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To not contribute to this leaving present?

(115 Posts)
yougotitdude Sun 26-Jun-16 23:05:29

Started a new job last Wednesday.

A staff member is leaving this Friday and the office (20 of us) have had a whip round to buy her a spa day- £10 contribution each

Collegue has asked us all to bring the money tomorrow- came and told us individually, including me

I dont think I should have to contribute

AIBU?

Floggingmolly Sun 26-Jun-16 23:06:17

Of course you shouldn't. Just say no,

ohnoppp Sun 26-Jun-16 23:08:24

You are being unreasonable

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 26-Jun-16 23:08:29

You shouldn't have to but I would to be part of the team. Unless you're skint because of starting a new job... in which case just tell them that.

OwlinaTree Sun 26-Jun-16 23:08:52

Ooh this was an episode of friends!

Difficult one. Can you afford to contribute? Although you don't really know the leaver, it might make your colleagues dislike you or think you are mean if you don't put in for it. It might be short term pain, long term gain here.

Filosofikal Sun 26-Jun-16 23:09:06

Of course not x2

Tell them you don't wish to contribute - don't give a reason or excuse just politely decline.

Celticlassie Sun 26-Jun-16 23:09:28

Why don't you want to contribute? Is it because you don't get on with this person and don't want to wish them well, or is it because you weren't consulted?

OhStacey Sun 26-Jun-16 23:09:55

YANBU but really for a tenner in a new job I would do it.

Floggingmolly Sun 26-Jun-16 23:11:01

Op has known the person three days! She doesn't have to wish them well in the form of a leaving present.

acasualobserver Sun 26-Jun-16 23:11:42

I think it's because the OP has only worked with this colleague for a very short time.

BerylStreep Sun 26-Jun-16 23:14:57

Just say you don't really know her, so won't be contributing to the gift. Can't see that it is a problem.

Choceeclair123 Sun 26-Jun-16 23:15:10

YANBU you've only been there for 3 days. If I had been collecting I wouldn't have asked.

Archduke Sun 26-Jun-16 23:17:04

I think you should contribute. It's only a tenner and if you don't everyone in the office will think you're a cheapskate.

You will have been there almost 2 weeks won't you? (which clearly isn't long but think of it as an investment in friendly office relations)

gamerchick Sun 26-Jun-16 23:17:37

Just say you're skint because you haven't been paid yet and you can't afford for someone to put it in because you have bills to catch up on.

MrsJoeyMaynard Sun 26-Jun-16 23:19:10

You shouldn't have to - I think it was a bit off you being asked to contribute, when you've not even been there a week - but having said that, unless it was going to leave me out of pocket, I'd probably contribute anyway to avoid getting off on the wrong foot with the rest of your new colleagues.

farageisacunt Sun 26-Jun-16 23:21:16

No. You don't have to and they shouldn't have asked you.

You don't know the person.

Onehellofaride Sun 26-Jun-16 23:21:18

YADNBU but I would anyway. Massively contradictory I know but I would.

RepentAtLeisure Sun 26-Jun-16 23:41:05

If you can afford it, it's just easier to participate. People can have very long memories over this kind of thing, even though it's irrational.

But if you can't afford it, just have a discreet word with the person organizing it. Say you only just started working there and finances aren't straight yet.

TanTanNubuck Sun 26-Jun-16 23:50:46

YANBU, but I know I'd end up contributing anyway. It's unfortunate that they asked you.

Xmasbaby11 Sun 26-Jun-16 23:54:02

Gosh I've never given so much for a leaving present. If we do a whip round for presents it's usually 1 or 2 maximum but no expected amount.

Yanbu. You shouldn't have been asked. I wouldn't pay.

Alasalas2 Sun 26-Jun-16 23:58:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yummumto3girls Mon 27-Jun-16 00:14:35

Totally unfair of them to ask you and put you in this position. That's a lot of money for each person to contribute!

Princesspinkgirl Mon 27-Jun-16 00:18:27

Although I agree your a new employee new to the team I would just do it due to the fact id want to make a good impression

HooseRice Mon 27-Jun-16 00:47:00

Happened to me but the whip-round was for the family of a colleague who tragically died in a RTA the Friday before the Monday I started.

I paid the £10.

No I wouldn't contribute £10 towards a brand new colleague's collection.

MidniteScribbler Mon 27-Jun-16 02:43:38

You shouldn't have to, but with the politics the surround office collections, if you can afford it, then I'd just chip in and write it off for the sake of workplace harmony in your new job.

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