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AIBU?

Dog went for baby

31 replies

ParisGellar · 24/06/2016 13:11

Wwyd rather than aibu but in need of advice

My mums normally quite placid Lhasa apso has just gone for my baby

He was on the couch next to my mum. The baby (13m) walked up to my mum arms outstretched to be picked up and the dog growled and squared up to the baby

My mum moved the baby away asap and nothing happened but I think he would have bitten him

This isn't the first time the dog has growled, it's the third but the first time he's looked like he may attack

Wwyd? My mum now wants rid of the dog. The dog is locked out away from the baby now behind a baby gate

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Aeroflotgirl · 24/06/2016 13:14

I would not let your baby near the dog. Mabey she could visit you for the time being

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MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 24/06/2016 13:19

I don't blame your mum for wanting to get rid. I wouldn't be taking my child back there until it's gone.

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worrierandwine · 24/06/2016 13:24

I wouldn't risk it, I remember a boy at school getting attacked by their family dog and it almost ripped his nose clean off.
We have a dog and my DD1 (almost 4) adores him but if he ever showed any signs of aggression I wouldn't hesitate to rehouse him.

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1pink4blue · 24/06/2016 13:27

2 years ago my 14 month old was attacked by our 6 year old dog and he now has horrific scars.
never put your baby at risk by even having the dog in the same room.
let your mum rehome the dog
my sons attack was over in seconds and now he is scarred for the rest of his life
our dog was put down the same night

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WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 24/06/2016 13:32

I think your mum is right to keep the dog in a different room.

As long as this is manageable, then it shouldn't be a problem.

If your mum and the dog are happy with this, then it should be fine.

Sounds like your mum is looking for a sensible solution.

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contrary13 · 24/06/2016 13:36

When I was a baby - few months old, so literally a baby-in-arms - my grandmother's corgi went for me. I was being held on my grandfather's lap when the corgi just... lunged. I'm 40 now and I still have a mark from where one of her canine teeth caught me, slightly, as my grandfather whisked me out of the way (it could have been one hell of a lot worse, in other words!). I don't remember it in the slightest, other than the mark on my arm.

Years went by.

My younger cousins were toddling, the corgi was still going... she bit one of them on the face. He will always have a very prominant scar on his cheek because of it. There was no one there to whisk him out of the way, at the time and it caused a huge rift in the family until after the corgi had died.

As someone who grew up with dogs on a daily basis, as someone who has a dog whom my own children have grown up with on a daily basis... your mum is doing the right thing. Not all dogs are suited to being around small children/babies, irrespective of their breed. Support your mum in this and, for goodness sake, trust your own instinct. You, yourself, said that you think the dog would have bitten your baby.

That's a dog better suited to a home where no one - including it - is ever going to be in that situation again. Because, in all seriousness, if my grandparents had been as aware as your mum is, my younger cousin wouldn't have a huge scar on his face (he's now 34, and even though he was 2 at the time, it's hugely prominent!).

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FoxInABox · 24/06/2016 13:41

I think your mum is right in wanting to rehome the dog- it is too much of a risk. I'm glad she is taking it seriously.

My PILs dog tried to nip my then newborn babies head. Luckily i pulled her out of the way so just his nose caught her, and she cried for over an hour. MIL was there when it happened, and was in shock too. She agreed to always have the dog in the back garden when we went around. FIL wasn't there, and being the narcissistic idiot he is, decided I was completely wrong about what happened, and everytime we went round he would let the dog back in, meaning my nerves were gone and I couldn't leave quick enough.

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NeedsAsockamnesty · 24/06/2016 13:43

The dog belongs to your mum, she wants rid because she feels that's the sensible way to make certain your child is safe.

Why is this even a issue for you?

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MunchCrunch01 · 24/06/2016 13:46

If she could manage it so the dog is shut upstairs it'd be fine but I can see why he'd be a case for re-homing, a dog that was a risk for biting my grand-child would be one that I'd want re-homed, totally understood.

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lucy101101 · 24/06/2016 13:46

Your mother is right.

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cozietoesie · 24/06/2016 13:49

She might also not feel entirely comfortable with the dog now with regard to herself.

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pinkladyapple · 24/06/2016 13:49

I think rehoming the dog, as sad as it is, is a good idea. Locking the dog away is practical and obviously what needs to happen but in the long term the risk is still there as all it takes is someone to go into that room/garden and accidentally let the dog in.

My PILs dog tried to nip my then newborn babies head. Luckily i pulled her out of the way so just his nose caught her, and she cried for over an hour. MIL was there when it happened, and was in shock too. She agreed to always have the dog in the back garden when we went around. FIL wasn't there, and being the narcissistic idiot he is, decided I was completely wrong about what happened, and everytime we went round he would let the dog back in, meaning my nerves were gone and I couldn't leave quick enough.

Personally I wouldn't go round at all after that.

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Benedikte2 · 24/06/2016 13:51

Support your Mum in her decision. You will never forgive yourselves if baby is harmed and young children scar so easily. If the dog is rehomed by reputable organisation it can be kept safe and so can any potential victims. Your mum isn't proposing to have the dog put down

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branofthemist · 24/06/2016 13:51

There is nothing for you to do. Your mum wants to regime the dog. She is right.

Mils dog attacked my Dd. He but her head and detached her ear where the ear meets the skin of her head.

Mil refused to get rid of the dog. We no longer visit

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WalkingBlind · 24/06/2016 13:52

The dog seems to have some jealously/protection issues around your mum, this could be due to the attention it gets or it could be that way inclined. (However small dogs that get a bit spoiled are far more likely to act like this).

It is totally feasible to just lock the dog in the kitchen or an outdoor kennel while you visit. But if her relationship with the dog is now affected then rehoming may be necessary, make sure to tell the rescue to not rehome with children.

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SaveSomeSpendSome · 24/06/2016 13:53

My mums dog bite my step sisters daughter on her face when the child was about 2 years old.

My mum told my step sister to stop her daughter from grabbing the dog. She made 3 very pathetic attempts to tell her daughter to leave it alone and then the dog snapped and bite the toddler in the face.

She had afew stitches at A&E but the dog was never put down. It wasnt reported either.

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Cloudspider · 24/06/2016 13:56

Never take a risk. If there is a good dog behaviour expert (dog whisperer) in your area its worth a try. Sounds like it thinks it's protecting your mum. The expert would advise if it's possible to change its behaviour and what to do if not re-home.
Good luck op

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Nivea101 · 24/06/2016 13:56

I'm thinking when you're not there the dog is your mum's baby and it is jealous of your little one when your mum gives it a cuddle.

My daughter and her husband had a dog that they treated like a baby but when they had a child they had to get rid of the dog as it's nature changed and it was aggressive and frankly bloody scary.

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ParisGellar · 24/06/2016 13:58

We spend a lot of time at my mothers house and the dog isn't happy being behind the gate, whinges and cries the whole time

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sizeofalentil · 24/06/2016 14:02

How old is the dog? If you didn't want your mum to rehome it and it's a middle-aged dog or older then you could possibly keep them apart for the next few years until it passes away.

However, if it's a younger dog rehoming it would be fairer all round.

If you want to give your mum the green light to rehome the dog you shouldn't feel guilty at all. Trust your instincts.

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Arfarfanarf · 24/06/2016 14:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stormtreader · 24/06/2016 14:07

"We spend a lot of time at my mothers house and the dog isn't happy being behind the gate, whinges and cries the whole time"

That doesnt surprise me, the dog sees itself as the protector of your mum and isnt happy it cant do that, unfortunately that just isnt going to work with children or vulnerable people in the house.
I love animals, but the dog whinging for a few hours while youre there wont hurt it.

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Abinob · 24/06/2016 14:08

My nans dog bit me when I was a toddler and I have scars on my face still (not that noticeable though, they're like dents)
Actually it was my mum's dog and bit my older brother first so went to live with my nan then bit me Hmm

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Leopard12 · 24/06/2016 14:11

Its up to your mum what she decides, I think it might be harder to rehome because of the potential issues and I'd feel nervous rehoming as even if no current children, visitors, extended family etc may visit the new owner too, baby gate/closed room seems a good option as it will probably be fine when the childs older, maybe it would winge less if it couldnt see/hear you? Or make sure it has favourite toys/treat/food to keep occupied, hope you find a solution your both happy with.

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londonrach · 24/06/2016 14:16

Your mum is right and amazing gran to put her grandchild before her dog. If she kept the dog the risk will always be there. One slip up and the door is left open. Shudder. No your mum is a very sensible lady. Dog would be happier in a home without children by sounds of it.

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