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Nothing to do with EU - am I a tight arse?

(51 Posts)
IDoAllMyOwnStunts Fri 24-Jun-16 23:33:16

So DD (14) asks if her and another friend same age can do one of those Pretty Muddy 5k things in a few weeks time. No problem - £10 each child.

She then says they need an adult to go round with them as they are under 16. Other girls mum cannot take them as she is away that weekend. So I thought, ok, I will do it, as DD really wants to go.

The cost for me though is £20, meaning I'm spending £30 for me and DD, the other girl is spending £10. I am not arsed about doing it and am only going for DD.

So I tell DD that I will take her and friend around the course if we pay £20 total and her friend pays her tenner plus pays me £10 for half my admission.

DD says this isn't fair on her friend. I think I'm bring perfectly reasonable as her friend can't do it without me being there. Would you be put out at being asked to pay half of my cost so your child could participate?

DD won't even suggest this to her mate so we are at a stalemate.

Am I being a tight arse?

EastMidsMummy Fri 24-Jun-16 23:34:34


Griphook Fri 24-Jun-16 23:36:07


leccybill Fri 24-Jun-16 23:36:26

'Fraid so

originalmavis Fri 24-Jun-16 23:37:50

Tighter than a fishes derriere.

acasualobserver Fri 24-Jun-16 23:38:31

Unless £10 is going to make a big difference to your personal finances then, yes, you are being a massive tight arse. Spread some Pretty Muddy joy!

MarkRuffaloCrumble Fri 24-Jun-16 23:38:35

Yup, fraid so! Be glad your DD is into fitness and encourage her by joining in willingly.

user1466806302 Fri 24-Jun-16 23:38:37

Tbh if another mum came to me and said "Our kids can't do this without an adult, and the fee is £20 for me ,do you mind paying half?" or something like that...well actually if I found out my daughters friends mum was going too... and paying that much just for the sake of our daughters then I would offer to pay half and half! No I don't think you are being unreasonable, I would rather you do it than me for £10 LOL!

namechangedtoday15 Fri 24-Jun-16 23:39:50

Completely. You do realise it's for Cancer research?

MarkRuffaloCrumble Fri 24-Jun-16 23:40:55

If you know the mum and would get an opportunity to mention it you could say "it's £20, do you want to do it or shall I?" and hope she offers, but I can see why your DD doesn't want to ask.

Mrskeats Fri 24-Jun-16 23:42:59

Terrible plan

IDoAllMyOwnStunts Fri 24-Jun-16 23:46:21

Mark- the other mum can't go, she's away.

And yes of course I know it's for cancer research. They will still be getting their £20 whether I pay it all or what though confused.

NarkyKnockers Fri 24-Jun-16 23:51:18

I think it's tight tbh. When I look after friends kids I will generally take them places/feed them etc and often spend more than £10 and their parents do the same. I think the other mum should offer but in your position I would decline. I'm sure it will balance out if your dd sometimes does things with her friends family.

Birdsgottafly Fri 24-Jun-16 23:53:10

Are you really short of £10?

If not, then just put the question as suggested, but if nothing is offered, I would leave it at that.

Unless it's a massive part of your food budget, you would be, being incredibly tight.

IDoAllMyOwnStunts Sat 25-Jun-16 00:04:52

No I'm not short of a tenner. I suppose I just feel I'm forced into doing something I'm not bothered about, and the whole thing will cost £30 instead of just £10 for DD.

But I accept most of you think my cunning plan is not as cunning as I thought. Bugger.

HeddaGarbled Sat 25-Jun-16 00:08:36

You are doing it for your daughter not the other girl. If the other girl wasn't coming, you would pay it all, yes?

If this is a pattern of the other parents expecting you to do and pay for everything, I take your point. If this is a one off, YABU.

PeggyMitchell123 Sat 25-Jun-16 00:09:52

Yes I think you are tight.

louisagradgrind Sat 25-Jun-16 00:35:48

I think, if I could afford it, I would rather pay than put my daughter in what she thinks will be an embarrassing situation.

Your other option is to withdraw your daughter from the event.

However, if you can't afford it or it will make things tight, then I can see why you're put out.

Canyouforgiveher Sat 25-Jun-16 00:44:52

Yes you are being very tight. I offer to pay for everything with my kids but it wouldn't occur to me to offer to pay half of the adult's admission.

So when a friend brings my kids to the cinema, should I offer to pay for half of the adult's ticket too? I'm pretty sure a lot of adults (including me) aren't going to the latest pixar by choice - they go to accompany their children.

If you can't afford it that is different - but I'm not sure how you'd get out of it without just withdrawing your child.

Otherwise, don't do it. The other mother will pay but she will think you are very tight.

KC225 Sat 25-Jun-16 00:46:46

Yes, and in the spirit of the day does your bottom squeak the national anthem?

PPie10 Sat 25-Jun-16 04:05:47

Tight and embarrassing that you think this way in any case. How stingy of you.

MaryDoloresOHoolihan Sat 25-Jun-16 04:30:37

Yes, you're being tight. Don't embarrass your daughter, please.

ProfessorPreciseaBug Sat 25-Jun-16 05:46:16

Would you pay the £20 so your own dd can do it if her friend's mum was going along?

Basicbrown Sat 25-Jun-16 05:55:49

Hahahaha I can't get over the replies to this. I'd pay your full 20 quid and buy you a bottle for the trouble.

Travelledtheworld Sat 25-Jun-16 06:08:38

Yes being a bit tight in this situation.
Hopefully the other Mum will reciprocate by taking your daughter to the cinema or similar treat ?

Good Luck with it by the way !
Will it wreck your shoes ?

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