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Am i really a horrible selfish mother?

(35 Posts)
Beth2511 Sun 19-Jun-16 17:44:25

Dd is 19 months and hit and miss nap wise. Notmally goes down at 11am, if she refuses i try again at 12.30 and again if refusd will try once more at 1.30

If she wont nap by then i will do everutging possible to keep her aeale until bed time because if she sleeps any later than 2.30pm she will be bouncing off the walls until midnight.

Just been screamed at by my mother that im cruel and selfish after one of those days because at 4.30 she finally decided she was knackered and i kept her awake.

Cant help feeling like a horrible mum for making my child suffer when she now wants to nap when i have tried three times to get her to nap.

Beth2511 Sun 19-Jun-16 17:45:12

Sorry for typos, said toddler was helping me type :/

Noonesfool Sun 19-Jun-16 17:46:37

No sleep after 3pm was my rule. If my (now 4 year old) DS closes his eyes for a millisecond at any point in the day now, he's up till midnight....

It's never ok for your mum to scream at you.

Oliviaerinpope Sun 19-Jun-16 17:46:39

Your mother is the bad parent, screaming at you in unacceptable.

DeathStare Sun 19-Jun-16 17:46:57

No you're not. And if your mum thinks you are maybe she can come round at midnight and take care of your DD.

CowVersusMouse Sun 19-Jun-16 17:47:15

YANBU I wouldn't let mine nap later than 4 or they wouldn't sleep at bedtime. She's not a tiny baby so do what works best for you.

tibbawyrots Sun 19-Jun-16 17:47:42

You know your child better than anyone. I would have done the same tbh.

You certainly don't need your mother to scream at you!

MariaSklodowska Sun 19-Jun-16 17:48:07

How dare your mother 'scream' at you about your parenting decisions?
Tel the old dear to back off

UmbongoUnchained Sun 19-Jun-16 17:48:17

I've not let mine nap since she was 15 months unless she's had a very bad nights sleep or she's poorly. She just will not go to bed otherwise.
Tell your mum to fuck off.

followTheyellowbrickRoad Sun 19-Jun-16 17:49:03

Your mother sounds awful, it's out of order for her to scream at you. I don't think I would be able to forgive that.

EveOnline2016 Sun 19-Jun-16 17:50:22

You know your child and what works best.

I think grandparents forget how hard it is having small children.

TooGood2BeFalse Sun 19-Jun-16 17:53:22

I wouldn't have let her nap either. You have already had a super long day with no relief (as in no naps), why should you have a late night too!? What good would you be tomorrow?You know your baby best.

Why is your mother screaming at you?!That's not OK at all.

amigoingabitcrazy Sun 19-Jun-16 17:59:00

Has your mother never heard of minding her own bloody business?

Yanbu in the slightest!

Beth2511 Sun 19-Jun-16 18:07:44

Glad its not me. Theres a lot of issues with my mum and its taking my other half to keep repeating that its plain abusive but i just cant see through right or wrong anymore. She has a way of making me feel the worst mum in the world but im so trapped at the moment.

Makes me feel better knowing im.not being cruel or nasty. OHs worj patterns mean i am on my own for 5 days a week and i can only cope when im not doing 17 hour daays of dd!

Thelaundrylady Sun 19-Jun-16 18:11:43

Tell your mother to mind her own business - my rule was no sleep after 2:30pm otherwise I had the same situation will all of mine.

Badbadtromance Sun 19-Jun-16 18:13:06

flowers op I know just how you feel. My mum is just like this

Annarose2014 Sun 19-Jun-16 18:17:00

Tbh she's the one who sounds like the bad mother....

I have a 19 month old and no way in hell is he sleeping after lunchtime. If he hasn't been able to nap before then? Sorry, no way. It takes bloody long enough to get him to sleep at night as it is!

Pop over to the November 2014 post natal club. It'll console you how much we're all still desperately trying to figure it out! wink

Felyne Sun 19-Jun-16 18:18:18

I had the same rule. My kids were usually utterly unbearable by their bedtime but no way would I let them nap late.
Even bringing bedtime forward by an hour would backfire because they would wake an hour earlier the next morning (and then get tired in the afternoon)

Hissy Sun 19-Jun-16 18:18:38

You absolutely have the measure of what your baby needs! Have faith in your love and care for her

And yes, absolutley tell MummyDearest to ftfo.

MapMyMum Sun 19-Jun-16 18:19:29

Nope youre ensuring she gets a good nights sleep

cuntinghomicidalcardigan Sun 19-Jun-16 18:20:34

If my 19/20mo doesn't nap by 1130 then he doesn't get another chance because he's up til 11 if it's any later! He's currently begging me to go to bed and I'm making him wait till 6.45.

If he slept when it was dark and didn't still wake me hourly from 2 I'd be more prepared to compromise...

Xmasbaby11 Sun 19-Jun-16 18:23:11

It's not fair of her to shout at you!

However I'll go against the grain and say I let my dc nap later on if they need it. I'm not sure how it's possible to keep them awake! My 2.5 yo crawls off and sleepS on the sofa if she couldn't nap earlier.

Lunar1 Sun 19-Jun-16 18:29:10

1pm was always my cutoff unless ill.

BeverlyGoldberg Sun 19-Jun-16 18:32:42

Our parents forget what it's like to have babies. I've noticed it a lot with both mine and DH's parents. Also they think the sun shines out of DC's bottoms - which to be fair so do I but they're ridiculous with it. I've even been called cruel for giving her water and not sugar lace we juice. Also cruel for not allowing biscuits in infinite quantity.

Anyway, in short, your child = your rules.

BeverlyGoldberg Sun 19-Jun-16 18:33:08

Sugar ladened*

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