Namechanged so this isn't linked to my usual name if I'm recognised.
The background is that my aunt and uncle raised me since I was 9 years old as my mum died and my father wasn't around. I am very grateful that they took me in and I know I owe them so much for it. However their family dynamic was different from what I was used to. I had been raised just going to church on Sunday but not really thinking about religion too much otherwise. My aunt and uncle are very stricly religious. They HE my cousins (and me when I lived there) with a very religious program. They believe that men are the dominant sex and work etc and women have babies and raise the children. Weddings are a big deal as once you marry you are promised for life as they don't believe in divorce (If anyone has watched 19 kids and counting on tv it's like that with slightly less kids)
We live 6 hours drive away so we only see them once a year. However this suits my family really as DH and I are atheist and we don't want our DCs influenced by some of the sexism etc within my aunt and uncles house.
So to the point one of my cousins is getting married in the summer. My aunt and uncle are paying and arranging most of it. They invited DH the DCs and me a month ago and said that we could stay in the family home for the weekend of the wedding. We accepted and DH booked the time off for that weekend which means we won't get a family holiday this summer.
My uncle called DH while he was at work and said that the arrangements have changed and they want us to stay for a week. DH said sorry but he can't take that many days off.but he could still attend the wedding and he would ask me if I could go down for the week with the DCs.
Admittedly I expected them to call and because they would need someone to care for their younger DCs and GC while they sort the wedding stuff and the other older cousin's are all a part of the wedding themselves.
We called them to ask for more details of what they wanted. They told us that they wanted us to care for the younger DCs. I said I would go with the DCs and DH could come for the weekend. My uncle said no either DH comes for the week or he doesn't come at all. I said I would have to think about it as I would like DH to be there. He has already booked the time off and I would like him to help with our DCs so I can also enjoy the wedding. Uncle said that DH wasn't invited and if I don't come for the week they will be very upset and disappointed and my rethink my place in the wedding and as a part of the family unit as being a part of the family means working with each other. They also pointed out how good they were too me and how they still include me in everything despite our different lifestyles.
I don't know what to do for the best. I don't want to upset any one they are the only extended family I have. But I would like to spend at least the weekend with DH as he has used the last of his time off. DH said if I want to go he doesn't mind but he would rather spend his time off with his family. I am also annoyed that they changed the arrangements and are now being difficult.
So AIBU to want DH there and what should I do.now to sort this all out.
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AIBU?
Uncle uninvited DH from wedding
120 replies
NCchicken · 22/06/2016 20:08
OP posts:
hesterton ·
22/06/2016 20:10
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fuckincuntbuggerinarse ·
22/06/2016 20:44
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