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Disabled/baby change

(586 Posts)

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Babyred457 Wed 22-Jun-16 13:10:20

Have NC for this as I have spoken to friends about it and don't want to be outed!

DH and I are members of the gym and pool at a local hotel and take baby DS (4 months) swimming there. It's not a large pool and has small communal changing rooms for men and women and then a separate family/disabled changing room. This is the only one with a baby change table and nappy bin so it's the one we always use when we take DS. It has 4 lockers in it so obviously if you use them then you take the risk that you might have to wait for someone else to finish before you can get in and get your stuff.

Today when we were swimming there was only one other person in the pool, a woman in her late 50s/early 60s. We left the pool and went into the family changing room and had just started getting DS changed when the woman started banging on the door, shouting that we had to let her in as she was disabled and this was the disabled changing room. DH opened the door, said that it was also the family changing room and that we were changing DS but that we'd be as quick as we could. She carried on shouting that we shouldn't be using the changing room, that she was disabled and we had to let her in. She was incredibly rude and was making such a scene that I said to DH just let her go first, so we wrapped DS in a towel and waited, poor DS was kicking off but so was this woman and I tend to back down when people challenge me. DH however was fuming and went and spoke to the manager (dripping everywhere!) who agreed that it was both a family and a disabled changing room and that it's first come first served, no one has priority.

FWIW the woman no obvious physical disability (although MN has taught me that not all disabilities are obvious) and I don't think there was any reason why she couldn't have waited five minutes, she was also extremely rude. Had she approached at the same time as us I'd probably have let her go first anyway but she saw us leave the pool and go in there with DS (you can see the changing room from the pool!) so clearly then took a deliberate decision to get out herself at that moment and start banging on the door in an extremely aggressive manner.

So who was BU? It's difficult because almost all the restaurants etc I go to have the baby changing facilities in the disabled toilets. I would always happily fold a buggy or get off a bus for a wheelchair user etc but should a person with a baby have to exit a disabled loo or changing room mid-change for a disabled person? After all what would the disabled person do if another disabled person was already using the facilities?

NapQueen Wed 22-Jun-16 13:16:23

Oh yanbu at all!!!!

I get that where facilities are provided specifically for those with disabilities then using them unnecessarily is quite rude. However the family, baby change and disabled users multifunctionality (is that even a word?) of the cubicle means between all of those it is suitable for its first come first served.

At a push I would have changed DS in there, grabbed our stuff and then took turns in a standard cubicle to get me and dh ready. However an attitude like hers would have just made me take my time.

Where I use a family/disabled loo if there is ever someone waiting who clearly isn't using it for baby changing I'd let them go first, but if I came out and someone with say a wheelchair was waiting I wouldn't be apologetic - the room is for my baby as much as them.

NeedACleverNN Wed 22-Jun-16 13:20:35

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AndNowItsSeven Wed 22-Jun-16 13:23:20

Yanbu however the hotel is v unreasonable and should have separate facilities for disabled people not make them share with baby cubicles.

AndNowItsSeven Wed 22-Jun-16 13:24:12

Wheelchairs are irrelevant people with autism may well need a larger changing room to allow a care in with them is just one example.

NeedACleverNN Wed 22-Jun-16 13:25:12

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Laiste Wed 22-Jun-16 13:25:36


FeliciaJollygoodfellow Wed 22-Jun-16 13:26:26

Which is also irrelevant as this woman clearly didn't have a carer with her confused

YANBU OP but it's shitty that there's only one family / disabled changing room.

TealLove Wed 22-Jun-16 13:29:35

You were good to let her in first! I wouldn't have

FucksSake Wed 22-Jun-16 13:31:26

I don't think YWBU. At all.

But you may get your arse handed to you on this thread.

FucksSake Wed 22-Jun-16 13:32:14

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ItWentInMyEye Wed 22-Jun-16 13:34:35


fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 22-Jun-16 13:37:23

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Jasonandyawegunorts Wed 22-Jun-16 13:38:53

Very clumsy

RandyMagnum Wed 22-Jun-16 13:40:06

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Babyred457 Wed 22-Jun-16 13:40:22

I'm not trying to start a bunfight, DH and I felt very aggrieved but then I wasn't sure if we were BU. I agree that the hotel should really have separate baby and disabled facilities but it's very small so I guess this is the only option. As I said in my original post it's the same in many pubs and restaurants we go to, the baby change is always in the disabled loo.

AndNowItsSeven Wed 22-Jun-16 13:40:51

I was talking in general terms re Asd and a carer.

MiffleTheIntrovert Wed 22-Jun-16 13:40:56

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OohMavis Wed 22-Jun-16 13:41:21

I wouldn't have vacated mid-change, especially after the banging and shouting.

Jasonandyawegunorts Wed 22-Jun-16 13:41:40


BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts Wed 22-Jun-16 13:42:30

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Buckinbronco Wed 22-Jun-16 13:42:52

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Jasonandyawegunorts Wed 22-Jun-16 13:43:03


BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts Wed 22-Jun-16 13:43:35

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BishopBrennansArse Wed 22-Jun-16 13:44:07

Oh yay.
Another thread pitching disabled people against families.
FWIW I believe your gym should have a separate disabled changing space and/or a change table in both male and female communal areas.

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