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To feel very alone even though I'm not

(13 Posts)
PumpkinPies38 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:23:45

I just want to know if other people can relate to this feeling or not. I have a close group of friends I grew up with and a kind and loving family and a wonderful husband. Aside from the husband I often feel my other relationships are very fragile and unfulfilling. For example I'll have an evening with friends and realise despite us all having known each other for years feel quite distant from them and feel actually we are not that close. It's the same with the majority of relationships in my life it looks good from the outside but really I dot actually feel close to these people and don't really believe they properly like or care about me. Can anyone relate to that? I always feel guilty about things too like little things I've said or done which aren't really a big deal but I worry I've upset or offended people.

Vickyyyy Sun 19-Jun-16 03:27:37

I don't worry about offending people...however this alone feeling I completely understand. Its odd, but I often feel most alone WHILE I am surrounded by people.

NoMudNoLotus Sun 19-Jun-16 03:32:12

Hello pumpkin flowers.
Yes I can relate to this . I have a successful job (in mental health !!) , everything I could wish for in terms of close family , but I do on a day to day basis feel lonely.

I have over the past couple of years lost friendships and really miss having fulfilling friendships.

Lostin3dspace Sun 19-Jun-16 08:12:48

Yep me too, My husband left me though, (felt lonely even though I never got a moment alone before that though ) so now I fill time without kids with friends. My friends are lovely, I'm not complaining about them, but I feel like I'm a periphery for them and that those friendships are very fragile.

Dizzywizz Sun 19-Jun-16 08:25:38

Yes yes yes, me too, this exactly. Really upsets me sometimes, other times I think I'm better off feeling like this. I never seem able to take friendships to the next level, oR peOplE Don't want to with me. ( sorry for random capitals, iPad playing up!)

SlinkyVagabond Sun 19-Jun-16 08:26:46

I can relate. My friendship group has moved on, no falling out but just don't see.I am friendly with people at work, but not friends. I have 3 adult kids at home, but only see them at meal times.Dh is often in the room, but I feel so alone. Days can go by without a conversation that isn't about what's for dinner.

PumpkinPies38 Sun 19-Jun-16 15:15:36

Thanks for your replies. I suppose my long term friendship group has now moved on although we are still in contact it just feels meaningless sometimes and I think that there are some true friends but many are also there for gossip and to see how they're doing compared to others which is depressing.

maggiethemagpie Sun 19-Jun-16 21:15:55

We're all alone. We're born alone. We die alone. Everything else is just an illusion.

JPB86 Sun 19-Jun-16 21:36:27

Yes I feel this alot. I suppose I've made some bad choices in the past (relationships etc) which meant certain friendships were lost and then I've suffered from depression in the past so actively pushed people away and turned into a hermit. Now I'm older with a 5 year old and a lot happier and healthier but in a situation where I have very few friends due to the things listed above. For the most part I just think "hey ho" and get on with it but I admit sometimes I worry there's something wrong with me as I appear to lack any real/meaningful friendships.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sun 19-Jun-16 23:18:12

There's a massive difference between being alone and lonely
You could be at a football match surrounded by thousands of people and still feel lonely or you could be on a deserted Island with not a soul around and not feel remotely lonely.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sun 19-Jun-16 23:23:44

Get more friends. Friendships wax and wane. You need more including some new ones so the right ones can wax and wane.

kitnkaboodle Mon 20-Jun-16 00:48:06

Pumpkin - this struck a chord with me. I have a loving partner of 20 years, 2dc, friends, but sometimes feel I lack a real connection. I, too, fear that my friends don't really like me and that I might cause offence. Tbh, I think it just is part of the human condition. We ARE all alone within our own consciousness. It's pretty freaky. Maybe we feel it stronger than most. I try to find comfort and distraction in other things too - nature, walking, spirituality

PumpkinPies38 Mon 20-Jun-16 23:07:34

Thanks for all of your replies it helps knowing I'm not the only one.

Kitnkaboodle it's comforting to hear you can relate as sometimes I think it must be just me and even though I have friends I feel anxious about keeping them. It's a strange anxiety to have. Perhaps it is just part of the human condition and we dwell on it too much. It manifests itself in certain ways eg I won't organise a party for myself as I assume no one would be there.

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