Endurance punishment and thoughts about it

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Will start by making it totally clear that I am not a fan.

I'm just wondering what thoughts and opinions are out there about this method of punishment mainly because for some reason recently I have been thinking about things in my childhood and I'm incredibly bothered by memories of these perticular punishments.

I'm not bothered (to the same level) by the horrendous beatings almost ritual humiliations and verbal and emotional abuse and things that even back then were none negotiable none subjective abuse that's sort of dealt with if that makes sense.

But I'm running around in my head things like the "you must lean down slightly and put your nose on this circle I have drawn and not move until I say so" or the " balence on this stool (bar stool I have a photo of it but person now describes it as a foot stool) on one leg with your arms straight out for as long as it takes me to feel you have been punished enough"

Those things almost appear to have had more of an impact on my emotional health than anything else, fwiw they also had no impact what so ever on my conduct if anything they made me worse even if it is hard to understand and define worse because I don't remember anything that I was caught for that was really bad but the way my childhood is reported by the person who was responsible for this stuff is that I was on a par with Charles Manson.

None of this is recent history it's all years and years ago and I have no idea why it's now playing on my mind, I guess I'm interested to know if anybody thinks this tyoe of punishment is reasonable or acceptable

[Kallyno]

I'm so sorry, NeedsASock, your childhood sounds absolutely dreadful. I don't think anyone decent would consider the sorts of "punishments" you have described as anything other than abuse. There's really nothing to discuss; you have described a nasty form of child abuse. I'm so sorry this happened to you, I hope you have good support.

[branofthemist]

I think what you describe can be as bad, if not worse, than beating a child.

It's a type of torture and humiliation as well as physically a suite.

[branofthemist]

abusive not a suite

[Paddingtonsmarmaladesandwiches]

I'm so sorry about your horrendous experiences. And they do sound horrendous to any normal decent human being. This kind of punishment is torture as far as I'm concerned. Wishing you continued strength and peace.

[Margrethe]

It's all dreadful. I am so sorry that this happened to you as s child. It was cruel. It was particularly insidious because it makes the child somehow complicit in their own punishment, and perversely required to punish themselves as long as possible.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

If anybody else had asked me anything about this happening to them straight up I would be very clear with no doubt that yes abuse.

It's just hard to get my head round it in the context of it being me and being something that been laughed about to me for years as if it was all some sort of joke

[Dustybinlydia]

I think they are an evil type of punishment.

Sorry you were put through that, op.

[BertieBotts]

It reminds me of things I read about in the horrible histories book Vile Victorians. If that puts it into context at all. It was held up against caning and strapping as being a cruel old fashioned punishment.

[StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine]

Gosh, it's every bit as awful as a beating - and probably as painful for many. :(

[Dustybinlydia]

My brother was caned in the 90s, BertieBotts. I now look back and think wtf. It was abuse.

You carry your childhood around with you for the rest of your life.
I hope you are ok, op.

[PausingFlatly]

Oh god, that's vile.

Agree with Margrethe, that there's an element of trying to make you complicit in the abuse.

Don't know if this makes any sense, but is it to do with the fact that, in order to meet the demands of the punishment, you have to draw on resources inside yourself of endurance and courage and strength - which in a good cause and done voluntarily, would be associated with heroism and something to be proud of?

But in this instance are being perverted by the punisher to what you are aware all the time is a bad cause? And further, are associated with shame and failure even when you don't understand the "crime". And all your "achievement" does is enable the punisher to carry on punishing you.

So that it associates what should be "virtues" - courage and strength - with guilt, shame, "badness", etc.

Sorry, that's my first thought but it may be utter garbage.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

I think a lot of it was that I used to be incredibly clumsy balancing was an issue for me so it was just one more stick to beat me with from a very twisted individual

[MangoMoon]

Endurance type punishments, stress positions and suchlike are so incredibly awful they're recognised methods of psychologically & physically breaking down captives in brutal interrogations.

To do that to a child or someone in a subordinate position is exceptionally cruel & sadistic in my mind.

I'm so, so sorry that you have been subjected to that (as well as the other things you listed).
I have no words to help, I'm sorry, but please know that it is very wrong

[PausingFlatly]

Sock.

[Birdsgottafly]

These aren't punishments, there a form of physical and psychological torture.

There has just been a case, where the two year old was killed and the Brother was put through this. In the case it has rightly been classed as torture.

It's used and has been used in all types of (concentration/forced labour) 'Camps'. It 'breaks' the Victim.

[OohMavis]

The word you're looking for here is torture. Actual, defined torture.

I'm so incredibly sorry they did that to you. And I'm not at all surprised you're re-living it.

The abuse I received as a child was purely physical - beating, starving and verbal. The emotional aspect of that treatment was coincidental as far as they were concerned. What you were subjected to was intentionally meted out to cause you emotional harm. The utter bastards.

[havemercy]

socks your post has made me cry. It's horrific. I can't even read the thread.

The 'punishment' was barbaric and sadistic and designed to humiliate.

I agree with the poster who called them bastards.

I hope that life is kind to you now.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

'Stress positions' are used in torture. So yes, you are allowed to feel just as angry, sad and horrified as you do. I'm angry for you.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

(((hugs)))
I have to agree that this was torture.

Thinking about why these abuses have stayed with you more than the beatings, I wonder if it's mybe to do with how the brain reacts? Perhaps in a beating the brain 'runs away', but in this type of abuse the brain can't do that, it has to stay and concentrate, focus on what you're being forced to do? I sincerely hope the subhuman responsible for all this is no longer in your life.

[pointythings]

This is torture pure and simple. The person who did this to you is a monster.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

I have little to do with the person responsible don't think ive even seen them for a fair few years and before that it was a once a year thing. Perhaps I talk to them twice a year.

No great drama or conversation or anything no but flounce or anything I just intentionally keep myself the other end of the country.

The person concerned is unwell at the moment possibly on their way out and I'm pretty sure the only feeling I shall have when they do go is about the lack of apology or acknowledgement, every single member of my family acknowledges how I was treated they recognise it including my siblings who wernt treated in the same way.

This person thinks she was Mary poppins and a good contender for great mother of the world type thing.

She once came close to an apology she said "I'm sorry you feel I treated you badly but you were the most vicious dishonest dreadful person ive ever come across in my life" then sent me a letter detailing my failures (it ran to about 10 A4 typed pages.

Not once in it did she even come close to saying that she was anything less than perfect.

Fwiw I do not have a juvenile criminal record and whilst yes I was expelled from several schools it was usually more about them not being able to meet my needs due to a disability and what I now know to be fairly mild naughtiness on my behalf, whilst as a kid I was usually considered to be tought as old boots and incredibly stoic by adults and kids I was well liked and usually considered to be ok.

[PausingFlatly]

Oh god, Sock, you don't need to justify or defend yourself to us.

What you say about that person's behaviour is more than enough to know it wasn't you. It really, really wasn't you.

There is no part of abusing another human being like that - and the LAUGHING about it later - that is because of you.

She was good at finding the easiest ways to harm you - balancing was hard for you so she picked that. But she would have found other ways to harm you regardless.

[Arkhamasylum]

You didn't do anything, Sock. You were at the mercy of a creative sadist and child abuser. As others have said, this was torture.

The absolute fuckers. You are blameless and deserved so much better.

All my thoughts.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

It's hard sometimes when someone challenges almost every memory you have

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Back when I did visit I used to watch her with my sister and sisters child, I like the kid he's interesting fun and shall we say sprited and a bit of a handful I would watch my sister make any attempt to disapline him all perfectly normal rational totally none abusive stuff then watch the women override her.

My sister was the golden child but it looks like her child has taken over this status and the woman called her abusive for using a stern tone with him and actually butted in with 'oh mummy didn't mean it you can tip your water all over the table if you want'
It was odd but strangely enlightening about her thought process