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To not be that excited by this gift?

(119 Posts)
Northcountrygirl16 Sun 19-Jun-16 02:46:16

DH seems annoyed that I'm not overjoyed with the anniversary gift he got me.

His gift is a framed outline of the U.K. That has our names and wedding date on and then the name of a random town we once lived in, which is not where we got married.

I thanked him for it but he seems to think my reaction wasn't gushing enough. I'm not really sure what the point of it is to tell you the truth, or what he thought I was going to do with it. We don't really have anywhere to hang it ( being honest it's not something I'd really want to put on show even if we did). I didn't say this to him though but my reaction apparently wasn't appreciative enough.

By way of background it's a significant anniversary after a year in which we almost split due to his behaviour. My gift to him was something personal that he can use and that I knew he would appreciate.

So AIBU to have just said Thanks and left it at that?? I'm not sure what else he expected from me maybe tears of joy?

CaoNiMao Sun 19-Jun-16 03:11:14

I think that gift sounds quite nice, actually. Better than generic flowers or chocolate!

Vickyyyy Sun 19-Jun-16 03:15:42

He has probably put a lot of thought into it and for some reason thought it was something you may like? I would feign happiness in this case to be quite honest and be glad it wasn't just a teddy, or a bunch of flowers or something that was clearly last minute. I would not though be falling at his feet in worship, which may well be what he is expecting grin

PumpkinPies38 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:26:18

I get that it sounds a bit naff but really I agree with PP that he's probably put a lot of thought and effort into it. He's referencing your marriage vows. I would try and show appreciation for the sentiment and not the gift.

Euphemia Sun 19-Jun-16 03:26:27

It sounds nice, and thoughtful. I don't know what you expected from him or whether your expectations were realistic.

Early on in our relationship I expected romantic gifts from DH (when he was my boyfriend), but it quickly became clear that that's just not him!

I adjusted my expectations and started buying nice things for myself. grin

VioletBam Sun 19-Jun-16 03:28:31

It does sound a bit naff but frankly if my DH put that much thought into a gift, I'd be thrilled. He once bought me quite a cheap bracelet because on one of the links there was a certain image which was an injoke between us...I was THRILLED. Even though it wasn't expensive or particularly stylish.

I wore it till it fell off.

Northcountrygirl16 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:30:44

He ordered it online two days before the anniversary so it was pretty last minute.

I would have preferred chocolates as at least I could enjoy them grin

Ok so it looks like I'm being ungrateful then and should pretend I think it's brilliant? I will probably end up getting a version of it every year from now on confused grin

MitzyLeFrouf Sun 19-Jun-16 03:31:09

What did you give him that he can use?

He may well think that he's being romantic while you're being unromantically practical. It does sound as though he put thought into the gift and he might be inwardly grumbling over your gift too.

beetroot2 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:31:39

I think its lovely.

MitzyLeFrouf Sun 19-Jun-16 03:32:27

Was it from notonthehighstreet, they're obsessed with personalised maps!

NoMudNoLotus Sun 19-Jun-16 03:38:53

I think YABU .

Euphemia and Pumpkin have said it all.

There is a song containing the lyrics :

"*I may not be your Superman, but I'm trying the very best I can".*

It maybe worth bearing this in mind.

Northcountrygirl16 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:41:20

Yes it was! He just had to fill out the fields on the site with our details. So I hadn't really thought of it as something he'd put a lot of effort into, surprised people on here think he had. It's making me feel bad as my thought on opening it was " what a fucking waste of money".

My gift to him was that I booked him in for a massage as he is stressed and having back pain. Not terribly romantic but thoughtful and he would never arrange for himself despite saying how much he would like one.

Northcountrygirl16 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:43:46

And just to add I'm not sure he actually thanked me for it when I told him. Maybe he did think it was a crap present. At least I said Thank you to him.

In the past he has had no compunction about saying if he felt my gifts for him were rubbish though.

NoMudNoLotus Sun 19-Jun-16 03:43:48

OP you can't expect him to express his feelings or to have the same thought processes as you though .......

beetroot2 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:44:13

You aren't on the same page then are you OP. I think its rather thoughtful but only you really know.

beetroot2 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:44:59

You sound resentful.. Not good.

Euphemia Sun 19-Jun-16 03:46:02

He might have only ordered it recently, but maybe he's been thinking about it for ages. Either way, it took some effort.

What would have liked instead? Could he be guided towards that for the next occasion?

NoMudNoLotus Sun 19-Jun-16 03:49:09

OP I have been in your place where we nearly split due to DHs fuckwittage.

When we had our anniversaries after that time it didn't even occur to me when he hadn't bought a present ....

In the grand scheme of things is it really that important ?

beetroot2 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:50:42

Im thinking that you're in trouble relationship wise, for a woman to resent a present that seems outwardly lovely means you aren't at all happy. Maybe the relationship board would help you?

Northcountrygirl16 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:51:25

I suppose the root of it is that it's so far from being something I would like that it makes me feel like he hasn't really made an effort. It seems like something he has panic bought with no real thought or consideration for me or what I like. So it feels like he doesn't really pay attention to me and therefore doesn't really know me.

Euphemia Sun 19-Jun-16 03:52:59

So, again, what would have been a good present?

NoMudNoLotus Sun 19-Jun-16 03:53:33

You are making so many assumptions in your last post OP!

Northcountrygirl16 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:55:23

It isn't that I expect some grand gift but that what he has bought seems like he hasn't put any real thought in but yet he seems to expect me to be in raptures.

This isn't a major issue in our relationship by the way but I'm suffering from insomnia and thought I'd post.

beetroot2 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:57:46

The Op is not making assumptions she's being very clear. I remember one valentines getting a huge fluffy dog.. Ive never liked fluffy toys ever. It showed me that he didn't give a shit. I get you OP. I would advise you to take this to relationships rather than AIBU.

Northcountrygirl16 Sun 19-Jun-16 03:58:05

A good present would have been something as simple as offering to take care of the baby overnight so I could get some sleep.

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