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WIBU to have spoken to the manager?

(102 Posts)
sparepantsandtoothbrush Sat 18-Jun-16 14:10:03

I was in the supermarket with 11yo DS earlier. The cashier completely ignored me but was chatting happily to DS asking him what he had planned for the weekend and talking about football. Then the cashier asked DS if he has a PS4. DS replied that he has an xbox one and the cashier said "oh that's a shame, I was going to ask if I could add you as a friend" confused

I paid for my shopping whilst wondering if maybe I'd misheard. Walked away from the till and asked DS what had been said and he confirmed it was what I thought I'd heard. I asked DS what he thought about that and he said it made him feel uncomfortable.

So I spoke to the manager who took it seriously and said he'd deal with it appropriately. He asked if I was happy to leave it there and I said I was. All fine.

But when I told DH what had happened he said the cashier was probably just making conversation and I've got him in to trouble for no reason. Would you have reported the cashier?

Oddsocksgalore Sat 18-Jun-16 14:12:02

No I would not!!

They were just making conversation more than likely.

Berthatydfil Sat 18-Jun-16 14:13:07

Odd and inappropriate at best. You did the right thing

OurBlanche Sat 18-Jun-16 14:15:38

Probably, as that does seem a bit odd and, if for no other reason than for their own protection, the cashier needs to be told that such chats could be seen to be highly inappropriate.

It unlikely they had any underhand motive, but it is still a bit odd and, if your DS felt uncomfortable, then so would many other kids.

pinkyredrose Sat 18-Jun-16 14:16:08

How old was the cashier? We're they male or female?

Discopanda Sat 18-Jun-16 14:16:25

Yes. Inappropriate to say he would have added a random 11 y.o. Show him a Breck Bednar article.

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Sat 18-Jun-16 14:16:45

That does sound weird but I probably wouldn't have reported them. I'd have said something along the lines of "I'm sure you're just trying to be friendly but I think it's inappropriate to speak to a child you don't know like that"

Then I wouldn't go to her till again! And definitely report it if I saw something similar in the future

bluerequired Sat 18-Jun-16 14:17:16

You did the right thing op. Your Ds is too young and you have to protect him. That is not different to what can be construed as a chat up line. Am glad you did report him. Remember that they would be friends online and talking and god knows what. Never leave any thing to chance if you can prevent it.

NavyAndWhite Sat 18-Jun-16 14:17:21

You don't mention what sex ' the cashier ' was? Or how old?

CandOdad Sat 18-Jun-16 14:18:11

No. How was prob just trying to go above and beyond by chatting to your son. The way you portray it as thou the "pedo" was hunting your son.

The comment about being becoming a friend could easily be used if your son did have a ps4 "oh that's a shame, I have an Xbox....."
And that's before you take into account the age of your son and the cashier.
Stranger danger is certainly a thing for you to educate your son about. Perhaps a better route would have been to ask your son if he would add a stranger or give his name out rather than a manager now having to have an awkward conversation and the cashier feeling like a lemon.
A female cashier told me yesterday that she would chase me and tickle to laugh since I was juggling things and didn't have a carrier bag.
Should I complain to her manager about threats of assault or sexual harassment?

bluerequired Sat 18-Jun-16 14:20:20

I don't think the sex should matter. Dh agrees with you op, I have just asked him too and he thinks it's inappropriate.

WorraLiberty Sat 18-Jun-16 14:21:01

The OP says at the end, her DH referred to him as 'he'.

I would have said something to the cashier myself if I wasn't happy, rather than going to the manager.

But that's not to say what you did was wrong.

WorraLiberty Sat 18-Jun-16 14:22:52

Mind you, the OP hasn't mentioned roughly how old the cashier is.

If her son looks older than 11 and the cashier is about 18, it puts a bit of a different slant on it.

NavyAndWhite Sat 18-Jun-16 14:23:01

If the cashier was 16 year old lad this would be entirely different to a man of 45 or way we asking to add him.

I wonder why the OP didn't put the gender and age of the cashier? Seems strange.

Fairylea Sat 18-Jun-16 14:23:54

Sex of the cashier doesn't matter. Men and women can be paedophiles if that was the thought.

I think it was extremely odd to suggest adding him as a friend.

Pinkheart5915 Sat 18-Jun-16 14:24:04

If the cashier was fairly young they may of been in to gaming and just didn't think. The supermarket near here is all young students on weekends.

I doubt talking to the manger got them in any great trouble, the manager probably had a chat about why it's best to not say things like it

NavyAndWhite Sat 18-Jun-16 14:24:34

Sorry about the poor grammar. I'm on my phone without my glasses. Even I can't make head nor tale!

NavyAndWhite Sat 18-Jun-16 14:25:37

Of course it matters Fairylea, young lads tend to be into gaming more so than girls.

OurBlanche Sat 18-Jun-16 14:25:56

That's what you'd hope would be the upshot, Pinkheart just a quick 'heads up' and move along.

Fairylea Sat 18-Jun-16 14:27:54

I understand that boys tend to be more into gaming than girls, the issue is its not appropriate for anyone of that age difference (even if they were 16) to request to be friends online with a little boy they just met in a supermarket.

BlackVelvet1 Sat 18-Jun-16 14:30:25

Even if the cashier was genuine, he/she needs to know that you can't do that, particularly at work. A chat from the manager will be more convincing that if you had said something in the conversation. I think the manager will just have a chat and keeping an eye out.

NavyAndWhite Sat 18-Jun-16 14:30:47

No but it doesn't automatically make them a paedophile.

ImperialBlether Sat 18-Jun-16 14:32:13

No, but it does make them an idiot.

Sparklesilverglitter Sat 18-Jun-16 14:33:10

I agree that if the cashier was young and in to gaming ( regardless of if male or female) then they might not of even thought just said it. My local sainsburys is all young staff on Saturdays.
The manager probably just have a chat about why it's best not too. We've all been young and said things we didn't think there was anything wrong in saying.

If it was an older cashier, it would be strange

pigsDOfly Sat 18-Jun-16 14:33:20

Agree with pp re age gap. If your 11 year old looks about 14 and the cashier is young it would be perfectly normal for him to make a remark like that. A lot of young geeky lads will chat like that to a younger boy about potentially shared interests.

Also if the cashier is a bit shy he might feel more comfortable chatting to another lad than attempting to make conversation with a grown woman.

On the other hand a grown man saying that is an entirely different thing.

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