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AIBU?

To have booked a night nanny

64 replies

Bee14 · 18/06/2016 18:47

Sorry middle class problem, but no family near by dc2 a week old after long labour and EMC, witching hour appears to be late evening until early hours so dh and I have been doing shifts sitting with him. I had a melt down yesterday having had less than 4 hrs sleep a day for a week and in not longer than hour and a half chunks. I had also forgotten the swelling anxiety childbirth brings and how long it takes me to relax in to it (for better or worse my job requires me to be the one in control and with all the solutions in critical situations).

Much better day and night last night, dh took both shifts and was able to get some sleep as baby went down. So feel way better, now getting anxious about having hired a nanny. Comes highly recommended and plan is for 3-4 weeks for a couple of nights a week and to help me into routine/ discipline (not baby in routine way to early for that), but am I being unfair to my baby doing this I don't plan to hand baby over and go to bed but for her to watch routine and help get down and only take if wont settle at all.

OP posts:
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icanteven · 18/06/2016 18:55

Completely the right thing to do. I would ONLY have another baby if we could afford a night nanny for the first year.

The exhaustion of the first few weeks, especially if you get off to a bad start, is overwhelming and you are definitely NBU to do anything within your power to mitigate that.

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scarednoob · 18/06/2016 18:57

Fuck no, my friends who had them were much more human than me! If we ever have a second, it's top of my to do list. Enjoy your baby and a bit more sleep Smile

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eastmidswarwicknightnanny · 18/06/2016 18:57

Lots people use night nannies for different reasons and certainly not unreasonable.

I totally empathise with sleep deprivation having 2 small boys ds1 was a dream sleeper and ds2 was terrible and a huge shock.

Hope you get some much needed rest and guidance from NN if that's what you need :)

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Heirhelp · 18/06/2016 18:59

Go for it. If you have the money then it is the right thing to do. We only have one 6 week old and I have been considering this.

After a EMCS you need to rest to heal. If you don't rest and get well you can't be the best Mum you can be.

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Rumpelstiltskin143 · 18/06/2016 19:00

It's what everyone did a hundred years ago. Mothers weren't supposed to put a foot to the floor for two weeks, they all had a nurse come in for at least two weeks to take care of things.

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CoraPirbright · 18/06/2016 19:02

I had a maternity nurse for 4 weeks for both of mine! The second time around, the nurse did all the night feeds as well - bloody brilliant as not only did I sleep, my ds got used to having breast milk from both boob and bottle. Totally go for it and don't give it a second thought. If you can afford it, why not? Sleep deprivation is a form of torture for a reason you know!

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LetThereBeCupcakes · 18/06/2016 19:03

Had I known such a thing existed, and could have afforded one, I'd have had a night nanny when DS was a baby. The absolute best thing for the whole family is that you are healthy, mentally and physically.

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poocatcherchampion · 18/06/2016 19:03

Feed the baby pass it to nanny and get some kip. And ditch the guilt!

Its so emotional having a baby so just remind yourself it is a fine thing to do.

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Donatellalymanmoss · 18/06/2016 19:05

YANBU it's important to remember to take care of yourself, I nearly broke after DC2 having to do so much when I should have been healing.

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heyday · 18/06/2016 19:08

You are extremely lucky to be in the position to do this financially so go for it and make the most of the precious rest/sleep you will be able to get. Don't feel bad about it. Your baby just wants milk and a cuddle and this age and won't care if it is you or another caring person who provides it.

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Finola1step · 18/06/2016 19:11

Go for it. I wish I had done it, especially with dc1.

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KP86 · 18/06/2016 19:12

Can I ask approximately how much this is costing you?

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HemanOrSheRa · 18/06/2016 19:13

If I'd known about such a thing when DS was a baby I would have absolutely done the same.

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AliceInHinterland · 18/06/2016 19:13

Bugger watching your routines - sleep for goodness sake!!

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VimFuego101 · 18/06/2016 19:13

YANBU. Do whatever you need to do to get sleep and rest.

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ricketytickety · 18/06/2016 19:14

Sounds like the right thing to do. It's not 'unfair' - baby won't be missing out or neglected by you. You're hiring in some help whilst you recover. Women have done it for millenia.

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Okay377 · 18/06/2016 19:16

It isn't what everyone did a hundred years a go rumpel - people who could afford it would do it, same as now.

Op don't have a second thought. Money well spent if it helps you and you won't be handing your baby over, you're just getting help to be able to look after yourself and dc. Go for it.

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MmmMalbec · 18/06/2016 19:20

JEALOUS!!!!!!

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CitaloPam · 18/06/2016 19:21

Sleep!

I considered it with DD but couldn't afford it. Sleep deprivation almost killed me.

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kitchenunit · 18/06/2016 19:25

Stop fucking about and get some sleep!!

The night nanny knows what she's doing!

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KP86 · 18/06/2016 19:30

Also, agree with others to use the time wisely and get yourself some sleep! No point in watching someone else care for your child while you're so tired your eyes are held open by toothpicks.

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Sorebigtoes · 18/06/2016 19:35

YANBU. Do it!

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AnnieOnnieMouse · 18/06/2016 19:37

Go for it! People who can afford this have always done this. Until a few decades ago, people's families did it.
Employ, relax, sleep, heal.

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totalturmoil · 18/06/2016 19:47

My daughter is 5m and I still have a night nanny twice a week....!

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Marymaymay · 18/06/2016 19:49

Personally, I find it weird and wouldn't want to do it but each to their own.

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