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should exH pay half of childcare in addition to maintenance?

(23 Posts)
alificent Sun 19-Jun-16 22:54:03

ExH and I have a 9 year old together. Since we separated I've studied for a degree but I didn't ask him to contribute towards childcare then because I received a grant from university. From September my 9 year old and 5 year old will be attending different schools because 9 year old is being bullied, hates her school and desperately wants to move. 5 year old is settled and happy and doesn't want to move, nor is there a space for her and there's unlikely to be any time soon (12 people ahead of her on the list.)

ExH agrees that DD should move schools. However, both schools start and finish within five minutes of one another and are five miles apart. Therefore, I will have to use the before and after school club for DD9 which will cost £8.50 per day shock ExH is not willing to help with any school runs at all despite being able to. Aibu to ask him to pay half of the childcare costs as he needs the childcare as well as me, even though he pays (minimal) maintenance?

Familyof3or4 Sun 19-Jun-16 22:57:07

Easy. Yanbu

KamMum Sun 19-Jun-16 23:00:08

He def should but trying to actually enforce it might be a challenge.

PolaroidsFromTheBeyond Sun 19-Jun-16 23:01:14

YWNBU to ask. I would expect him to say no, however and you cannot force him. Usually the NRP only pays for childcare if it falls on one of 'their' days. It's not right but it's the way it is.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Sun 19-Jun-16 23:01:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MakeItRain Sun 19-Jun-16 23:04:07

I think only on days where he has your dd, so effectively he needs the childcare. It's never occured to me to ask for childcare money as well as maintenance, but then again my ex pays well below the recommended amount so it might just be I've always known it wouldn't be worth asking!

NoMudNoLotus Sun 19-Jun-16 23:04:48

It's fair to ask and reasonable to expect.

Happydappy99 Sun 19-Jun-16 23:05:22

It's in our consent order that we split all childcare bills 50/50 if it's because we're both working. If I had to pay all the childcare costs myself I couldn't afford to work.

Babyroobs Sun 19-Jun-16 23:06:19

Can you get help from tax credits for childcare?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sun 19-Jun-16 23:07:20

On the days he is looking after your DC he has to pay the childcare and he has to pick them up. Don't do it for him.

blondieblondie Sun 19-Jun-16 23:10:09

I wish I'd thought years ago to pull the plug on the childcare for the two days my ex picks up our son.

alificent Sun 19-Jun-16 23:11:08

No I can't get tax credits. He has her Sat-Sun EOW only. I think he should either have her more or contribute to childcare. In reality I doubt he'll do either as the current arrangements suit him better.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Sun 19-Jun-16 23:12:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Grilledaubergines Sun 19-Jun-16 23:14:44

I would have thought the childcare element of ctc will cover an element of the cost - up to 70% I think it is, so in which case the remaining cost would be £2.50 odd per day. Surely he won't object to paying half of that? It's an extra £20 odd a month.

Grilledaubergines Sun 19-Jun-16 23:15:40

Sorry, cross-post

Collaborate Sun 19-Jun-16 23:24:21

The others are correct. You cannot force him without a coat order within divorce. The court does have the power to order him to pay more child maintenance than the CSA would make him pay, but only by consent. Even then it lasts no more than a year before he can refer it to the CSA/CMS.

If you haven't dealt with the finances on divorce I suggest you do so now. You may find you get a bit more capital due to you taking on the burden of paying for the wrap-around child care.

Just5minswithDacre Sun 19-Jun-16 23:30:49

Are both DC his?

livinginabox Sun 19-Jun-16 23:45:30

Im amazed he does have to pay his fair share of childcare. How completely unfair. Yet another shocking example of how shit the system is and that it again disadvantages women.

sklooshy Mon 20-Jun-16 00:01:21

YANBU i know where you are coming from. Legally there is nothing you can do. It can be so tiresome to force the point that you eventually back down. Maybe try and write him a letter and post it to him with the costs and what his share should be if talking/texting is getting no where. Has he said no?

Babyroobs Mon 20-Jun-16 00:06:28

Grilled - Only people on the lowest incomes get 70% of their childcare costs paid by tax credits.

Grilledaubergines Mon 20-Jun-16 00:44:05

Oh really? Ok well that's changed then because when I was earning around £25k I was getting 70% paid. Albeit that was 11 years ago now.

chilledwarmth Mon 20-Jun-16 01:09:29

Isn't maintenance meant to be for childcare in the first place? I'm not really sure how it works for you guys.

Mari50 Mon 20-Jun-16 06:54:03

Re tax credits- not sure what OP earns but I would only get 20% of my childcare costs covered by TC so same as if buying childcare vouchers.

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