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To have hurt feelings over something this silly?

(4 Posts)
Nanunanu Thu 23-Jun-16 15:10:34

I have been friends with a group for over a decade. My housemates became friends with dp's housemates and that is how I met dp.

So friend 1 and 2 had children first. And as a group we got them a collection of presents. We needed fertility treatment so friend 1 was actually on to her 4th pregnancy by the time I was preggers . No presents for children 2 and 3 (twins). I also didn't get any presents but wrote it off in my head as we had stopped doing it as a group. Then friend 3 had her first child and presents were bought again.

So out of the 4 of us who have had a first child 3 have been bought presents and 1 has not. And I'm the one that has not. I've taken part in all collections willingly. All meet ups that didn't clash with eg giving birth I've gone to.

But hardly anyone came to my dd's christening. Only friend 2 who was dd's godmother.

I don't want presents but some recognition, a card maybe would have been nice. Some of these friends I have known since I was 11.

I think I'm just mourning friendships that meant more to me than them. I don't want to flounce off, but there's a big meet up in September and I don't know why I am going. I think I need to let the friendships go. Recognise they have died and concentrate on better closer ones.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Thu 23-Jun-16 15:14:48

Not unreasonable to be a bit hurt, no. You have your own answer in the last paragraph. No need to fall out with them as such.

Brightnorthernlights Thu 23-Jun-16 15:16:02

Could it be that the others are closer to each other? Seems a shame to lose such a long standing friendship, without first trying to find out if it was just an oversight (though no excuse).

Nanunanu Thu 23-Jun-16 15:47:58

How do you check if it was an oversight without seeming really grabby? Friend 1 sent us a little lovely card and dress when dd was born. As we had for her for her twins and did for number 4.

Friend 3s dc was born just before out spring meet up in April. So she couldn't attend. Friend 4 organised the collection and delivery of presents although more grudgingly than she had with friend 1 or 2. Along the lines of 'we better had or she'll make a big deal of it'.... so I felt really unable to express how being left out had made me feel. All a bit childish I think on my part.

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