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To think DH is a total tosser...in this one thing?

(2 Posts)
Bringmevino Sun 19-Jun-16 19:36:28

I love my DH, he's great. But he's also incredibly fucking annoying! We've had a pretty shit weekend dealing with DS, almost 4, behaving like a bit of a crazed bugger. I tried to communicate with DH last night about how best to handle a situation and that completely loosing his shit in the middle of the street about a sodding ginger bread man, is perhaps not the most stress free way to enjoy the weekend.

DS gets excited about spending proper time with his dad at the weekends but DH has, IMHO a mobile phone addiction (he does run his own company and is crazy busy so perhaps I'm being mean?!). Anyway, I tried to explain to DH that there's no point taking the bait and getting into a shouting match with DS as it all it does is get the grown ups mega pissed off and stressed out. Now I'm obviously speaking from experience here being the person who looks after the children full time. I also tried to explain that DS is so happy to spend time with DH that he just wants his attention and not to come second to the fucking phone. He understandably gets pissed off and frustrated when he is ignored or told 'in a minute' when we're in the playground or at home or out for some food. I'm not saying my son is a precious little angel who needs to be bowed down to etc., I'm well aware that he's a normal boy who plays up just as much as he is deliciously lovely. And I'm not expecting DH to treat him with kid gloves but FFS man, can't he just put the bloody phone down and concentrate on the child???? He does bath times more often than not and I regularly come upstairs to find him using his phone whilst they're in the bath and it drives me crazy. If I (40 year old grown up) can get so annoyed by it when I don't even crave his attention, how is a little nearly 4 year old supposed to react when he's ignored or dismissed in favour of the phone? Surely being a bit crazy and down right annoying is quite a normal way of expressing himself. Or am I way off the mark here?! If you've read all this way and have an opinion then thank you!!

Conecraft Sun 19-Jun-16 20:05:57

I've read and have an opinion. I think you're right; 4 year olds don't have a whole range of assertive ways of communicating and often don't understand their own feelings. As adults we can feel hurt or dismissed if whoever we're with pays more attention to their phone. If you're little and you want attention you're going to get that any way you can; if bad behaviour works that's what they'll do. I worry that it's a wider problem. Phones are addictive; I'm a grandparent and don't really do FB etc. but am still tempted to check my mail and look things up constantly! I don't know what the answer is but I do know that we all crave attention and we need it from real live people who are present in the moment with us.

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