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To think my work are being sneaky and making life hard because I'm pregnant?

(19 Posts)
WinniePooh101 Tue 28-Jun-16 19:24:03

In short, I have a demanding job, I'm office based and I'm 6 months pregnant. The company I work for are pretty relaxed about WFH and everyone does at least one day a week and it's very normal for people to email in the morning and say they're WFH that day due to train delays/traffic problems/something being delivered etc.

Last Friday I had my glucose blood test appt in the morning so I told my colleague on Thursday afternoon, I didn't mention to my boss because she was on AL on Friday, but I made sure my colleague knew as we were both due in the office on Friday. I have a one year daughter who had been ill for a couple of days, on Friday on my way back to work the nursery called to say come and get her she's too poorly to be here so I emailed my colleague and explained what had happened and that I would have to WFH Friday afternoon. Yesterday I got a really arsey email from my boss asking me to explain what had happened because no one knew where I was on Friday and WFH is not an automatic right and has to be approved in advance. Two of my colleagues who work in the same team as me WFH last week and emailed in on the day, one of them did it 3 times last week because she'd hurt her ankle and yet nothing was said to them. I emailed my boss and attached the email I'd sent to colleague on Friday, boss hasn't acknowledged email.

Add to this, I've put in for a weeks annual leave and it still hasn't been approved, my boss has sat on it for a week. My colleagues annual leave has been approved during this time but mine hasn't.

I can't help but feel publicly they're supporting me and saying all the right things about recruiting maternity cover for me etc but quietly they're trying to make life awkward.

Anyone been in a similar position? How did you handle it?

DavidPuddy Tue 28-Jun-16 19:48:51

From what you write here I'm not convinced it is because of the pregnancy. Iwould say it is good practice ro cc your boss when you want to work from home, have appointments, etc.

Regarding annual leave, it may be that there is a clash that they are hoping to resolve so that they can approve it. I would bring it up with them just to check the status.

WinniePooh101 Tue 28-Jun-16 19:53:41

Good points, thank you.

pinkladyapple Tue 28-Jun-16 21:06:09

I really don't get how they're making life awkward for you? By your own admission you should have told your boss.

timeandtide Tue 28-Jun-16 21:11:06

Your boss is being arsey so I'd just follow everything by the book the next time.

NapQueen Tue 28-Jun-16 21:14:25

Next time cc in your boss.

I don't understand how anyone can do any work with a 1year old around them though - maybe colleagues have raised that to the boss? Staying off for a bad ankle isn't the same as staying home to mind the child. The second reason really isn't giving you the chance to focus wholly on work.

lcoc2015 Tue 28-Jun-16 21:14:32

My organisation is fairly progressive about WFH however we dont allow WFH if a child is sick - how can you work if you are doing childcare?

Numberoneisgone Tue 28-Jun-16 21:14:42

Your boss is being arsey so I'd just follow everything by the book the next time

^ this

But I am also not sure if you are able to wfh with a sick child. She might think you are taking the piss a bit.

ChicRock Tue 28-Jun-16 21:21:11

It is the norm and expected practise to let your boss know if you are attending medical appointments, or taking time off to care for a sick child, or working from home.

I can't imagine why you thought it was ok to not inform your boss of this, even if it was just by cc'ing them into an email.

NewIdeasToday Tue 28-Jun-16 21:33:21

I agree that your manager's concern here was probably how you could work effectively from home with a sick child. So the issue isn't pregnancy - it's that all workers have to be working regardless of location.

I think you need to follow the rules carefully now. If your manager has concerns already it's only going to be worse once you have a toddler and a baby.

Amy214 Tue 28-Jun-16 22:13:07

Just thought i'd like to add when my dd is sick all she does is lie on the couch, snuggled up watching her favourite cartoon, occasionally ask for a drink and some snacks. And may have a few cat naps. It is possible to work with a sick toddler but i understand not all children are the same as my dd..

From now on i would follow the rules very carefully and make sure my boss was included in the emails.

sizeofalentil Tue 28-Jun-16 22:23:36

If they wanted to make life difficult for you they'd probably do more than this tbh.

Your boss might be being grumpy with you/annoyed with you at the moment for totally different reasons. Just ride it out and make sure you're doing everything by the book.

missymayhemsmum Tue 28-Jun-16 22:23:37

From your boss's point of view there is a line between being trusting and flexible and people taking the piss. Your boss didn't know whether you were at a medical appointment, taking time off for childcare, working from home or simply awol, which puts her in an awkward position.
As a rule of thumb, if you are not going to be in, clear it with your boss before hand or as soon as something happens. It would be a courtesy to phrase it as a request, in most workplaces.

ghostyslovesheep Tue 28-Jun-16 22:24:40

no I don't think they are - you should have emailed your BOSS not just a work mate to say you wanted to WFH and in our office WFH can not be requested because of a child being ill - you have to use leave, dependants leave or comp

could you actually work with an ill child at home?

Cheby Tue 28-Jun-16 22:32:55

You said your DD is 1. And you're 6 months pregnant. Do you mind me asking how long you've been back at work after your last mat leave?

Because if it's a short amount of time, it's feasible that your company is pissed off about it and that's why they are treating you differently.

Obviously they shouldn't disadvantage you in any way because of it, I'm just wondering if that might be why.

Mouikey Tue 28-Jun-16 22:33:55

Always let you boss know about antenatal appointments as far in advance as possible and always ask your boss about WFH - the other examples you have given don't seem quite similar to your situation.

Also never rely on a colleague to pass on a message, you have no idea what their motivation may be. If they are cheesed off that you are wfh due to child sickness and they don't think thats reasonable, just makes it easier for them to cause a bit of trouble if they 'forget' to pass it on.

In terms of leave, my manager never signed mine off in 'good time'. In fact the last set of leave he hadn't signed off but I took it anyway (because I hadn't realised!!).

To prove you are being treated differently because of your pregnancy you would have to show similar or the same situation as your non-pregnant colleagues and that they treated you differently.

lougle Tue 28-Jun-16 22:59:48

You told your workplace that you wouldn't be in work on Friday morning, the day before. You must have known prior to that. Why did you leave it so late? And working from home because a parcel is coming is not the same as staying at home because your child is sick.

This has nothing to do with your pregnancy. You're treating your work like a hobby

Arkwright Tue 28-Jun-16 23:04:54

You should have emailed your boss. How can you work from home if you were at the hospital and then looking after your child? Nothing to do with you being pregnant.

Mouikey Tue 28-Jun-16 23:08:32

Antenatal appointments can be taken in the working day without taking leave, flexi or wfh (they are covered by legislation). However you need to give reasonable notice and less than 24 hours is not reasonable.

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