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AIBU to be upset about this?

(19 Posts)
RosieandJim89 Thu 16-Jun-16 18:16:32

I just picked up DS from nursery to find that they were having a father's day celebration. They decorated biscuits and had an (indoor) bbq.
All very lovely - except they didn't tell us! They did it for mothers day and I was lucky enough to spend a few hours doing nice stuff with DS like all the other mums but DH didn't get the chance to do the same because noone told us they were doing it. They sent an email last time and then the staff followed up but this time nothing.
I am quite upset at the thought that DS was there watching other children have quality time with their daddies and couldn't do the same.
The staff know I am unimpressed because I walked in and said "what are you celebrating?" When she told me I just replied "oh, I didn't realise you were doing that" in a kind of disgruntled tone.
Should I take this further? I turned up yesterday morning with DS in his scruffs to be told the photographer was coming that day for photos - something else they could have put in an email but never bothered with.

PPie10 Thu 16-Jun-16 18:19:32

How did the other parents know to turn up if it wasn't in an email?

VioletBam Thu 16-Jun-16 18:20:42

YANBU to be upset but you need to find out how the others knew.

JustSpeakSense Thu 16-Jun-16 18:20:58

Yes you should definitely say something, there has been a break down in communication. yiu have to wonder what else they aren't telling you.

RhubarbAndRose Thu 16-Jun-16 18:25:21

Just forget about it - you have years of non or miscommunication from school ahead of you. If you stress about this stuff you'll make it worse. You are probably projecting your feelings on DS - was he upset, did he say anything unprompted to you about it.....if not, don't worry.

To be honest in a couple of years time, you'll look st the picture of your DS in his scruffs and it will be your favourite photo because his personality will shine through in that picture.

VioletBam Thu 16-Jun-16 18:27:54

Well Rhubarb I disagree, OP needs to find out what went wrong in order to stop it happening again.

Just forget it isn't good advice.

RosieandJim89 Thu 16-Jun-16 18:48:26

Thanks all. I think I will send a "have you missed us off the mailing list as we have not been informed of x,y and z happening recently" email and see what they say.
I used to love this nursery and so did DS but it is really going downhill sad

VioletBam Thu 16-Jun-16 18:49:16

Do you go to do the pick up daily? Ask one of the other parents as well. Just to get two sides.

RhubarbAndRose Thu 16-Jun-16 18:53:26

LOL! Some of you are going to have a hard time when they start Y7!

It's not all one way - check your schools websites - and forget it. As long as they tell you important stuff don 'think worry about arbitrary stuff celebrating a total non event

Boysnme Thu 16-Jun-16 18:57:36

We have the same problem. Communication is shocking, dates get changed at the last minute (summer party meant to be Monday, day taken off work, last week got email to say it's moved to this Friday child now can't go). I was going to forget about it as DS is leaving soon anyway but that just allows them to think it's ok to behave like this and that's not fair on new kids coming in. So YANBU to be upset and you should complain if you feel strongly about it.

LetThereBeCupcakes Thu 16-Jun-16 19:03:26

It really does sound as if there's been a cock up with your email address, if everyone else knew. Drop them an email and ask them to check, or you might find you miss some really important info.

Yanbu to be upset though. My DS probably wouldn't be bothered but there are a couple in his nursery room that would be hysterical if everyone else's dad was there and his wasn't!

NoFuchsGiven Thu 16-Jun-16 19:06:48

It does sound like a bit of a cock up, either you didn't receive the email or your email was missed.

I find the whole thing bloody awful though, I do not think any school/nursery should be doing mothers and fathers day celebrations. Not every child has a a Mother and a Father.

It pisses me off when my childs school does 'bring your grandparent for tea and coffee morning' My dc do not have GP's (well they do but that is a different thread).

NickiFury Thu 16-Jun-16 19:08:33

LOL! Some of you are going to have a hard time when they start Y7!

No. I don't think most parents will. In our school the children are gradually taught to manage their own arrangements and pass on messages. So in Early Years - notes and emails about everything in Year 1 & 2 public notices on classroom doors etc with children's attention being regularly drawn to them and repeatedly told to pass onto parents, Year 3 onwards we are informed with a hard copy of what will be covered that half term with details of PE lessons and when homework is due and we as parents are supposed to work with our kids to make sure everything happens as it should and use that hard copy to organise ourselves, there are no further reminders.

OP - that's rubbish and I would be gutted too. Yes I would certainly mention it. At that age they can't pass stuff on so its up to the adults to do it.

NicknameUsed Thu 16-Jun-16 19:11:24

I would just check that they have your correct email address and phone number. It sounds like a mistake was made.

mylovegoesdown Thu 16-Jun-16 19:17:22

Yes you're unreasonable to be upset. There are far more important and significant things to be upset about.

And no, don't take it further.

Billyray23 Thu 16-Jun-16 19:18:26

I get this all the time at work. Parents say oh i didnt know that was happening. Yet there has been posters up for weeks and its in the news letter. What more can the staff do.

MapMyMum Thu 16-Jun-16 19:19:31

I think to a young child being left out like that is an important thing... deffinatly follow it up OP

RosieandJim89 Thu 16-Jun-16 19:26:44

They send me a "this is what x did to day email" every day telling me what he ate, played, activities etc so definitely have the right email - just aren't using it on the mailing list it seems.
Billyray - they don't have posters with events and I have checked back on my emails over the last 6 weeks and there are no emails with newsletters or anything other than the daily updates.

Enkopkaffetak Thu 16-Jun-16 19:28:10

LOL! Some of you are going to have a hard time when they start Y7!

4 children in 3 different secondary schools ALL 3 communicate FAR more efficiently than any of the 3 primary (1infant and 1junior - 1 primary) schools mine attended. I didn't even have a particularly poor experience with primary level. However not once have I had a By tomorrow please bring in "list of 20 ingredients only sourced in deepest Peru") This did happen at ALL primary schools

Not once have sports day or anything involving the parents not been emailed to us/ added to the calendar on the webpage/ informed the children.

The communication from 2ndary schools have been outright fantastic. Cant fault them on that.

Primary and nursery level poor and often last minute.

OP go ask outright why you did not get communication. No need to do much more than express you were disappointed that is likely to get it sorted. so there is no next time.

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