 28-Jun-16 20:26:19

Can you tell her the truth? That you're just not up for visitors. I wouldn't mention the house as they will say it doesn't matter, concentrate on your health?
Hope you feel better soon flowers

ChicRock Tue 28-Jun-16 20:26:20

Is she the kind of visitor that'll muck in and help with shopping, cooking, etc?

I'm guessing not as, knowing someone has been in hospital, most people would suggest rearranging or at least check that the visit is still ok - not just text with a reminder that they'll be landing on your doorstep tomorrow.

So YANBU. Cancel it.

RaspberryOverload Tue 28-Jun-16 20:27:19

Then use her while she's there. Make sure she does help. grin

Might as well make the best of it, and get some rest.

Crunchymum Tue 28-Jun-16 20:27:27

Hotel? Can you maybe offer to pay some due to 'late notice' if she is a true friend she will understand and refuse any offer of money

CactusTeeth Tue 28-Jun-16 20:29:03

Yanbu btw

NewUsernameOldMe Tue 28-Jun-16 20:30:58

YANBU OP. Cancel it and focus on your health. If she's the sort of person to be put out, offer for her to stay in a hotel and she can drop in for a short time.

Damselindestress Tue 28-Jun-16 20:42:02

It's a bit weird that she knows you've just got out of hospital and assumed she was coming to stay instead of asking if it was still OK. She's "touring friends and relatives"? The cynic in me thinks she's trying to have a trip without paying for accommodation. Your well-being comes first, make sure you do what's best for you, whether that is cancelling or making sure she really helps out. I hope you feel better soon flowers

listsandbudgets Wed 29-Jun-16 00:29:24

Decided she can come. Just woke up to another text asking if lasagne and salad was ok for dinner tomorrow as she wanted to do the shopping on the way so she could cook. Also that she'd be here at 10 and to get dp to put a wash on, leave clean sheets for spare bed and children's and leave the vacuum cleaner and kitchen spray where she could find it easily. She knows our neighbours have got keys so she said not to get up as she'd bring me breakfast in bed about eleven.

Then there was another text saying not to worry about house she was coming to look after me

If she's going to be like that I think I will cope!

HooseRice Wed 29-Jun-16 00:32:18

Send her to me next!

Get well soon flowers

BillSykesDog Wed 29-Jun-16 00:33:38

She sounds amazing! Get well soon! flowers

CadleCrap Wed 29-Jun-16 00:56:55

She can come and visit me if she wants 😀

Get well soon and enjoy the visit

PaulAnkaTheDog Wed 29-Jun-16 00:58:11

That's so lovely smile

Leeds2 Wed 29-Jun-16 01:03:09


AdjustableWench Wed 29-Jun-16 01:08:34

I like her! She sounds lovely.

FuckingMother Wed 29-Jun-16 01:38:12

I don't feel very well. Send her to me afterwards please.

Iwasbornin1993 Wed 29-Jun-16 01:46:00

Can I join the queue to have a visit from her please? grin

Hope you're feeling back to normal soon, OP, and that you both enjoy the visit! flowers

Homebird8 Wed 29-Jun-16 02:08:24

I think she's going to bring a spoonful of sugar to help your medicine go down. Feel better soon. Let us know if she arrives with a carpet bag and an umbrella.

nocoolnamesleft Wed 29-Jun-16 03:15:24

I was once in the position of touch and go for readmission to hospital, and was too late to call some visitors to put them off. They arrived, saw the situation, cleaned the house, cooked food, did a batch of washing, did shopping to stock up the fridge, popped down to the pharmacy to pick up my medicines, then went back home. I was so glad I'd been too late to cancel them! Sounds like your guest is of a similar mindset, hope it goes well.

Italiangreyhound Wed 29-Jun-16 03:42:56

listsandbudgets so sorry you have been ill. In your shoes I'd just let her come. Send a text to warn her house is a tip and say so glad you are coming I'll be needing some help!

She sounds a tad insensitive not to ask if it is still OK to come after you've been in hospital for a week so I would have no compunction at all about asking her to help out, cook dinner or whatever.

I'd probably draw the line at asking her to shop as she may try to pay for everything! Can your dh get some shopping in?

She'll probably be great to help with kids and you can always retire to your bedroom when you need rest.

If you do want to do have some space, you could make it clear from day one your bedroom is your sanctuary and you would rather she did not come in! But the down side is no cups of tea in bed. So in your shoes I'd make the whole house a 'go' area and I'd just say when I wanted to rest "would you excuse me I must get some sleep now, will you be OK downstairs with the kids... etc.

nocoolnamesleft how lovely (well sad you were ill but what great friends).

listsandbudgets this is what family and friends are for, let her come and help, and tell us how it went once you are better!

Italiangreyhound Wed 29-Jun-16 03:44:33

Oopse didn't see the bit where you said she was doing everything, wondered how everyone else knew how great she was. DOH!

Fabulous news.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 29-Jun-16 06:09:55

She sounds great. Get well soon!

jacksoncannery Wed 29-Jun-16 06:26:04

What a lovely outcome, that almost never happens on these threads. Your friend is lovely. And probably a Mumsnetter.

CigarsofthePharoahs Wed 29-Jun-16 06:37:08

What a lovely friend!

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