To think that everyone you invite to a wedding may well turn up?

[houseeveryweekend]

I have accidently sent out 110 save the date cards to guests when the venue for the ceremony actually only holds a maximum of 90. Im a bit worried and was thinking that when we send out the actual invites this week that we should just invite some of the people to the evening buffet (we are not having a sit down meal as the wedding is late afternoon). My partner however thinks we dont need to do that because lots of people probably wont come. I just think that there is a chance they might all come..... theres a couple who deffo wont as they live abroad but then everyone else im just not entirely sure about. Should i be safe and make sure only the maximum number are invited to the ceremony or am i being overcautious?

[Trills]

Can you send out your ceremony invitations now (no more than you have space for) and ask for quick RSVPs?

Then if people DO say they can't make it, you can send out ceremony invitations to the rest.

But if they all say yes, you'll have to deal with the fact that you've sent a "save the date" for people who you are only inviting to the evening.

[houseeveryweekend]

Yes thats the thing to do isnt it? Its just we are cutting it a bit fine as the wedding is only in a few months. I guess ill just send the invites to the people most likely to be quickest to respond first! Im not very good at this wedding planning stuff :-(

[Trills]

I guess ill just send the invites to the people most likely to be quickest to respond first!

I'd recommend that you send them to the people who you most want to be there first :)

[MargaretCavendish]

Not to panic you but I found that the 'no' rates that you find widely discussed in advice on wedding planning were way higher than ours actually was - I think we got three 'nos' out of 80 guests. I think the smaller the wedding the more likely you are to have everyone turn up as people are much more likely to re-arrange things etc for a close friend than an acquaintance.

I'd be surprised if you got 110, but not surprised if you got over 90, so I think the staggered approach is wise.

[houseeveryweekend]

Trills! well i cant really do that haha as some people HAVE to be there so they will get invites first... sadly it will be the friends who we have to decide over.... and i want them all to be there!! so i will go for those i think will be quickest to respond first so that we can get the maximum number of friends in! x

[houseeveryweekend]

Margaret: thanks!! ill show my DP that!!

[meditrina]

Having got into this muddle, the best thing you can do now is send ou the invitations in batches, starting with the guests you most want to see there, then the reliable responders, and hope you get enough declining the invitation by the time you get to the final batch.

Because having asked someone to save the date, they will (rightly) be expecting an invitation to your wedding, not just a post-wedding party. And you've no way of telling who has already planned other events around attendance at the wedding.

You can't rewrite the past, and I do hope your numbers work out.

But if anyone a bit earlier in the planning happens to be reading this thread, it might be worth holding the thought that save-the-date cards are more than just telling someone that you'll be getting married on a particular date, they are a request to keep the day clear because you will be invited. Best sent only to the people who really matter to you (if you need to send them at all, because the chances are those are exactly the same people you could tell when you're talking to them anyhow)

[Floggingmolly]

I'd be a bit to be given a save the date card and then told I could only come along in the evening, tbh.
But you absolutely can't issue invitations to all of them hoping twenty won't show up. You really can't.
Don't compound your mistake, fgs, this has disaster written all over it unless you do some damage limitation now.

[ImogenTubbs]

OP - I did something similar. I sent a save the date to a good work friend, and then realised I was tight on numbers. In the meantime she arranged her wedding for two weeks before mine and only invited me to the evening, so I did the same! We both turned up, had a fabulous time and are still friends, so doesn't seem to have done any lasting damage. Felt a bit awkward at the time though. We had about eight no's from 140. Congratulations!