"Benefits scum" ***[[ quote marks added by MNHQ for clarity ]]

[TheseLittleEarthquakes]

I've had three separate conversations this weekend when this term has come up. My mother got wind of me applying for PIP and let me know in no uncertain terms that she thinks it's disgusting as DH earns a good wage, and I'm not actually 'disabled'.

Then my sister was complaining about the ratio of disabled spaces to p&c spaces and told me in a shocked way that you can get a blue badge even if you can walk, and that its scummy of people with MH issues for eg to have a blue badge. She said that benefits scum were making it hard for parents (wtf?).

And then thirdly my mum was having a bitch about her niece, who has never worked and has a child, and how she's living the 'benefits lifestyle' when benefits should only ever be a safety net and not a lifestyle choice.

I'm on ESA and have been for a over a year. I'm applying for PIP. I have quite serious MH issues.

AIBU to think my family are just utter arseholes and that all these comments are really fucking hurtful? I ended up just walking away from all three conversations because I don't have the headspace to argue with them.

[TheseLittleEarthquakes]

Anyone? I just need a rant and a bit of validation that it's them and not me, really.

[NeedACleverNN]

Blame the tele.

Whilst tv shows everything bad about being on benefits people will never change

Disabled and immigrants all suffer the same thing

They are shroedingers people

The take all the jobs whilst taking all the benefits too

[skivvywoman]

If you can't work due to your illness then not "scummy" at all

[NeedACleverNN]

But no your family are arseholes.

[KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes]

I was on ESA for a bit (nervous breakdown) and was properly ashamed.

Why? Why was I ashamed? Like I wasn't going through enough.

I didn't share financial information with anyone. Still don't.

[Sighing]

Yes. They're fuckwits. I'd steer clear, keep your energy for your own health, without family support it sounds as though minimal contact with these people is what you need.

[orangebird69]

I'm finding it hard to disagree with the opinions of the niece but otherwise, yes, they're arseholes.

[WorraLiberty]

You might need a rant, but you don't need validation.

They're being offensive, your thread title is offensive and quite frankly I wish to god people and the media would just give people on benefits a break.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Dump the lot

I have no idea why people associate with twats like that

[TheseLittleEarthquakes]

I'm sure if I'd challenged them they'd have said, 'oh I don't mean YOU', but I found it really upsetting that this is how they think. I already have a huge amount of guilt about my illness and not being able to work and these attitudes just compound it.

[greengreenten]

It is them. You're right.
Lots of people need benefits and blue badges because they can't work or as much as others for lots of reasons or can't walk as far. Maybe they could do one day of work and walk one mile but not every day and not reliably.

It's ignorance. Tough attitude to change in others. Health is easily taken for granted though. Physical and mental. You need to put yourself first and work out a way of coping with these people. I would suggest making it clear that it's just not up for discussion especially as they have been so rude.

[snowgirl29]

YNBU.

It's also a myth that bb badges are easily given. My Dad has suffered a heart attack and has COPD - had his bb took off him as he no longer qualified. Doesn't want to challenge it as stress can set his angina off. 80yo grandma also no longer qualifies, despite being, well, 80 and having two knee replacements.

Good luck with your PIP App OP. Don't play anything down and be completely honest with how your illnesses & disabilities affect you daily. I'm on ESA due to a long list of health problems but lost my PIP Appeal. Apparently people who have carved out a career for themselves and then get ill afterwards can't possibly need help often and didn't 'look' mental enough at the assessment

Like another pp said. Blame all the constant benefit bashing programmes for other peoples assumptions on this.

[dementedma]

Good luck with PiP. I hope you get it. Experience in our family is that mental health doesn't seem to be seen as an illness,by them, so expect to have to appeal.

[Mummyme1987]

People suck

[Mummyme1987]

And often these people are the first to claim if they get ill

[Mummyme1987]

[supermansmile]

These people will never change their attitudes, just take more care in choosing who you tell about benefits in future. I get PIP and ESA for my mental health problems and I don't tell anyone even my family. DH earns a good salary and they just assume I have no income as a sahm.

It's not that I'm ashamed of claiming, I'm fully entitled to those benefits as my health issues are severe, but I'm not going to waste my breath having arguments about the rights and wrongs of it, with people who have no idea about how the system works.

[LilySnape]

You have shows from Channel 4 and Channel 5 to thank for this they make Goady ill informed shows showing the worst of society's welfare claimants and then let the general public tar everyone with that brush too. Its sickening that its allowed to be broadcast and it just gives the goverment more support when they pull the saftey net from under people to save money because of the taxes they never pay looking at the 1% and the tories when i say that

[houseeveryweekend]

Stand your ground and be proud of yourself for being strong enough to get the help you need. You are entitled to those benefits they exist to help you. I like it in France where they have those signs up about people parking in the disabled spaces that say 'if you take my space then you can also take my disability'.... tell that to your family, do they want to swap and have serious mental health problems in return for a bit of money each week... i think when it comes down to it probably not. xx

[TheFairyCaravan]

I get PIP. I got it without any appeal or reconsideration so I thought "Fuck I'm really fucking disabled" when my letter came.

FIL told DH once that he didn't see why disabled people should get "free cars"! DH put him in his place saying he didn't see why people who buy £7k sofas (PILs) needed Winter Fuel Allowance. He, also, explained that Motability cars aren't free!

Blue Badges aren't given out automatically to people who qualify for enhanced rate PIP due to Mental Health conditions anymore. There's discrimination in the policy, you have to get your points for the moving around category. Here

[SoThatHappened]

Oh well that is me benefits scum too!

I lost my job last year and had to claim jsa for a few months.

I thought the point of benefits was to assist those who needed help!

[snowgirl29]

Are you taking anyone with you to the assessment OP?

Here's some pointers the arse assessor wrote on my report.

• can't be that nervous around strangers as my friend who came me only spoke for me once. I didn't want to look obtrusive.

• asked me if I could recall my diagnoses and operations, long term memory fine, short term one, shocking. Answered questions to be told in report that "memory appears to be fine because could recall ops etc".

-burst out crying twice during assessment - assessor put I was 'laughing and joking throughout'.

Those were some of the nicer points too.

[TheseLittleEarthquakes]

I'm either going to take my cpn if she's free or one of my friends. I'm dreading it.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

She has a point re her niece but other than that, yanbu total arseholes.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

I'm sorry but your mum and sister are arse holes who clearly must have too much time on their hands reading the daily mail and watching TV.