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AIBU or could things have been much worse?

(15 Posts)
Disinterested Mon 20-Jun-16 11:06:37

Hi all, I would appreciate your opinions on an incident with my partner this weekend, as he seems to think that I am over reacting...

My partner and I went out on Saturday night. We went to my friend and her partner's house. I wasn't feeling great so my friend and I sat, chatted and had a couple of glasses of wine whilst my partner and her husband went to the pub down the road together. It got to around 11.30pm and I was feeling really unwell (have since had D&V and am off work today) so I called him and asked him to drink up as I wanted to go home, which he did.

However, when we picked him and my sister's husband up they were totally hammered, we liked the occasional drink but this was something else. He struggled to get out of the car, fell over in the road outside our house and I asked him to sleep in the spare room as his snoring would have kept me up all night and I was feeling really unwell. We were fine at this point, he went to the spare room and I had to go to the toilet downstairs when I heard an almighty crash. I went to the spare bedroom and there he was, lying on his back on the floor having fallen off of the bed/failed to get on it.

I was quite annoyed at this point and asked him to get up but he was ignoring/too pissed to understand me me and I could not lift him up. I left him there for around ten minutes, but my conscience got the better of me (having read so many stories of people choking on sick) and I eventually told him that until he got onto the bed I would have to sit up with him. He eventually got on the bed and I went to the bedroom, having brought him a glass of water up for the morning.

Sunday morning comes... He'd been sick in the bed and not woken up.

Now is where my AIBU comes from. I was absolutely furious with him and explained that I wasn't angry he was sick, but angry that if he was drunk enough to sleep through being sick, he was drunk enough to have choked on it whilst lying on the floor. He was apologetic about getting so drunk, but says I am over reacting and being melodramatic about the fact he could have died had I have left him on the floor.

I've cooled down and not so wound up now, and I am fully prepared to be told by you all that I am being dramatic about it, but was I being unreasonable!? That episode of Eastenders, where Carol's son died, kept playing over in my mind and I feel quite guilty that I was quite tempted to leave him there on the floor in my frustration. blush

Disinterested Mon 20-Jun-16 11:07:43

Doh, was trying to hide the fact it was at my sister's house as this is quite identifying but I slipped... nevermind!!

EveryoneElsie Mon 20-Jun-16 11:08:26

YANBU and he is minimizing the risks of his behaviour.

TheUnsullied Mon 20-Jun-16 11:11:15

YABU. Irritation that your DP had gotten far too drunk would be more rational but fretting about him dying is beyond over dramatic. Do yourself a favour next time and just set your mind at ease by leaving him on the floor in the recovery position in case he's sick.

Arkwright Mon 20-Jun-16 11:11:36

Yes it's dangerous. Who was driving if you had both had a drink?

branofthemist Mon 20-Jun-16 11:12:02

I think 'absolutely' furious is a bit dramatic, tbh. And I say this as a non drinker.

Yes we know the dangers of drinking. But most of us (I did when I was younger) have done this. Sometimes we don't realise how drunk we are, or maybe haven't drunk as much as we have done on other occasions.

I never went out with the intention of getting hammered, but it occasionally happened.

I would speak to him and tell him I don't like it when he drinks that much because of the dangers (such as choking) and go from there.

Although, this is assuming he doesn't do it all the time.

LazyJournalistsQuoteMN Mon 20-Jun-16 11:14:25

IF it was a one of, I would let it go. IF his drinking is becoming an issue, it needs to be addressed.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Mon 20-Jun-16 11:15:26

Damn. Lost my response.

I think you are overreacting. Being in the bed is not safer than being on the floor- I would have put him in the recovery position with a towel under his head, a glass of water and a blanket chucked over him. It kind of feels like you martyred yourself a bit.

Also Billy died from alcohol poisoning although I get where you're coming from!

Disinterested Mon 20-Jun-16 11:16:56

Hi all, thanks for your replies. I was totally prepared to be told I am being dramatic so thank you smile

TheUnsullied, we got a taxi. I walked with my friend (aka sister.... doh) to the pub down the road (it's 2 minutes away) and we were picked up from there. I don't actually drive.

I don't mind when he has a drink, I really don't, and now understand I was being dramatic regarding the choking part. I was just worried and horror stories were playing on my mind, probably doesn't help that I've been feverish. We are on perfectly good terms and there is no bad blood between us at all smile

Thanks again.

dowhatnow Mon 20-Jun-16 11:17:13

Just say that he gave you a big scare over what could had happened, hence your reaction but could he please not put either of you in that situation ever again. Then hug him and say that you are glad he's ok.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn Mon 20-Jun-16 11:17:14


DH did this a few years ago. Unfortunately I didn't even think of sick/choking until the morning, which I do feel bad about.

He went out with work, never drinks. Got absolutely hammered. I was in bed when he got home. Heard him crashing about downstairs and left him to it, can't remember if I heard him being sick, 99% sure I didn't but didn't go and check on him. In the morning I got up and had 2 year old DS with me and found DH on his front on the kitchen floor in his underwear with sick that looked like shit smeared all across the floor and the sink was also disgusting. Thankfully he had fallen asleep on his front and had clearly been sick and not woken. It makes me go cold to think of what could of happened actually. I had DS asking what was wrong with daddy, I could barely wake him up and I made him clear it up, I wasn't touching it! He tried to tell me he thought his drink had been spiked like mine was (uh no, you just never drink and had way too much and mixed stuff you don't normally drink nothing like when I actually had my drink spiked). I have made him swear never to get like that again, there is no need. Apparently it's quite infamous in his work and they ask if I was furious and if I'd be 'letting' him out again. hmm

Disinterested Mon 20-Jun-16 11:17:58

Oh, Felicia, I thought he choked on it blush. Makes my overreaction seem even more silly now!

TheUnsullied Mon 20-Jun-16 11:34:43

That's good to know Disinterested, but it was another poster who asked wink

Try not to work yourself up based on something you've seen on Eastenders. Bad things are significantly more likely to occur in soaps than they are in real life grin

Disinterested Mon 20-Jun-16 11:40:55

Ooops, TheUnsullied, this is why I lurk and don't post -- I'm not very good at it! grin

True, if I took Eastenders for gospel then he would probably have been more likely to have been having an affair with Lauren or come on to by Ben. Thanks again everyone.

3littlefrogs Mon 20-Jun-16 11:51:13

Learn how to put a person in the recovery position - it is easy and their weight doesn't matter. You should have done this, then left him on the floor.
He could have choked in the bed just as easily.

That said - if my DH had done this I would have been livid. However, he wouldn't because he is a responsible adult.

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