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Overly friendly neighbor

(9 Posts)
kk321 Wed 22-Jun-16 20:59:21

This guy I'm dating: lives next door to a now divorce'. She borrows his stuff, asks for his help, she has the code to his house, her kids call him "uncle" and she's over or texting him weekly - biweekly if not more. He nick names her NG for "neighbor girl". When she stops over she always gives him a kiss on the lips and says, "hi honey" or "hi sweetie".
Me: I've never really gotten to know my neighbors. I'm friendly - say or wave hello, smile, give the guy & his wife a thank you bottle of wine at Christmas with a note saying, "thanks for snow blowing my sidewalk!" and if any of my neighbors wanted assistance in a jam, I would certainly help them. But I dont go out of my way to "know them". I've always can pick your friends but you can't pick your neighbors. I dont need to know all about their dirty laundry. Call me anti social but I bought my land and it has "boundaries". And I like to think of that space as "my sanctuary" where I invite those I want into that space. Otherwise, I prefer to just chill out. And for the record, I dont kiss even my "guy friends" on the lips. I think she is out of bounds and while he claims she is "not his style" and he's "not interested", I think he is giving her mixed signals that it's ok and he "has no boundaries". I trust him, that's not the point. I've dated him on/off for 3 years and I dont really know her. You'd think if they are that close, I would know her.
Regardless, I just think that neighbors should be "seen and not heard". Respect each others' space. Respect the boundaries and if you are a woman, let the guy seek YOU out. I think in this case, she is flirting. She is testing the waters, throwing the line in to see if he'll bite or change his mind. He's not interested - he won't change his mind....but he gets annoyed with me and defends her so we get in a disagreement because I'm not as accepting of her and I'm not the overly friendly neighborly type.

GeekyWombat Wed 22-Jun-16 21:03:00

Why were you on/off? Has he cheated before? Is there a reason for your concern?

AnyFucker Wed 22-Jun-16 21:03:05

The problem is not his neighbour

hotdiggedy Wed 22-Jun-16 21:05:49

She has what code to his house?

People are strange. Is this in England? It all sounds like an American TV drama.

LazyJournalistsQuoteMN Wed 22-Jun-16 21:08:14

None of that sounds "normal" to me. I would get a new boyfriend! grin

Lovepancakes Wed 22-Jun-16 21:09:44

If my boyfriend kissed anyone on the lips I'd run a mile!

kk321 Wed 22-Jun-16 21:29:10

He's a widower - 3 years ago - initially there were just a lot of extra challenges with that.
I also was cheated on prior to meeting him so there were a lot of issues between us that needed sorting out. We took a year break. I honestly don't believe he'd cheat on me.

kk321 Wed 22-Jun-16 21:30:46

She & her kids watch his birds & fish when he travels - although he has two step children that are more than happy to help...he asks her out of convenience because she lives next door.

Penfold007 Wed 22-Jun-16 22:22:39

So you got together shortly after he was widowed and you've been in an on/off relationship. She isn't your problem.

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