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AIBU to think i should have punched this guy in the face

(24 Posts)
XIIILC Tue 21-Jun-16 10:06:08

Walking home from dropping my son off at nursery this morning and see a group of three guys, clearly drunk (not least because they had open bottles of beer in their hands), and one puts his arm out and around me and feels up my ass. I turned around almost literally growling and said, "excuse me, get your hands off me". I then shoved him away and went on my way, but I could hear them sniggering, then making crude comment about a young girl near me. I seriously felt like turning around and punching him in the face.

I considering reporting them but the nearest police station is by my flat about 35 minutes walk away so they'd be long gone. I'm just glad my son wasn't with me. Pissed off doesn't cut it, my parents always taught me not to put up with that shit.

Ineedmorelemonpledge Tue 21-Jun-16 10:29:22

Well YABU to commit a violent act but YANBU to want to contact the police.

Can you call them if it's not to late? Your experience was horrid, and someone else coming after you might also face something completely uncalled for too, and not have the confidence to call them out on it like you did.

Fucking idiots.

XIIILC Tue 21-Jun-16 10:41:20

Unfortunately I doubt the police would be able to do much. It was in a built up area but cctv for places probably doesn't stick out that far. This city is stretched pretty thin on police. The road I was is charmingly referred to as "the mutant mile"

Sadly it's not the first time that has happened. A couple of years ago my son threw a toy out his pram, I bent to pick it up and a gross drunk/druggie slapped my ass. Fortunately for me there were a few people around that shouted at him.

I'm usually quiet, polite, nice person, I'm not big built so I kind of just blend into the background, but I seriously do not like being touched at the best of times (I hate cuddles hand holding etc.all that).

XIIILC Tue 21-Jun-16 10:43:37

I might still contact them anyway though lemonpledge because of what you said, the next person might get it worse.

LurcioAgain Tue 21-Jun-16 10:45:11

Actually, given that he'd already physically assaulted you, I think legally you are allowed to resort to physical violence in self defence, so long as it's proportionate to the initial attack (so probably shoving was the proportionate response, thinking about it then going back and punching him would not stand up in a court of law!) There's also the issue of whether your actions would be safe - punching him when he was there with two mates - so three blokes, any one of whom is probably stronger than you - wouldn't be wise. You're certainly not unreasonable for wanting to punch him, IMO.

Anyway, well done for calling them out.

Ineedmorelemonpledge Tue 21-Jun-16 10:55:46

I always think it's worth logging a complaint. It's a serious matter and I don't think you're wasting anyone's time.

A few calls logged about a certain vicinity in the city must surely alert the police to go and check and area out?

XIIILC Tue 21-Jun-16 11:01:08

You're all right I would have bee n stupid to act on that impulse. It was just when I heard the comment about the young girl that really made my skin crawl. She couldn't have been older than 18. I assumed school age but she wasn't in any uniform. She did cross the road through and went into a shop and the guys didn't follow. Not sure if she heard the comment or not.

Birdsgottafly Tue 21-Jun-16 11:02:26

You were sexually assaulted in the street, you had a valid reason to call 999, especially if they were targeted more vulnerable Young/Women.

We've (in Liverpool) had roads/streets were 'street drinkers' have been anti social and assaulted people, it was stamped out.

It only continues if action isn't taken.

Birdsgottafly Tue 21-Jun-16 11:03:08

Just to add, you should log it.

DJBaggieSmalls Tue 21-Jun-16 11:04:32

You can report over the phone, it will be logged as an incident and included in statistics.
If there are a lot of reports about a specific street, then they will be able to allocate resources more easily to that are. Especially if alcohol is involved.

FlaviaAnsell Tue 21-Jun-16 11:13:17

Our local neighbourhood watch team says the police get quite frustrated when people don't report anti social behaviour; they say if they don't know about it, they can't deal with it.

Kitsa Tue 21-Jun-16 11:14:21

She is U to want to commit a violent act?
She was groped!
It would have been fucking self defense!

XIIILC Tue 21-Jun-16 11:19:23

birdsgottafly to be honest that makes sense but it simply didn't occur to me.

I phoned the local station and reported it, they've logged it and will look into it.

The thought also never occurred to me that they should not have been consuming alcohol in public. However I did think, "seriously, 9am on a Tuesday?"

Ineedmorelemonpledge Tue 21-Jun-16 11:19:38

It's self defence to walk back to someone after an incident and punch them in the face, is it?

Nope, it's not.

And whilst in my head I'm thinking, cut their bollocks off with a rusty Stanley knife type things, in reality in these situations the Op would either leave herself open to an assault charge, or invoke violence from the other two drunks to join in on the attack, or find out the nasty way that one of them, or all of them might be carrying a weapon.

XIIILC Tue 21-Jun-16 11:21:03

kitsa they're more referring to the fact that I briefly considered going back once I'd stepped away. That would have been an assault on my part

Babysafari Tue 21-Jun-16 11:32:12

You would have been justified in punching him because he sexually assaulted you. It might not have been the safest thing for you to do.

I'm actually thinking that you should have dialled 999 while they were still in the area, they'd have likely been arrested for drunk and disorderly and questioned about assaulting you.

You could also have tried to take their photo.

It definitely wants reporting. To often this kind of assault is minimised as something women just have to put up with. We shouldn't, but if we don't report things nothing will be done.

LurcioAgain Tue 21-Jun-16 11:37:42

Baby - if she'd swung a punch as an immediate response instead of shoving, then it probably would have counted as self defence (not clear cut, because the law is about the response being proportionate to the initial assault).

But, as XIIILC herself says, she contemplated (in an "oh god that guy deserves it", not in an "I'm actually going to go and do it" sort of way) going back and hitting him after he then went on to be verbally abusive to a young girl. This wouldn't come under the law concerning self defence, however understandable it is to want to do it (I have Natasha Romanov fantasies where I kick the shit out of sexual harrassers and they come to hours later, suitably chastened and not prepared to risk talking to any woman ever again - these are fantasies, I understand that I am not physically up to acting on them, and even if I was, they would be illegal, sadly!)

But I'm glad you've phoned the police XIIILC - like others have said, the police need to be able to build up a picture of these assaults and where they're happening.

Pendu Tue 21-Jun-16 12:19:49

Call 101 and report it. No need to trek to the station. It's assault.

I'd be darn tempted to do what you wanted (rightly or wrongly) and tbh I don't think women defend themselves enough to this type of assault , it's kind of brushed under the carpet.

XIIILC Tue 21-Jun-16 12:25:45

Thanks for all the responses, not sure I would have contacted the police had you all not given me the kick I needed. I've no friends or family here, and my partner is at work til 9 tonight so I'd probably forgotten all the details by the time he got home and told me to do it.

I just can't believe the disgusting behaviour some people have. There's no excuse

Birdsgottafly Tue 21-Jun-16 12:43:30

There's a Police alert for Women to come forward, in Acton, at the moment, it's 'groping', but this is still Sexual assault and as the Police know, it could escalate.

They will take this seriously.

SelinaMeyer Fri 24-Jun-16 13:21:53

Talking of which - a mate of mine was the victim of attempted sex assault a while back. She's in the forces, trained in unarmed combat, fit and strong as shit and beat the crap out of him. Punched him in the face, knocked him to the ground and then punched him in the balls when he was down there! Left him writhing in pain. She didn't report it to the police as she wasn't sure what they would do - thought it best she let the guy reflect on his experience before trying it on again smile.

QuietNinjaTardis Fri 24-Jun-16 13:33:18

I really want to high five your friend! ✋🏽

coco1810 Fri 24-Jun-16 16:22:14

Personally, I would have floored the barstool.

Junosmum Fri 24-Jun-16 17:00:10

That has made me very, very angry on your behalf.

I'm having an angry day.

I don't think I'd have been able to help myself but kick the bejeesus out of him.

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