AIBU to want 30 seconds me time???

(7 Posts)
WildRoses Fri 17-Jun-16 14:11:54

I honestly believe that as soon as i sit down, my family conspire to find things for me to do. It wouldn't do to see me sit down for 5mins having a cuppa or reading.
"Mum can you get, mum can I have, mum where is this!"
And if they're not bad enough, dh is 10 times worse. He will literally ask me to get up and get something for him, even if he's sitting beside it!!
WTF do I have to do to get 5 minutes peace and quiet?!
Even when I get in the bath, I have dd either sat talking to me or actually in the bath!
I know I should enjoy it while it lasts cos one day they'll all be grown up but I honestly believe my family including dh are so lazy and incompetent. It's ridiculous. I walked the dogs the other day and dc came running after me, when I got back dh behaved like I'd left the country or gone out clubbing! Stressed, suffocated and frazzled. Does anyone else get this?

NightWanderer Fri 17-Jun-16 14:19:53

Husband would be told to get it himself, kids are told to wait 5 mins as mum is having a break.

TheSparrowhawk Fri 17-Jun-16 14:22:44

No because my DH is a partner rather than another child. If he ever asked me to get up and get something that was right beside him he would sorely regret it.

There is a rule in my house that if mummy is drinking tea or coffee she is off limits unless someone is actually dying. My kids know this rule and sometimes looking my cup to see how long it'll take before they can ask something again! While I'm drinking they are very welcome to sit on my lap and chat but I will not sort any fights, get any food or do any sort of jobs. That rule changes for nobody.

DH and I also give each other an hour here and there to disappear upstairs with a cup of tea for total peace and quiet. If I'm in the bath there is no coming in unless they're desperate for the toilet.

Why on earth was your DH acting like you'd left the country after you walked the dog? Do you do anything by yourself?

WildRoses Fri 17-Jun-16 14:57:49

In a word sparrow No. Dh lived on his.own with his 3 dc when I met him and did everything for them including everything in the house. When i say he did everything for them I mean everything. He taught them no independence or responsibility at all. Somehow now we're married it has fallen to me to do everything for 3 dsc plus my own 3 dc and not forgetting the grown up dc. I don't complain to them, I just do it all as when i ask for help all i get is complaints and arguments. My patience is starting to wear thin now though as 2 dss are mimicking dh by acting like spoilt, lazy gits. 2 of my dc are really good that they will help with little things if I ask but I feel awful for asking them as the rest of them do nothing at all.
I tried the trick of leaving it to see how long they could live in a pigsty but unfortunately I gave in before them as it just increased the work load.
Apparently dh acts with all the insecurity now cos his ew left him and dc for someone else and it emotionally damaged him which I can fully understand, but I don't feel my life should be ruled by what she did.
To add on to this I also work.
Feel totally taken for granted. Although with all the complaints dh does tell me regularly how much he loves me and how amazing I am and what a good step mum I am to his dc. hmm

TheSparrowhawk Fri 17-Jun-16 16:47:27

'Apparently dh acts with all the insecurity now cos his ew left him and dc for someone else and it emotionally damaged him which I can fully understand, but I don't feel my life should be ruled by what she did.'

This is emotional abuse. He expects you to tolerate ridiculous controlling behaviour because of something you are not responsible for.

Passthecake30 Fri 17-Jun-16 16:52:31

Personally I would do things appropriate for their age levels...and ignore the rest. So I get dd a drink (to save a mess), ds and dp get their own. I also have been known to lock myself in the loo to get some peace, if I'm there, then dv forget they have a fatherconfused

ApocalypseSlough Fri 17-Jun-16 16:53:46

What happens when DH asks you to fetch something that's near him?
Do you have a lock on the bathroom? If you're worried about them getting locked in put one of these high up. 2 for 55p grin

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