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hysterical parenting - AIBU?

(125 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

cathf Tue 28-Jun-16 10:57:31

I might be a voice in the wilderness here but is anyone else amazed at the level of overreaction and drama involved in parenting in 2016?
I only joined Mumsnet a few weeks ago and I have been astonished by some of the posts on here. I sincerely hope that this is not a snapshot of real life or we are all doomed.
It looks to me as if mothers - and I am sorry, it is almost exclusively mothers - seem to need to constantly define themselves by 'protecting' their children against perceived dangers as if it somehow proves they are good mothers. What did these women do before they had children?
In no particular order in the last few days, we have had a mum who was blocking all contact with her PIL because they did not show as much interest in their grandchild as SHE thought they should, someone suggesting the police should be called because an elderly woman helped a mum diffuse a stand-off with a toddler and yet another thread about locking the family away from the world until the baby is x weeks old.
What happened to living peacefully as best we can? Instead a routine trip to the shops, toddler's birthday or birth of a new baby is turned into a dramatic stand-off when there's really no need.
I am quite prepared to accept I am a minority of one on this - my children are aged 23, 12 and 9 so I guess I just parented in different times!

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 28-Jun-16 11:04:07

Nah, it's very much a mumsnet attitude. Half the stuff I read on here seems like a completely foreign concept to me.

MargaretCavendish Tue 28-Jun-16 11:05:43

Well, a forum where people seek help, advice or reassurance isn't a representative sample, is it? No one's posting saying 'I went to the shops/hosted a party for my child/had a second baby and it was all without incident' because they would be very pointless posts, not because it never happens.

timeandtide Tue 28-Jun-16 11:07:05

YANBU a million times over. We're apparently not allowed to use the word meltdown either hmm

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I really don't know how some mumsnetters function in real life. They must be constantly offended, shocked and appalled. A right barrel of laughs, eh?

Come at me with your flaming...grin

Hopskipjump0711 Tue 28-Jun-16 11:07:30

I only come on here for the over-reacting and the drama. It makes me feel normal grin

KoalaDownUnder Tue 28-Jun-16 11:08:44

I agree with you.

I never hear such stuff from my real-life friends who are mums (thank God).

redexpat Tue 28-Jun-16 11:08:55

It sounds overstrung and hysterical if everyone you know is well behaved, reasonable, thoughtful, can communicate well, can solve conflict etc. But ive been on mn for a few years and have learned that some people are batshit, others are abusive a.d life is too short for people who bring negativity and drama into your life.

eosmum Tue 28-Jun-16 11:10:50

I do agree but the drama is very entertaining.

ElspethFlashman Tue 28-Jun-16 11:15:37

God yes. It seems like you're not a good mum if you don't get massively indignant at someone you know at least once every day.

Problem is that there are always a host of people ready to endorse your view that Everyone is a Narcissist Except You.

So a healthy dose of "Do calm down, dear" rarely goes down too well.

Shouldwestayorshouldwegonow Tue 28-Jun-16 11:18:39

To be honest I remember acting fairly hysterically with dc1 and being ridiculously over protective. You do learn with age and relax with subsequent children.

I vividly remember waiting for dh to come home to bath ds1. Towels warned, baby grow and nappy ready and a fluffy towel laid out on the changing mat. We did it together and sang the bath sing dh had made up! grin

By dd4 her arse smelled s bit and I dunked her under a running tap. grin

MouldyPeach Tue 28-Jun-16 11:19:18

Sounds like you just read the op's and selected comments as none of those were particularly well received posts and don't seem to be the norm.

user1465823522 Tue 28-Jun-16 11:21:35

i think people in general get very emotional about stuff and being online and anonymous increases that

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Tue 28-Jun-16 11:22:34

Most hysterical parents get a dose of reality on here from other posters. The drama is very entertaining though, would be boring if everyone was sensible and rational grin

WellErrr Tue 28-Jun-16 11:24:14

So you've read a few OPs not the majority of the replies and decided based on that that women and mothers in particular 'these days' are hysterical?

Lovely bit of everyday misogyny there.

DonkeyOaty Tue 28-Jun-16 11:25:16

Well that's us told then innit

Thanks for showing us the error of our ways, Cath

Any other gaffes that we are making, from your viewpoint of being ever so new to MN?

rainbowstardrops Tue 28-Jun-16 11:27:20

I frequently sit here shaking my head at some of the shit I read on here too!
It's quite entertaining though!
Locking your newborn away from the world for weeks so you can 'bond' always gets me grin

BishopBrennansArse Tue 28-Jun-16 11:29:01

Time do you think you could be a little bit less dismissive of some parents' fight against disablism?
Describing a NT child's tantrum as a meltdown is massively minimising a feature of a disability. If you can't tell the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown you obviously haven't had to deal with one so consider yourself fortunate.

HermioneJeanGranger Tue 28-Jun-16 11:29:35

I think people overexaggerate online and that a lot of people get emotional/express things on here that they'd never do/say in real life.

IcedCoffeeToGo Tue 28-Jun-16 11:30:40

NP criticises MN post.

Yeah, that happens every now and again.

No one posts for happy stuff, we're British and posting to say I have a lovely life and my baby is wonderfully clever and sleeps is not the done thing.

Everything written down becomes dramatic due to the medium.

Sorry.

MsWorthington Tue 28-Jun-16 11:32:59

I know a fair few overprotective parents, and I find it all rather odd.

My DD is 8, yr3 and since the beginning of this school year she's been walking into school on her own. That's walking into school, not to school, as in up the short school drive, along a short pathway on school property and into the playground by herself. I get comments of "aren't you brave" and "she's so independent", um no, she's 8 and perfectly capable of doing things for herself. She neither wants nor needs me to shadow her constantly.

WorraLiberty Tue 28-Jun-16 11:34:08

Mumsnet and real life (or at least my RL) are actually like chalk and cheese.

I firmly believe a lot of people simply type what they believe to be the 'correct Mumsnet response', and then go back to their normal life which doesn't involve any of the hysteria they've just whipped up on a thread.

It's amusing though grin

fassone Tue 28-Jun-16 11:37:13

YANBU and I sometimes wonder his these kids will cope with life's challenges if the hysterical parenting continues.
By the way, I have one child and I'm probably the most relaxed about parenting than my friends with more. It's not always about PFB or inexperience, some parents are simply more highly strung than others.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Tue 28-Jun-16 11:38:42

Mumsnet - home of the professionally offended and people who can work loaves and fishes miracle with a roast chicken

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Tue 28-Jun-16 11:39:08

It's often very funny though grin Take yourself to the Classics topic

AppleSetsSail Tue 28-Jun-16 11:39:20

Agreed, OP.

I got a big kick out of people taking an interest in my kids when they were babies, in fact I felt a bit peeved when they didn't. I had a lot of older ladies offering to hold them when I was in a pinch (fitting rooms, grocery checkouts, whatever) and always accepted gratefully.

I'd never offer anyone help, though. I've seen way too many of these threads. I once blithely offered to hold a baby screaming its head off as her mother was having her nails done at a salon and she totally shot me down. My sister was horrified with me.

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