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To do fall in line with MIL

(75 Posts)
LemonySmithit Sat 18-Jun-16 14:24:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LemonySmithit Sat 18-Jun-16 14:24:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treaclesoda Sat 18-Jun-16 14:25:44

I would find it really weird to buy a fathers days present for my FIL, he's not my father. And even more weird that someone might expect me to.

Roobix04 Sat 18-Jun-16 14:25:51

Even if you did celebrate it it's your husbands job not yours!

OurBlanche Sat 18-Jun-16 14:27:31

If you're there all weekend I am sure she will mention it again. At which point you can laugh and remind her that she has a son!

ProseccoPoppy Sat 18-Jun-16 14:27:57

Why does she think you would buy s Father's Day gift for FIL rather than your DH buying for his actual father confused YANBU and she's being a bit odd. I don't think that has anything to do with your ASD whatsoever.

SaltyPotatoes Sat 18-Jun-16 14:28:05

Yanbu, A you dont even celebrate it & B its not your father, its your dh responsibility to buy a card for his own father, yes you can gently remind him when fathers day is approaching in order to give him time to get a card & present if he wishes, but ultimately, his dad, his job

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Sat 18-Jun-16 14:28:08

Im not sure I understnd. Is your DH incapable of buying a gift for his DF? I don't mean to be flippant. Is he disabled, unwell, etc?

If not, then I can't see why this would be your responsibility.

If there is a reason, then he should have asked you to organise this for him or DMIL should have asked you in advance if your husband can't.

BowiesJumper Sat 18-Jun-16 14:28:19

Why can't he buy his own gift?? I certainly haven't bought one for my husband to give to his dad! Yanbu.

originalmavis Sat 18-Jun-16 14:28:20

You're his wife not his mammy. Why didn't she get the father's day gift for him then?

What happened in mothers day? Have you kids -do you do it for your kids dad? And which religion doesn't do father's day? I've never come across that.

AnotherOddSock Sat 18-Jun-16 14:28:31

YANBU my family don't do Father's Day either on account of it just being a way for greetings card companies to make money. It means nothing. If you MIL insists on a gift being bought, tell her to tell your DH, not you. Why should it always be the woman's job to buy gifts anyway?

ElspethFlashman Sat 18-Jun-16 14:29:13

Wait, buy a card for a bloke who isn't your Dad cos his own son can't be arsed???!

Well now I've heard it all!

WorraLiberty Sat 18-Jun-16 14:29:31

I'm pretty sure you know you're not BU.

I hope you said 'No because that's for DH to buy, if he wants to'?

Noodledoodledoo Sat 18-Jun-16 14:29:51

Ask her who sorted it before you were on the scene!!!

I don't do anything for my Dad (his choice no issues told us as teenagers not to bother!) and DH does what he wants for his Dad. (Same for his mum as well - mine is no longer with us so don't think he would dare ask!

PlanBwastaken Sat 18-Jun-16 14:31:22

She probably comes from the viewpoint that you as a wife are your husband's social secretary, and therefore responsible for presents, cards, etc.

That's stupid (but very common), as evidenced by this scenario, and I would give it short shrift and refuse to feel any responsibility for it. On the bright side, at least your husband hasn't inherited the same mentality smile

LemonySmithit Sat 18-Jun-16 14:31:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

originalmavis Sat 18-Jun-16 14:32:40

Aw noodle, make your dad a card! My dad died 14 years ago and I wish I could buy him some crappy card with a monkey on it and give him a box of Roses chocolate.

originalmavis Sat 18-Jun-16 14:33:43

My old boss, a vicar, did mothers day and fathers day special services in church.

Kewcumber Sat 18-Jun-16 14:34:06

Has DH bought his father something? confused

If not why not?

I would stick with the "we buy own own presents/cards for our parents, surely no-one would be upset by that?!"

happypoobum Sat 18-Jun-16 14:34:38

It's Wifework from the sounds of it.

You will be presented with a long list of aunties and cousins you have to write Christmas Cards for OP.

Just give her the head tilt and ask her why you would send a FD card to FIL, wouldn't that be odd? <<tinkly laugh>> walk away.

LemonySmithit Sat 18-Jun-16 14:34:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IJustLostTheGame Sat 18-Jun-16 14:36:22

My mil was miffed years ago that I didn't get her a mothers day card. When questioned by dh I said bluntly 'she's not my mother'

If it's such a big deal for your DH's family he should have organised it.

LemonySmithit Sat 18-Jun-16 14:36:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

branofthemist Sat 18-Jun-16 14:37:14

I don't ever sort dhs families gifts out.

My mum did for my dad, but then dad worked and she didn't so it was easier for her to get something while she was out. If it was something particular, out of mums way, dad would go and get it.

It does seem this job falls to a lot of women when they get married. But it's a shit pit of a situation to get in.

originalmavis Sat 18-Jun-16 14:37:39

It's ok to expect him to get his own card and gift. It's ok to hope he bothers his backside. It's also ok to assume he will forget.

Although I've never had to remind dh to get a mothers day card. He's good like that

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