I feel as though none of my friends ever have anything nice or complimentary to say about or to me, yet are always complimentary towards each other, and I find it very hurtful. I am always nice about friends, and say nice things to them, compliment them on things and generally try to be an upbeat and positive person, and a caring decent friend. I know you shouldn't give to receive and I truly don't do that...however it is hurtful that no one ever has anything positive to say to me.
My friends, I find, fall into two groups; either friends that make honest comments all the time about me but the honesty is always negative honesty, and then friends who do not do this but whilst are nice and complimentary towards others, are not to me!
I will give a few examples.
Firstly one of my oldest friends, whom I have known since I was a teenager, said something years ago referring to me as "not that ugly", and I feel like our friendship always has undertones that she thinks I'm ugly as she regularly alludes to this. She is very negative about everything I do; and always has to piss on my chips about everything.
I have a group of 'mum' friends that I met through my DD's school. I have recently lost four stone in weight and not one person in this group of friends has mentioned my weight loss, even though I have mentioned a couple of times that I have been doing Slimming World and that I have lost four stone. When I said I'd lost four stone they all just sort of did that nodding, raise eyes type thing but none said so much as well done. I wouldn't mind so much if it hadn't been for the fact that another friend from that group of friends has lost two stone, and they have all gone on and on about how great she looks, how gorgeous she looks, and how she's done so well, even saying to me "doesn't she look amazing?" whilst not acknowledging my weight loss at all.
On Thursday last week it was sports day at DD's school and I stood with some of those mums (we all have daughters in the same year) and they were full of compliments about each others' daughters "X's hair looks lovely like that" and "Wow, Y ran so well in her race" but none of them said a word about my DD, even when she won her races.
Plus there is all the usual FB political stuff where very few people ever say anything nice about anything of mine, yet gush over one another's.
AIBU to find it all hurtful?
AIBU?
To be upset that none of my friends ever have anything nice to say about/to me?
YearlyFloralMug · 20/06/2016 02:11
Blimey, Yearly, these do not sound much like friends. YANBU to find their indifference hurtful.
You've lost FOUR STONE? Translating this into metric for my Australian brain, this is 28 kg -- an astounding amount. You must feel, and look, so amazing. What does it feel like? 
Sorry you are being overlooked and ignored. You are doing all the giving with nothing in return. Time to stop all that, focus on yourself and your brilliant return to fit form, and find some new friends via new activities. Go dancing or do a half marathon.
Sorry but they're not your friends. Do they bring anything to your friendship? Because I'd cut them off and start calling them out when they make their "honest" rude comments.
Life's too short to play the primary school friendship game again. Just free yourself and be happy.
Btw, losing 4 stone is amazing! Well done, and I bet you look fabulous.
First of all - massive congrats on the 4 stone weight loss, OP. That is incredible. Well done! I'm starting SW tomorrow - am a bit nervous about it tbh. I've got 4 stone to lose to get to my 9 stone goal and I'm dreading it. I have no willpower! 
It actually sounds like you're in a very cliquey group. It also smacks of undertones of jealously, to me. It's amazing what people can find to be jealous over and it's such a horrible trait. What's your life in general like, Yearly? Do you have a nice lifestyle, fab husband/partner, good job, fancy car, big house, children who achieve well, lovely holidays, expensive clothes, etc? Anything at all that might bring out the green eyed monster in others because maybe you've got it just that little bit better than them?
The weight loss is amazing and I bet you feel great. As others have said, these aren't friends I'm afraid. Your "oldest" friend isn't either, how awful to say you're not that ugly. I had a friend who referred to me as the gruffalo one night because of what I was wearing, she'd already started to piss me off with her pretentiou, shallow and materialistic outlook she had developed in recent years, but this comment was it for me. I've distanced myself from her, and although we are in a wider group of friends, I will not be close to her again. If she ever asks why we aren't close any more, I'll gladly tell her why. I'd advise that you do the se. Life's too short to be around people who make you feel like shit
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