Not sure what I'm asking for exactly, but here goes.
I've been in the UK for around 8 years now. When I first moved here, I was taken in by a local family - I was studying for my master's and was hired to help the dad with a work project in the same field (psychology), but very quickly started joining the rest of the family for meals, birthday parties and so on. My work and involvement there grew exponentially. They (well, my boss) told me that he and his wife though of me as their daughter but all grown up. It was an intense dynamic, made more so because my boss was an older dad who I think had real anxiety at not seeing his own (then six year old) daughter get to my age. They were incredibly supportive of me in lots of ways. I felt that they were like family. In retrospect they were very welcoming of a random twenty-something from the other side of the world landing on their doorstep.
Then it all went wrong. I'm still not exactly sure why. From my point of view, I felt like I was suddenly excluded from stuff. From their point of view (my boss said at the time), they felt that I was somehow pulling away or not that interested in them anymore. That doesn't really match my experience of things, but it was a very difficult, uncertain time for me - money worries, immigration worries, general "what the hell am I doing with my life" worries. I quit my job with him, and when he got in touch very soon after I asked him to please not get in touch, and that I'd do so when/if I wanted to.
A few years have passed. I'm now in a very different place - 30 years old, qualified in my profession, with my own home, about to get married. I live on the other side of London. I don't know whether it's my upcoming wedding, or my ropey relationship with my own mum and dad, or the fact that it was Father's Day yesterday, but I am suddenly very keen to get in touch with them again.
Should I just do it? I guess I'm scared that it'll be different to how it was, and that I'll somehow be disappointed with what I'll find. (I.e. the toddler who used to sit on my lap for cuddles must be a couple of years into prep school now; my former boss is now much more well-known and probably busier than he was after finishing the thing we were working on together.) I'm scared that they won't want to see me, I guess, or hold me at arms' length.
WWYD? Help me out on this rainy Monday.
AIBU?
...to get back in touch with the family I miss?
EssentialHummus · 20/06/2016 12:11
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I don't think I would. I can understand your reasons, but what do you want from them? An update of the family's lives since you left them, or to rekindle the relationship you had with them at that time?
Some things are best left in the past.
I'm very cynical, and I feel your Boss had developed issues with you being around; maybe feeling pressure to help you through your own issues at that time, or other reasons, such as the project was coming to a conclusion?
At the very most, I would send your boss a short, friendly update of your career and upcoming wedding, with thanks for their help and hospitality, but I wouldn't ask any questions that require a response from him, as you will be on tenterhooks waiting for a reply.
Well done you for getting to where you are now with your career and congrats on your marriage. 
Essential Hummus
In that case, together with the fact that you told your boss you would be in touch if/when you wanted to, then how about a brief update email to him, and see what happens next.
You don't say how long it is since you left, but working it out roughly I'd say 4/5 years? The daughter may not even remember you that well.
Perhaps you could also work on improving your ropey relationship with your parents to a more satisfactory level? You may even have your very own family to concentrate on soon.
All the best whatever you decide to do. 
Thanks Stay
Not sure how much hope I have with my own family (we're in contact, just not close at all, with not much chance of improvement there), but I think I'll think about things for a while longer - not least because there's the small matter of a wedding and honeymoon these next few weeks - then see whether i feel up to getting in touch with this lot.
Yes, the daughter may not remember me at all 
That has also gotten me crying.
plimsolls You're right - I know it's not a coincidence that all these feelings are coming to the fore in the week of my wedding (which my family won't be attending). And I think you're absolutely right that I'm vulnerable to being hurt if they aren't as keen on me anymore.
I think it's "Do nothing" for now, then see how much this is still on my mind when I am Mrs Hummus 
. I also have a long-suffering therapist that I'll be discussing this with.
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