Who is out of line, him or me?

[Jasperkiss5]

Last night me, DP and our DD went to visit my family who we only see maybe 3 X a year.

We spent an afternoon at my Dads local, really friendly place. We had a few drinks, not loads. My dad asked me to take a picture of my niece and brother together, on his phone. I did. I then took a picture of my dad immediately after, then moved round the circle to my DP, took a quick snap of him, then my other brother. The barman has joined us before this (we were sat outside and barman was on a break) as he's friendly with my dad as he's a regular, he was dead nice to all of us so after I took the picture of the other 3, I took a shot of the barman, who struck a mean pose for the camera. Just a laugh in my eyes. May sound silly to others, but I was in a silly mood, it was on my dads phone and I was just getting picture happy and just innocently took a picture.

DP was livid with me. Once we went back inside he said wtf are you doing taking pictures of the barman, flirting with him. I explained that it was my dads phone, I was taking pictures of the whole group and got snap happy, No one else thought anything of it. That was the only engagement with this barman I had, bar a quick convo with him and my dad.

Anyway DP wouldn't talk to me or Any of my family for the rest of the evening. He was completely silent and sat on his phone and didn't utter a word apart from when asked by my family is everything ok, then he just grunted. I was fuming and embarrassed because he looked so rude and ignorant. He didn't attempt to put our problems (if you can call them that) even for a few hours.

I have to spend a lot of time with his family (weekly basis) and I'm not their biggest fans, but i would never dream of ignoring them all night especially if it was a rare trip down to see them. My family have been nothing but lovely to him and they adore him and this is how he behaves.

Today we travelled back home and have not spoke. I was due to join his mum and dad for a Father's Day meal but I've decided not to go. My DP and DD have gone alone. I don't see why I should make an effort with his family who aren't the nicest of people anyway, when he treated me and my family like that last night.

Not to mention when I asked him what the he'll is wrong with him his response was 'you're a cunt. How would you feel if I walked up to the fit blonde at the bar and took s picture of her'. Completely not how it went down, but he feels that is a great comparison.

[monkeysox]

He's being a dick. Hand him a grip

[HumpMeBogart]

He called you a cunt for taking a photo? That's disgusting and way OTT.

[LastInTheQueue]

Your DP is a twunt.

[Kidnapped]

Oh dear. He sounds jealous and not very nice at all.

His behaviour really is a red flag (the thinking you were flirting in the first place, calling you awful names and sulking around the rest of your family). And frankly carrying on the incident into the next day is also.

I am going to guess that this is not an isolated incident?

[Jasperkiss5]

Yeah called me a cunt, lovely isn't it. I am fuming about the whole thing. It's really upset me, ruined what was a great day and evening.

Am I out of order for not going for a meal with his parents? I don't see why I should to be honest.

[Kidnapped]

How the hell can you go for a meal if he is not speaking to you?

That would ruin things for everyone. Stay at home.

[BreakerofChains]

He sounds jealous and very insecure.

[originalmavis]

Not out of order at all. Im sure he won't tell the truth why you aren't there though . Are the kids old enough to spill the beans?

[OliviaStabler]

I wouldn't go to the meal either.

You need to address his passive aggressiveness with the silent treatment at the pub and his awful language towards you. Neither are remotely acceptable.

[Jasperkiss5]

I said he was being really insecure and his response was that 'no, it's nothing to do with me, you aren't normal for taking a picture of him'. It wasn't even on my bloody phone!! It was me goofing around being silly and no one else thought anything of it!

[Jasperkiss5]

My daughters only 10 months so she won't be blabbing . But yes I wonder what he'll say.

[NeedACleverNN]

I wouldn't have gone either but I bet you he will talk to his parents today about how it's all your fault that you wasn't there today and how much of a cow you was yesterday.

Expect a frosty reception from his parents for a while

[Trills]

It's not normal for him to accuse you of flirting in that situation, or to be so angry about the imaginary flirting.

Unless you actually are a horrendous flirt who has cheated in the past and goes out of their way to demand attention from men... which of course you wouldn't tell us if you were... so we assume you are not.

[Jasperkiss5]

I've never been able to flirt, I look like a total twat and I've never cheated either. I am friendly with people. Was talking to a 74 year old bloke for ages before that but he doesn't have a problem with that.

[Jasperkiss5]

Another thing that has upset me is that it's his first Father's Day today and he hasn't even bothered to open the cards and presents from his daughter. I gave him the present bag and card and he said he's not in the mood to open them. He's then got them from the boot and dumped them on the kitchen side.

[Trills]

Yep. He's not behaving normally. You should not have to put up with this.

[SapphireStrange]

He sounds horrible. I can't imagine my DP calling me a cunt in a million years.

Was talking to a 74 year old bloke for ages before that but he doesn't have a problem with that.

That's very telling, isn't it?

Tell him Mumsnet clubbed together for a grip for him.

[AugustaFinkNottle]

Tell him to grow the fuck up.

[RaspberryOverload]

Something like this would make me question whether he's now showing his true colours.

Does he have form for this kind of behaviour, OP?

[EttaJ]

Wow. What is lately with all these husbands calling their wives cunts lately on here. How awful OP, sorry he is such a jealous moron.

[hotdiggedy]

He sounds horrid. What else does he do? Is this what you want to spent the rest of your life putting up with?

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Well he's a childish twat, isn't he? Luckily your DD is too young to realise that Daddy is being a complete arse, so she won't be hurt by it - but he's doing it deliberately to hurt you.

Is this the first time he's shown this sort of extreme jealousy and controlling fuckwittery?

[houseeveryweekend]

Hes being an absolute twat. Do not let him make you feel like you are in the wrong.

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

It's really upset me
Of course it has. That was his intention. You did nothing wrong. He created a drama and tried to make everyone else uncomfortable. He is not a nice person.

Next time you go to visit your family, you're going to feel awkward and worried that he's suddenly going to sulk about nothing. It's very unsettling and tbh you need to have a grown-up talk about it because you can't let him think you are willing to accept this behaviour. He was rude and disrespectful and as for calling you a cunt, I would be telling him if he used language like that again, I would be leaving.

Consciously or unconsciously, he's testing your boundaries. You need to reassert them.

[WellDoYaPunk]

Ugh god even my twat exh who loved calling me names never went for that one
In your situation I would definitely not go, neither would baby tbh, I'd go out to a friends or something
Wait for him to make the first move too - he would need to apologise for calling me that before normality resumed!