'Not in the spirit of MN' - AIBU to get a tad fed up?

[lougle]

I'm getting just a tad fed up of the trend, lately, that telling a poster that their actions/post is wrong = 'not in the spirit of MN'. Since when was 'the spirit of MN' to just smile and nod regardless of what anyone does??

Several times recently, threads have followed pattern:

OP: I need help with this situation
Posters 1-10: 'Erm....you really can't do that/ they were right to say that because you did break that law/ you have been really quite unkind so I can see why they said that/ your friend-partner-bestie really shouldn't have told you that and you really shouldn't have posted it all over MN.....

Poster 15: 'You lot are sooooo mean!'
Poster 16: 'I'm reporting to MNHQ as it's not in the spirit of MN'.

What? So we can only post positive, supportive messages, no matter what the OP is? Sometimes, the best advice is that you're being a complete wally and need to change your attitude sharpish, or you need to realise that you've broken the rules and fix it before you get into big trouble.

[FarelyKnuts]

You know posts like this really aren't in the spirit of Mumsnet

[meditrina]

MNHQ's circus, MMHQ's monkeys.

But yes, I agree with you. Just getting answers with which you disagree (especially if those answers are well explained) shouldn't never Be sufficient reason in itself for deletion

Even if you are a member of the Green Party.

[WorraLiberty]

I think the only spirit of MN is gin.

[lougle]

To be fair, I'd hope that MNHQ would refuse to delete, meditrina.

Farley I feel my post was very spirited

[Queenbean]

TAATs aren't in the spirit of the site either

[lougle]

This isn't about a thread. It's about a trend I've observed on lots of threads

[Queenbean]

Well it's really hard to comment overall on threads as a whole. If you have an issue with a thread why not take it up on there?

[EveryoneElsie]

Its a trend I dont like. There need to be consequences for behaviour, and not just for kids.
And yes its ok to judge someone if their behaviour harms others.

[Sparklingbrook]

MNHQ can decide what's in the spirit of MN. They can agree or disagree with whoever reports it.

[FarelyKnuts]

Couldn't resist sorry.

But gin is a good choice if we're talking spirits!

[lougle]

Because I have an issue with the trend as a whole. I think that the general trend of late is that if posters disagree with an OP they are judged to be unsupportive and not in the spirit of MN. Whereas, I think it's perfectly legitimate to disagree with a poster if they have done something or hold a view with which you...disagree. That doesn't stop your contribution being in the spirit of MN.

Otherwise we could just get a 'like' button and every thread could simply say 'please like my thread' and we wouldn't need to talk at all. oh no, that's Facebook.

[HeffalumpHistory]

I agree op!

[lougle]

I'm teetotal, but please do enjoy the gin for me.

[lougle]

Thing is, I love the spirit of MN. So it makes me sad when people are accused of not posting in the spirit of MN because they value things such as the law, or truth, or confidentiality, or privacy, or trust, or any other value that normal people would hold.

[WorraLiberty]

Actually MNHQ went through a brief period of deleting threads 'to protect the poster's privacy', which was bloody annoying because it was only ever done on threads where the OP spat their dummy because they didn't like the replies. Mostly, their privacy was never ever compromised.

The spirit of MN thing, I've seen very rarely over the 5 and a half years I've posted here.

I'm not sure how anyone can define the 'spirit' of a website though, so I imagine it will be a bit iffy from time to time.

[PHeadPH]

There is a big difference between strongly disagreeing with an OP and just being a nasty fucker. Unfortunately there are quite a lot of nasty posters on MN.
I think it's the posts that are nasty that get deleted not the ones that are just disagreeing. I think that's what 'not being in the spirit on MN' is all about.

BTW this feels like a TAAT 🤔

[theothersideoftheworld]

I take it you are talking about my post on another thread? So yes this is a TAAT. People weren't just saying 'oh your post is too identifiable' they were saying 'your cousin ought to be shot/ strung up'
That's more than a bit mean isn't it? Especially when the poster asked for specific help and now feels worse than when she posted.
Did you copy and paste the first part of your OP from your post on that thread by any chance?

[Queenbean]

Well I disagree with you and I doubt my post will get deleted for "not being in the spirit of the site"....

[littledrummergirl]

Im not entirely sure thats accurate Worra. goes down just as well.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

But posts get deleted for breaking talk guidelines and most deleted threads get some form of explanation, even if it's vague. 'Not in the spirit of MN' is very rarely rolled out anymore.

[Showmethewaytogohome]

My view is that the 'spirit of MN' is actually something you wouldn't want to aim for anyway. Playground bully and lack of empathy at best. Sad

[BishopBrennansArse]

Tbh not in the spirit should be replaced by an Adam Hills phrase - don't be a dick.

[GarlicSteak]

I don't think I've ever seen a thread on MN where the OP wasn't told she's horrible/useless/dangerous! Sometimes only by one poster, sometimes by hundreds - if your theory were correct, OP, there'd be no threads here at all.

You're clearly a horrible, deluded fool.

[ghostspirit]

what i find frustating is when i see posters saying but your not taking the advice given.. and then the thread sometimes turns into handbags at dawn. but an op/poster does not have to take any advice if they dont want to.