Overreacting or am I justified in feeling this angry? (Long.)(8 Posts)
About two weeks ago I got a request from a friend of mine asking me to go with her to an event she was selling artwork at. I go on these trips with her often, she's good company and she promised me a free ticket and paid for accommodation, so I agreed right off the bat.
The person organizing the trip has a reputation for not knowing his arse from his elbow, but as I was going as essentially a plus one I figured I'd have little to do with him for the weekend, and my friend was only going for an opportunity to sell. She can't afford to turn these opportunities down. We were to be sharing one big room with two other girls, both also selling at the event. All of us were asked at the last minute.
A few of the organizer Twatwaffle's (not his real name) friends were invited as plus ones or to run a talk. One of them was a seventeen year old boy who I will refer to as Timmy and the other was a looming big hulk of a guy who I will refer to as Lurch. On the first night there Lurch wandered into the girl's room after one of the other guys (who had knocked), tried to turn on our TV despite the fact that we all had laptops out, sprawled out across the bed my friend and I were sharing (friend will be referred to as Sunshine) and touched us both even when we told him to stop/get out. When he did finally leave he said 'Goodnight all you attractive ladies' and our skins collectively crawled.
The men got hammered drunk every night we were there, including Timmy who was encouraged to drink more than he had ever drunk in the company of these adult men. The accommodation was a holiday apartment and the men were occupying the kitchen and common room, and occupy they did. There was a dishwasher they never used, they left takeaways from previous nights on the table until the very end of the trip and it got so bad that we only went to the kitchen to use the kettle (in hindsight, I should have kidnapped the kettle.) They were so loud that I had to take a double dose of my sleeping meds to get a decent night's rest.
I was sick for most of the weekend, I'm immunocompromised and Twatwaffle had a head cold he passed on to me. One of the days I popped back to shower and take a nap while the apartment was unoccupied, my meds make me drowsy and I needed the rest. Shortly after I got out of the shower housekeeping knocked and I ran out in my towel to grab some dry towels, only to find that Lurch was there and had been there for who knows how long. He was at the event when I left, and it's probably paranoid to think that he followed me but given how he was taking every opportunity to touch us it freaked me out so much I locked the bedroom door after me.
(Sunshine told me that evening that he would not stop touching her even when he was told it made her uncomfortable, he slapped one of the younger girls' arse and he hung around the other girl's stall obviously staring down her top. He was, by contrast, quite restrained with me.)We more or less barricaded ourselves in the girl's room the whole weekend; on the last night he knocked and one of the younger girls said "We're naked, don't come in!" and of course he just sauntered right in.
Before the weekend was up, Sunshine was offered a free train ticket home as a plus one on Lurch's free travel card. Lurch, as it turns out, is registered as disabled (we had picked up on this) but he has a special indicator on his card that allows someone to travel with him for free. Now, I have the same card as I am physically disabled, but I do not have the plus 1, despite the fact that I have mobility issues. Our government is reluctant to hand them out except for special circumstances. There are in fact two of these indicators, one for a spouse or next of kin, and the other for people who should not travel alone or unsupervised under any circumstances. Lurch had the latter, and as he had no physical special needs (he confirmed this) we can only assume he is mentally unwell. I have known only two people who had his indicator on their card, one with the mental age of a child and the other actively dangerous to be around. As we found out later, Twatwaffle didn't know Lurch that well, he was just some guy who was at a loose end and who happened to know Twatwaffle. Twatwaffle pretty much used him for his free travel and subjected us to his overbearing company all weekend.
The girls' room group decided to stay an extra night to do touristy things and the men left, but didn't tidy anything. As the room was under the name of the company that had booked us and the representatives had been lovely all weekend, we didn't want to get them in trouble with the hotel so we ended up cleaning it. It was fecking rancid. I did three loads of dishes in the dishwasher, the sink was clogged with rotten milk and we found two pairs of manky underwear just left out in the open. We did log a complaint about them to the reps, so that hopefully they don't work with Twatwaffle again.
The Lurch situation hits me particularly hard, I have an aversion to men touching me without reason and several years ago I was forced into the company of a man who acted a lot like Lurch (with a very similar build) thanks to my ex-boyfriend who thought he was a cool guy. A cool guy that openly masturbated while I was alone in a room with him. I'm not even that upset with Lurch as such, it was clear he had no idea how to act around women. I'm upset with Twatwaffle for putting us in this situation, he's supposed to be a professional.
It sounds bloody awful but why did you stay? The price you pay for waiting for sleazy twats to stop being sleazy twats, is they don't.
I'm sorry you had this experience.
id be pissed off too. It sounds like a hellish weekend.
Gees, I'd have left after the first night.
We stayed because Sunshine and the other two girls were selling at the event and couldn't afford to turn down the weekend's earnings. As it is Sunshine made two month's rent money. I wanted to stay to support Sunshine, she's had a bad time with anxiety lately and her partner wasn't free to go with her as he usually does. We had a good time with the girls in the room and the event itself was really great fun.
What a horrible time you've had with an absolute bunch of entitled misogynist assholes. Can you contact Twatwaffle and ask him to explain his disgusting behaviour and inappropriate choice of companions, or just to vent?
Twatwaffle has form for not listening or defending inappropriate behavior from his 'mates.' He was slammed for it before, I thought he might have learned something but clearly he didn't. I plan on going over his head to the organizers of the whole event and letting them know what he subjected us to so hopefully for next year's event they won't trust him to organize his part in it.
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