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to find life hard with DC and X

(5 Posts)
Costaflyby11 Thu 23-Jun-16 20:46:20

First off I kind of know I am being unreasonable, or to put it another way, I know my DC is very lucky to have 2 parents that although separates love him very much and are great parents

The thing is I'm just feeling a little sorry for myself really, I recently upped my hours at work to nearly full time, my DC will be starting full time school in September, and when not with me he spends most of his time with his dad

I know it's totally unreasonable but I just feel so hard done to that I can't just spend all my time with DC!! (I absolutely know I'm not hard done to!) I'm just indulging in a bit of self pity! I feel annoyed at x that if he'd just been better we could still be together and I wouldn't feel like I missed DC so much! I feel annoyed at myself that I'm some how not richer and able to not work or that I don't have a better job where I can work less hours!

I work shifts so do 2 12 hours on 2 off, which means I don't see my DC for 2 1/2 days at once, I miss him so much and I feel like he's going to grow up not loving me as much as he would if I was with him all the time!

I'm a big believer that fathers should have the opportunity to have as much involvement in C life as mothers, but I find myself annoyed at him because he gets to spend time with DC when I don't! Which is ridiculous I know!

I hate not being with DC and I worry all the time that something will happen to me or him when we're apart and I won't see him again which again I know is ridiculous and I know really it's not my x's fault, and it's great that he's such an amazing dad and that DC loves him so much, I think as a mother I secretly want to be the most important person in DC life, and I just feel that he's growing up so fast and I'm losing him! I'm sure my x misses him just as much as me when I have him!

I'm ranting now, I felt like I just needed to get it out! Sometimes it's just hard isn't it? sad

Costaflyby11 Thu 23-Jun-16 20:51:02

I just want to clarify, I know this is just how life is and I have (a massive) list of things to be grateful for, which I am extremely grateful for! And I'm in a great position compared to an awful lot of people in life, so please don't think I'm being ungrateful, it just makes me a little sad sometimes x

itsbetterthanabox Thu 23-Jun-16 20:53:13

You should share the fun times and the everyday stuff.
So you each have a weekend with your dc and you also share doing the school runs and getting ready etc- the day to day stuff. You ex shouldn't just get the relaxed parenting.

Costaflyby11 Thu 23-Jun-16 22:38:40

I agree, it's a pretty fair split really with responsibility although x has a bit more money than me so seems to be able to buy him more things and take him more fun places! I know that's not what it's all about but id' like to be more able to do such things

I'm currently on my 2 days on at work in quite a stressful job where I have a lot of chance to think about it and feel sorry for myself! confused

Costaflyby11 Tue 28-Jun-16 00:09:18


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